To ask for your top decluttering strategies

Clearoutthecrap · 2025-08-19T21:51:30+00:00

My OH and I are disappearing under huge piles of clutter but we have finally agreed that we are going to hire skip(s) and be ruthless about getting rid of surplus stuff. He prefers to keep all manner of rubbish just in case it could possible be useful at some stage in the future whereas I get depressed living in such chaos so we definitely need to try to meet somewhere in the middle. The only potential strategy I have atm is to separate into 4 categories of keep, chuck, donate and sell. Please can you share any tips or strategies which have helped you move from clutter and chaos to order and calm.

TranceNation · 19/08/2025 22:54

I'm quite big on no clutter and I'm quite brutal. If it's not of sentimental value or we've not used it over the last 12-18 months then it gets binned/taken to the charity shop.

Original poster

Clearoutthecrap · 19/08/2025 22:57

TranceNation · 19/08/2025 22:54

I'm quite big on no clutter and I'm quite brutal. If it's not of sentimental value or we've not used it over the last 12-18 months then it gets binned/taken to the charity shop.

Do you ever wish you had kept something when you find you need it though? That’s what my OH would worry about. He’d rather pay tens of thousands of pounds to build extra storage for his crap just in case he needs it. I despair ☹️

OP posts:

suki1964 · 19/08/2025 23:04

Decluttering, when you are both on different pages needs to be looked at differently

If he has a man cave/shed/garage, then let him store his stuff - organised as best you can - for now

Do the house

Anything he will not part with just say fine - garage

Once you have the house under control, and you keep moving his "cant part withs" to the garage/shed - there comes a point when he has to face it and do a clear out

Ive been doing this with my husband for the past three years - we are down to a shed now which is next years plan

No longer do I accept his tools, screws, part projects in the house. Every week I fill a box and leave it in the garage

Next year Im praying we can get rid of all the imperial tools that haven't been used for 20/30 years :)

User415373 · 19/08/2025 23:06

4 categories is a good place to start but it depends on how you tackle it.
I'm no Mrs Hinch or declutter guru...it's just the way I live. A bag here and there, actively throwing stuff when I come across it. Living like this keeps it manageable.
Best advice really is to not get caught up on if you might use it again. It's almost certain you'll never think of it again and the freedom that gives is immense. If you ever need that exact thing again, you can buy it. You have to offset the benefit of always have a wallpaper remover (example!) taking up space vs the reality of ever needing one again and that space being wasted. And so what if you do? You can buy/borrow.
I have never ever regretted getting rid of anything (even childhood stuff. I have memories/I know it happened).
Also you can't think about money. No point worrying about how much it's worth or cost. It's not real money sitting in your house doing nothing - get rid.
Lastly you have to think about maintenance. A skip is good but you'll end up here again if you don't change. Getting stuff out of my house is a vital part of my life and I dedicate time and effort to it, in the same way I do cooking etc. It's a mindset you have to adopt. As soon as I'm done with something, it goes. On Facebook marketplace or to the charity shop.
On that note, stop bringing things into your house. I feel like I have been in a phase of bringing lots in (2 kids in the last 4 years) and most of that stuff is now gone (clothes, cots, bottles, toys, buggies, bouncers, walkers etc etc). The 2 kids have been allowed to stay.

TranceNation · 19/08/2025 23:08

Clearoutthecrap · 19/08/2025 22:57

Do you ever wish you had kept something when you find you need it though? That’s what my OH would worry about. He’d rather pay tens of thousands of pounds to build extra storage for his crap just in case he needs it. I despair ☹️

Show quote history

Honestly every now and then we realise we might have made a blooper when further down the line we are like ah yeah we used to have one of those but all in all our assessment process seems to work more often than not. It's mainly things such as clothes and kids toys. Fairly easy to assess which clothes you haven't worn for a long time and which toys have been outgrown as they get older. Towels is another good one. Really don't need endless amounts of towels.

We also upgrade things but we don't keep duplicate numbers of the same things eg on holiday at the moment we've brought some new table coasters in a gift shop for example so we will take the current coasters to the charity shop when we return. Don't need another set tucked away somewhere taking up valuable storage space. We also don't get gifts to simply to put on the mantle piece that just gather dust.

Original poster

Clearoutthecrap · 19/08/2025 23:08

User415373 · 19/08/2025 23:06

4 categories is a good place to start but it depends on how you tackle it.
I'm no Mrs Hinch or declutter guru...it's just the way I live. A bag here and there, actively throwing stuff when I come across it. Living like this keeps it manageable.
Best advice really is to not get caught up on if you might use it again. It's almost certain you'll never think of it again and the freedom that gives is immense. If you ever need that exact thing again, you can buy it. You have to offset the benefit of always have a wallpaper remover (example!) taking up space vs the reality of ever needing one again and that space being wasted. And so what if you do? You can buy/borrow.
I have never ever regretted getting rid of anything (even childhood stuff. I have memories/I know it happened).
Also you can't think about money. No point worrying about how much it's worth or cost. It's not real money sitting in your house doing nothing - get rid.
Lastly you have to think about maintenance. A skip is good but you'll end up here again if you don't change. Getting stuff out of my house is a vital part of my life and I dedicate time and effort to it, in the same way I do cooking etc. It's a mindset you have to adopt. As soon as I'm done with something, it goes. On Facebook marketplace or to the charity shop.
On that note, stop bringing things into your house. I feel like I have been in a phase of bringing lots in (2 kids in the last 4 years) and most of that stuff is now gone (clothes, cots, bottles, toys, buggies, bouncers, walkers etc etc). The 2 kids have been allowed to stay.

