Friends embarrassing comment to pregnant women’s OH on walk

[Hailey87]

I met up with my friend for a walk at a local park earlier. We approached a couple who were stopped, a heavily pregnant woman was bent down to tie her lace whilst her (assumed) OH stood there.

Once we walked past them, my friend said to me quite loudly that he won’t be a lot of use if that’s what he’s like already. They definitely would have heard but didn’t say anything.

I felt she was being cheeky and should have kept her mouth shut…do you agree?

I would have been furious if my husband decided to tie my laces while I was pregnant. Your friend needs to butt out

I don’t think you need to be at the level of ‘complications’ to find late pregnancy physically debilitating. I struggled to tie shoes, everything hurt when I got up in the morning, I was exhausted after standing/walking for 15 mins, stabbing pain, sciatic nerve pain and pelvic pain were not unusual. I think all that is normal, I was a very normal pregnant weight although as a small person it was a lot for me.

Where do you get that she was struggling? It doesn't anything about struggling in the OP. It just says she was bending over tying her lace.

She was rude. That's the whole point. She made an assumption and then loudly commented to OP about how useless he was. Nobody can honestly say that isn't rude.

Yes she was a twat. My DH was recovering from surgery when I was pregnant and for the first few weeks of a new baby so couldn't help much. Some people would have seen us out with me pushing pram, sorting shopping etc and thinking what a lazy loaf of a partner. He hated it and would have been so humiliated to have others point it out. Your friend knows nothing about them so commenting is cruel.

Your DH ties your shoelaces for you? Seriously?

Did you bother to read my post?

I have a favourite pair of trainers but the laces come undone a lot, which gets frustrating. DH sometimes just ties them for me randomly, I don’t expect it. I don’t feel like a child when he does it, it’s just a nice thing to do.

This one? Yes. It is what I responded to.

I would have been mortified if DH has tried to tie my shoelaces like a child when I was pregnant. No idea why the majority of Mumsnet treat pregnancy like some debilitating illness. Most of us manange to cope with normal everyday activities just fine.

I feel sorry for you if no one wants to do a small thing for you just to be nice.

Erm, are we just making stuff up now?! Where does it say that she was clearly struggling?! 😕😁

There is the opportunity to rage at a man...of COURSE we're making stuff up! nothing MN loves more then to rage at an incompetent man...or a man they think is incompetent...or might be incompetent...or they make up is incompetent...or just a man tbh

It's not rocket science that a heavily woman will struggle tying her shoelaces whilst standing up and bending down. It's really uncomfortable bending down with a huge bump and it restricts your breathing as the baby bump presses into your lungs. The friend wouldn't have commented if the pregnant woman wasn't obviously struggling.

YANBU, that is rude and cringeworthy.

I agree! I wouldn’t say it myself but it may have been a good thing for the husband to hear so he knows that he should be helping his wife.

The friend might have done, because she was being rude. Also just because the woman was struggling it doesn’t mean she wanted someone else to do it for her, plenty of women have said on here they would not have wanted this.

Yes it's uncomfortable, but why are we assuming she wanted the help? That he hasn't offered and she's told him she's perfectly capable of tying her own laces? Or even that she was struggling, uncomfortable is one thing, a struggle is different.

And the friend is rude, she almost certainly would've made up the situation in her head (like many on here) and decided it needed calling out.

I'm moderately pregnant and got my DH to tie my shoelaces last week. He unbuckled my sandals the other day too for me too. Mainly because I couldn't be arsed 😂 He's gawp in many ways but he'll always look after me when I ask, but I suppose that's the crux, I asked .

I think if the pregnant woman couldn't comfortably tie her laces herself she'd have just worn different shoes. I was heavily pregnant in August once (gave birth early September) and basically just wore flip flops.

How bloody ridiculous. I managed to carry on doing what I'd always done throughout both of my pregnancies. If the woman was struggling (and there is no suggestion of this) she could have asked her OH for help.

If my OH & I had been in that situation & your friend said that, we wouldn't have known she was making a dig at us because the reality would have been very different. Or if we did realise we'd have told the silly bitch to shut the fuck up or just laughed at the stupidity of her comment

Why is there this immediate narrative that the poor woman has had to struggle with her laces and her husband has just stood back and watched rather then the man she was with (who may not be her husband...) standing back whilst she capably ties her laces after telling him she does not need him to help snd she is perfect able to do it.

OP didn't say anything about how the guy stood there and watched his partner struggle. Nobody said anything to suggest the pregnant lady was struggling?

Even at 9m pregnant I could bend down and tie my laces fine, get up unaided, pick stuff up off the floor, goodness me. I'm sure if this random stranger needed help with her laces she'd have asked. Your friend was being judgmental, rude and awful. She's lucky they didn't hear, or didn't react to her.

No one has said that at all. Just that it’s ridiculous to assume the woman in question couldn’t tie her own shoe laces. Of course some women need this sort of help in pregnancy, but why on earth would anyone assume this? We know the woman in question could tie her own shoe laces because she was literally observed by OP and her rude friend tying her own shoe laces. Presumably you wouldn’t have been observed tying your own laces in the middle of a park because you couldn’t.

i surprised no one is screaming about the fact this poor invalid women had to go for a walk surely husband could have picked a safer activity other then a nice walk for her
was the women carrying a handbag shock horror handbags are heavy and could be damaging
how did they get to the park did they drive omg so dangerous for pregnant women to be in a car
did they walk MORE WALKING stop I can't handle the abuse going on here lol

He should have given her a piggy back. Disgusting he made her walk.