Friends embarrassing comment to pregnant women’s OH on walk

[Hailey87]

I met up with my friend for a walk at a local park earlier. We approached a couple who were stopped, a heavily pregnant woman was bent down to tie her lace whilst her (assumed) OH stood there.

Once we walked past them, my friend said to me quite loudly that he won’t be a lot of use if that’s what he’s like already. They definitely would have heard but didn’t say anything.

I felt she was being cheeky and should have kept her mouth shut…do you agree?

Perhaps he did offer and she declined 🤷‍♀️

I certainly wouldn't have wanted my DH (or anyone else, come to that) doing stuff like tying my laces for me. Even in the very advanced stages of my pregnancies, which were by then very difficult.

I could still tie my own laces though and nobody else would ever have done it in exactly the way I would have wanted either so I would just have undone it again to do it my own way.

I would have seen someone who tried to infantilise me in that way as very rude, not kind. I was pregnant, not incapable, I would ask for help if needed. I mean, I would have spoken civilly to them but my meaning would have been clear in a "no thanks, I'm a fusspot who just wants to do it my own way" sort of way.

The only time I actually couldn't tie my own laces was when I had broken my arm and simply couldn't grip anything. That was when I bought my first pair of Skechers slip-ins, so that I didn't have to have laces tied by other people for any longer than necessary.

This.

The bloke could have been anyone - her brother, a work colleague, a man she does a hobby with.

Your friend is a nosy cow and needs to mind her own business!

That’s embarrassing and wrong of her to judge publicly accuse him of being a useless partner/dad for the future, over a few second snapshot over pregnant lady tying her own laces, she doesn’t know them.

Ha, true probably couldn't win either way on here 😂
Be accused of being a patronising upholder of the patriarchy or something 😁

Your friend is incredibly rude.

I expect he offered and she said she could manage.

Your friend was being a twerp in my view! I was doing several miles long walks at 40 weeks pregnant and had a huge bump but I could easily tie my shoes and wouldn’t ask my DH to do it for me. He knows I’m independent and prefer to do things myself unless really needed!

pregnancy is a life choice not an illness and does not make a women completely helpless that they should wrap in cotton wool for nine months and expect the partner to do everything from dressing them bathing them n feeding them to all the housework etc ur friend is ridiculous the poor women is perfectly capable of tying her laces if she wants to cripes mn getting worse

Absolutely. It would almost certainly make him THINK what a rude, gobby, PITA that total complete stranger is.

I wouldn't ask my husband to tie my shoe lace when pregnant because I was capable of doing it myself.

On the face of it, it does seem selfish.

It’s good she said something.

u sound princess and hard work did ur partner wrap you in cotton wool today

I’m on the fence as we don’t know if he did offer to help before you approached.

A lot of people on here saying pregnant women aren’t invalids, but realistically it can cause issues can’t it. I was absolutely huge and did actually need to ask my DH with shoe help towards the end. I also develiped sciatica with DC1 and a breathing problem with DC2.

People on MN always so dramatic.

Who has been dramatic, OP asked if it was rude that her friend said that?

We don't know the circumstances from one snapshot of life in a park or wherever though!
For all we know he could have already offered to help earlier that morning and got snapped at, so left her to it the next time 😁

Exactly. I’ve been pregnant twice and would have been mortified to have been treated like a child or being unable to tie my laces. Pregnancy is NOT a disability. If my husband had tried this (he wouldn’t have dared as I’m fiercely independent) I would have been embarrassed and annoyed

So, if you were out with your male partner, colleague, friend, brother or whoever you would be quite happy for a complete stranger to make assumptions and comments about them. Even though that stranger didn't know you or him from adam, had no idea of any conversation before they appeared. You would actually be okay with a complete stranger commenting loudly about them? Really?

Yes, that’s why I said ‘on the face of it’.

I have a favourite pair of trainers but the laces come undone a lot, which gets frustrating. DH sometimes just ties them for me randomly, I don’t expect it. I don’t feel like a child when he does it, it’s just a nice thing to do.

Oh just fuck off with this. Some people don’t have the same experience as you. I know, isn’t it insane?

This woman was clearly struggling while her presumably loving spouse stood there like a marzipan dildo and watched her struggle. He could have helped her.

Who cares you that you had a 48-week pregnancy and ran daily marathons until you birthed you baby in 14 seconds on your way to work?

I would be fine with it, but I get a lot of strangers talking to me. As long as they’re not rude, I don’t mind.

You don’t need to know what happened before though - OPs friend didn’t know, she was rude to strangers without context. The guy isn’t rude because you struggled in your pregnancy. I had problems in my pregnancies but wouldn’t have wanted my husband to tie my shoes for me, OPs friend was just plain rude.

🤣

Marzipan dildo 😂

Clearly struggling?! Says who?! Honestly the shit some of you make up in your heads is hilarious 😀