Thanks, that’s really useful advice.

OP posts:

MuffinsAreJustCakesAtBreakfast · 19/08/2025 23:09

Start upstairs and pull everything out of the cupboards and wardrobes etc, put only the things back that you are keeping. Put everything else into two piles: "Rubbish" and "Maybe". Rubbish goes in the skip, and the maybe pile gets pushed to the back of the house (in my case the kitchen)

Work systematically from room to room, making your way downstairs through the room to the back of the house: the kitchen.

by this point the kitchen will be home to a massive "maybe" pile so this room will take the longest and be crunch time for keep/not-keep desicions.

Accept that your house will look like a shit heap during this systematic process.

also - store charging cables in sandwich bags and label them. One bag for micro usb, one bag for all the iPhone cables etc ...

olderbutwiser · 19/08/2025 23:10

Is there something in his background that makes getting rid of stuff more difficult for him? Keeping stuff that other people clearly recognise as crap is not rational, and there is often a background of loss or fear or sudden change that drives it. Go gently with him.

Personally I have never regretted getting rid of anything (including my mild hoarder XDH).

BlueJeansAndPatches · 19/08/2025 23:10

Try A Slob Comes Clean for useful concepts.

Allow yourself a replacement budget. Say that if you do regret getting rid of anything you're allowed to buy it again. The chances are you'll be able to get rid of 100s of things and at most re-buy one. Much better than keeping them all just in case.

Original poster

Clearoutthecrap · 19/08/2025 23:11

TranceNation · 19/08/2025 23:08

Honestly every now and then we realise we might have made a blooper when further down the line we are like ah yeah we used to have one of those but all in all our assessment process seems to work more often than not. It's mainly things such as clothes and kids toys. Fairly easy to assess which clothes you haven't worn for a long time and which toys have been outgrown as they get older. Towels is another good one. Really don't need endless amounts of towels.

We also upgrade things but we don't keep duplicate numbers of the same things eg on holiday at the moment we've brought some new table coasters in a gift shop for example so we will take the current coasters to the charity shop when we return. Don't need another set tucked away somewhere taking up valuable storage space. We also don't get gifts to simply to put on the mantle piece that just gather dust.

Edited

Show quote history

Sounds like you are both in agreement with the strategy which must help. My OH will keep a broken item even when we get a replacement so that he can fix the broken one or use it for spares. He never does!

OP posts:

SimoneHere · 19/08/2025 23:13

Don’t sweat the grey areas. You will reach decision fatigue quickly, so just aim to deal with the obvious things first, and then do a 2nd or even 3rd sweep.

e.g. if you think you need to get rid of 50% of your stuff in total:

get rid of the easiest 20% first,
then get some mental space,
then get rid of 20% of what’s left,
then get some space again,
then 20% of what remains.

You have now got rid of 48.8% of your stuff!

Mayismymonth · 19/08/2025 23:14

Something I try to live by is to store the things that I might want to use in the future on eBay. Meaning that I sell the item and then if I ever do really need it in the future, I just buy a similar item on eBay (then I can sell it again afterwards).

goodnightssleepbenice · 19/08/2025 23:15

Any clothes not worn in the last year get rid . If you are selling stuff on Vinted for example keep it for 2 3 weeks after advertising then charity shop it. Otherwise it just adds to clutter . Would your husband notice if you got rid of some of his stuff that he doesn’t need / use ?

Original poster

Clearoutthecrap · 19/08/2025 23:15

olderbutwiser · 19/08/2025 23:10

Is there something in his background that makes getting rid of stuff more difficult for him? Keeping stuff that other people clearly recognise as crap is not rational, and there is often a background of loss or fear or sudden change that drives it. Go gently with him.

Personally I have never regretted getting rid of anything (including my mild hoarder XDH).

He was quite poor when he was growing up and his father was very practical in mending and repairing things. We are cash rich and time poor though so it really doesn’t make sense for him to behave as he does now.

OP posts:

Original poster

Clearoutthecrap · 19/08/2025 23:18

SimoneHere · 19/08/2025 23:13

Don’t sweat the grey areas. You will reach decision fatigue quickly, so just aim to deal with the obvious things first, and then do a 2nd or even 3rd sweep.

e.g. if you think you need to get rid of 50% of your stuff in total:

get rid of the easiest 20% first,
then get some mental space,
then get rid of 20% of what’s left,
then get some space again,
then 20% of what remains.

You have now got rid of 48.8% of your stuff!

