To think that those who clutter their homes with things instead of focusing on experiences and connections are compensating for something?

[BeTaupeLeader]

I feel like people who accumulate tons of stuff may be filling a void or trying to make up for something that’s lacking in their life, whether it’s meaningful relationships or personal fulfilment. Experiences and connections are what truly enrich our lives, so why focus on things?

Or they just value different experiences compared to you.

I value a night with a good book, good food, and a comfortably cozy room more than I value a night in the pub chatting to people. So I focus on making my home a nice place to exist in.

I live having people visit me rather than me going to them so I want to make it a nice place for them too.

Different people have different priorities in life.

different things will make different people happy.

You clearly have someone specific in mind....go on, this board is anonymous. Feel free to bitch about her to your heart's content.

Yet another thread with a 3 word username and a two sentence OP - im starting to think Mumsnet is generating these themselves.

I like to make memories personally but I understand some people like to buy possessions and that’s fine too.
We live in a consumer world and marketing is very clever making people believe they will be happy when they have achieved the expensive car/house/designer clothes etc and people buy it quite literally and measure their success on it.

What's wrong with things and experiences? It's not one or the other.

I think that’s true of a lot - pets, gambling, extreme exercise, obsessive hobbies, overeating, workaholic tendencies, porn addiction etc etc. We all want connection and ‘experiences’ but if you can’t get that at Argos or Tesco, what do you do? 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’m sorry but you’re kinda stating the bleedin’ obvious.

I like to do both.

We buy stuff on our trips! By the time you get to my age (60s), the house is easily filled with mementos of great holidays.

Well surely it depends on what those things are and what they are for?

Some possessions might be important to support a hobby or some other interest or passion.

What about books?

Both of the above can enrich our lives.

Also some people who travel and have experiences might bring back things which are special to them and remind them if those experiences. The same can be said of relationships. Items that remind you of a deceased loved one can be special.

I think you have a narrow view on what can make a person feel fulfilled.

Hmmm, I spend a significant amount of time at home, so I do appreciate it looking aesthetically pleasing & feeling cosy. I really enjoy seeking out nice furniture & accessories.

I also spend time out of the house forging relationships and pursuing hobbies & travelling.

I don’t see them as mutually exclusive.

I'm a hoarder and find your post offensive @BeTaupeLeader .

I agree with @DoAWheelie and @Sirzy - different people like and value different things - doesn’t make one view right and the other wrong - just different.

I like my home and the things in it, which make it homely for me. I am disabled and can’t go out much, so it is important for me to have an environment that gives me happiness.

The world would be boring if we were all the same.

Quite often you can't have both because it's too expensive.

I really want to do our house up because we've been here over 10 years and some bits are looking a bit tatty. I also want to extend it to create a bigger living space and change the layout a bit to my preferred taste.

I also want to go on nice holidays overseas.

However, we can't do both so I think let's buy the nice light fittings, sort the house out because that's where we spend most of our time. A holiday is a lovely experience (if everyone behaves!) but you spend more time at home than anywhere else.

Same with clothes etc, it would be silly walking around with holes in your shoes just so that you can go on holiday.

You appear to confusing your opinion with a universally agreed perspective

What are you wanting posters to say?

We're all different pretty much covers it

It doesn’t have to be either/or. My post was more about extremes, when there’s an overwhelming focus on stuff and very little investment in meaningful relationships or relationships. That’s when I start to wonder what’s really going on underneath.

I feel like you start multiple ‘controversial statement’ threads for reasons that I just can’t fathom, but here we are. I wonder what you’re missing?

What about people who clutter their lives with experiences and people and live in depressing minimalist homes where you dare not put a cup down as it looks untidy?

No they just like stuff

I just don’t think they see it, or see it as an issue.

It’s obvious to some but I don’t think we talk about it enough. I just find it interesting how often we overlook these coping mechanisms and normalise them, especially when they’re socially acceptable (like constant shopping). It’s not a dig, just an observation.

I’m not saying all possessions are meaningful or shallow. I get that items can hold emotional or symbolic value, especially when tied to hobbies or memories. My point was more about excessive accumulation or the kind of “stuff for the sake of stuff” mindset that can sometimes be a stand-in for deeper fulfilment. But yes, you’re right, it’s not black and white.

Are you talking about hoarders? I mean before throw-away plastics, everyone did this in case they needed it in future… it was a lot less wasteful too

Brilliant reposne.

I think the OP is written in a really condescending tone. Some people are different and do different things. Some people collect things. For pleasure. For comfort. Sure, some people will also fall into the hoarding category. Still doesn't actually affect you, OP.

The OP really reminds me of an annoying bloke I know who posts "People Not Things" on social media all the time like some kind of sanctimonious mantra. At least he did a few years ago. I unfollowed the insufferable twat a while back.

Why wonder about that ?

What about people who spend their whole lives focussing on pets ?

There are whole threads on here about people who don't want relationships because supposedly all men are crap.

Some people find the rest of the world (meaning people) irritating.

I have some sympathy with that.

A psycho-analyser might wonder why people spend so much time focussing on other peoples lives rather than being more concerned with their own.