To expect aggressive dogs to be secured prior to visit?

[Harshreality]

My Dd (10) is a little nervous around dogs. We have encouraged her to combine boldness with caution and to be sensible around unknown dogs.

One of the reasons for her timidity is my PIL dogs. From a young age they have been around her unrestrained; pinning her to the wall and nosing her face at 18mo, barking at her til she leaves the couch and they take the spot. One of them is a known biter, they took it on because it bit the previous owner's child and they wanted to rehabilitate it. It is extremely aggressive, and lunged for Dd last time. My husband got between them and was bitten on the leg. We demanded they secured the dog while we were there or we'd have to leave.

We are visiting next week and I'm dreading the dog vs gc battle. I know it is their home but AIBU to expect them to secure the dogs for the duration of our visit. It's only a weekend

It’s absolutely shocking that they will risk the safety of a child over a dog. I wouldn’t go, simple as that. I’ve got a similar issue with a neighbour that I used to help a lot. Now has a very aggressive dog that has attacked several people
so I refuse to go in there or be near it. Anybody asking you to do anything else can get to fuck.

I wouldn't be going.

I wouldn't set foot in there. Why should your lo have to put up with that? Its one thing if a child is just scared (not that that's nothing, but there's an argument both ways), but this is a no brainer for me...the dog has tried to bite her and someone has jumped in and been bitten. That's it, full stop.

I wouldn't go either.

But you'll get loads of responses saying that your child needs help for their anxiety and that it's the dog's home and how dare you expect it to be under control in its own home...

Humans before dogs. Always. But apparently not, we all have to worship the Cult of the (badly behaved) Dog. It's no surprise that dog is the reverse of god...

You are wildly unreasonable to be going.

Just don’t go.

we have two dogs (medium sized, non aggressive) and they are always restrained when there are children in the house.

That’s absolutely ridiculous taking on a dog because it bit a child then exposing it to a child. Are these people completely stupid? How do they expect this is going to play out? Christ almighty. It’s people like this who are the problem with reactive dogs. It should never have been rehomed in a household children visit if it has bitten a child.

My dog isn't aggressive but he is very excitable and will try and locate your brain with his tongue up your nose. Whenever anyone comes into my home he is on his lead and harness until a) he has calmed down b) the guest is either comfortable with the OTT affection or that he isn't going to try and hurt them.

It might be my dog and his home, but ensuring my guests are comfortable and safe is utmost priority. It is basic decency!

I can’t imagine any sane person saying you’re wrong.

Of course the dog should be secured.

I say that as a soft Labrador owner but I always secure him before someone visits.

If they have a known biter and this poor behaviour isn’t new, then your in-laws clearly don’t care about your child.

Why on earth would you take her there? That’s just asking for trouble. They can meet you outside of the house sans dogs and if they don’t like it then that’s too bad. You’d have to be crazy to take her back there.

My child would not be going in their house

It's lovely that they love and care for their dogs

BUT why on earth are YOU visiting them !

no

they visit you without the dogs

or

you meet somewhere neutral without the dogs - and if it's for a weekend then the dogs go to kennels or a dog sitter.

I absolutely adore dogs. I wouldn't go anywhere where I thought a dangerous dog could hurt me or mine.

I own 3 dogs and would not go there unless dogs were properly secured away!

Thanks everyone. You all emboldened me to lay the smack down and not take her. I appreciate it.

The suggestion that they visit us, not us visit them - I'll stick with this and gray wall anything else

I’d insist they visit you if they want to see you, why should you out your child risk, a lot of dog owners think their dog is the cutest, funniest, loveliest dog in the world when in reality they’re a bloody pain in the arse.

I wouldn’t take my child to stay in a house with an aggressive dog.

It’s not a discussion, it’s a no.

Do you really need to ask? Should your child be in a situation where they could get bitten by an aggressive dog? No. Of course they shouldn’t.

My mums dog isn’t aggressive but it’s a Labrador “puppy” he’s 1 and he’s the size of a bloody pony, he’s humongous and as soon as you walk in he’s going ballistic, he’s jumping all over you, knocking drinks out your hand, nudging you under the chin, pretty much sitting on your head, and my mum just laughs and she’s like oh bless him, he likes you 😂 yeah well the feelings now mutual get your bloody elephant off my lap ffs, I do like dogs but come on, if someone’s kid was doing that you’d expect the parent to put a. Stop to it, but when it’s a dog it’s all fun and games 🙄

I wouldn't go near that house. Why put a child in that situation more than once?

From a young age they have been around her unrestrained; pinning her to the wall and nosing her face at 18mo, barking at her til she leaves the couch and they take the spot

Yabu.

Yes, your PIL are ur too. But to be completely frank it sounds like you as parents have utterly failed your dd for years. Lucky you that there hasn't been an awful outcome.

This 'we can't visit you with the dogs there' conversation should have happened YEARS ago.

Yes, quite. That’s what I’m finding so unbelievable about this thread.

You are right. I suppose because it's DH parents but that's no excuse. You are right.