Thanks, that’s good advice and I love that you got the maths right!

OP posts:

VaseofViolets · 19/08/2025 23:19

Clearoutthecrap · 19/08/2025 23:11

Sounds like you are both in agreement with the strategy which must help. My OH will keep a broken item even when we get a replacement so that he can fix the broken one or use it for spares. He never does!

Show quote history

My DH does this. Or tries to. He thinks he does…

He never, ever has the time to repair anything, but keeps kettles, toasters, microwaves, cables and wires etc “just in case” He puts them in the garage or the loft.

But not really. I throw it all away, I can’t abide clutter and I refuse to give houseroom to broken old junk. In nearly thirty years he’s never remembered any of it or mentioned using any of this stuff we’ve supposedly kept! He forgets about it and I get rid of it asap.

Original poster

Clearoutthecrap · 19/08/2025 23:20

goodnightssleepbenice · 19/08/2025 23:15

Any clothes not worn in the last year get rid . If you are selling stuff on Vinted for example keep it for 2 3 weeks after advertising then charity shop it. Otherwise it just adds to clutter . Would your husband notice if you got rid of some of his stuff that he doesn’t need / use ?

I have threatened to get a skip when he is away but I wouldn’t really do that!

OP posts:

FrightfulCounterHon · 19/08/2025 23:20

It is hard work but often if you really look at your stuff (particularly clothes and shoes) you can ask yourself “why would I want to keep this” and it’s quite difficult to answer

One thing that really helps though is not to buy stuff in the first place. If you make a “no purchase” pact for a few months while you’re decluttering you’ll free up some money (to replace later anything you regret throwing out) and also be forced to use up spare consumables. And you’ll be setting yourself up for good habits in future!

Original poster

Clearoutthecrap · 19/08/2025 23:22

VaseofViolets · 19/08/2025 23:19

My DH does this. Or tries to. He thinks he does…

He never, ever has the time to repair anything, but keeps kettles, toasters, microwaves, cables and wires etc “just in case” He puts them in the garage or the loft.

But not really. I throw it all away, I can’t abide clutter and I refuse to give houseroom to broken old junk. In nearly thirty years he’s never remembered any of it or mentioned using any of this stuff we’ve supposedly kept! He forgets about it and I get rid of it asap.

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Maybe I should try that then 😀

OP posts:

Jamfirstest · 19/08/2025 23:23

My best advice to begin with is sort out the route out of your house before you even start. For example when can you next drive to the chazza? Maybe that’s on Wednesday next week? So if you don’t need the boot space in between you can start filling the car boot. What are you putting the chazza stuff in? I always buy a roll of white bin bags then there’s no confusion with actual refuse. My kids know the routine so well - black bin liner actual rubbish, white bin liner chazza. Full the white bags and put them straight in the boot. When the boot is full stop because the bags all over the house are too stressful. Then plot your next drop and do it all again.
if there isn’t a clear point when all the staff you have sorted through will leave the house in the next few days it becomes too stressful before you get going.

the other thing I keep threatening with dp is to buy some dot stickers and put one on every item he insists he needs. Then in 6-12 months if he hasn’t used them he will have to let them go.

lastly I find decluttering easier to get going if I start with something easy like lidless Tupperware - Marie Kondo suppprt this - you start with unsentimental and work up to emotional items.

keep posting op xx

ByLimeAnt · 19/08/2025 23:24

I'm ruthless when it comes to getting rid of stuff. However, when I started I was looking forward to getting it done and moving on with my nice slimline environment.

It didn't quite work out like that. I found that you are never really "finished", it's a cycle, a process - but that doesn't matter. Once you get down to a sort of "clutter baseline" it becomes much easier.

Last month i decluttered the shed (well, my half. STBXH can deal with his own crap and I drew a line down the middle). I planned to go straight to the recycling centre and made lots of space in the boot. I only half filled it because actually most stuff was gone already. It gets less onerous.

I read something somewhere that addresses the "maybe" pile. If you are unsure but can replace said item at under £20 within a 20 minute journey, then bin it. It's not foolproof but not a bad start.

jjeoreo · 19/08/2025 23:25

Try the podcast "a slob comes clean". Its a very useful resource for People Like Us who have a clutter problem. She gets it. There's also an excellent book that is an easy read. The problem with Hinch and pals is that they are fundamentally different types of people. She has an excellent no mess declutter method - it takes time and feels counterintuitive but its more practical than a huge blitz which creates more piles of mess/bags by the door/boxes of stuff "to sell".

Original poster

Clearoutthecrap · 19/08/2025 23:26

Thanks everyone. I’m loving all these tips

OP posts:

jjeoreo · 19/08/2025 23:26

VaseofViolets · 19/08/2025 23:19

My DH does this. Or tries to. He thinks he does…

He never, ever has the time to repair anything, but keeps kettles, toasters, microwaves, cables and wires etc “just in case” He puts them in the garage or the loft.

But not really. I throw it all away, I can’t abide clutter and I refuse to give houseroom to broken old junk. In nearly thirty years he’s never remembered any of it or mentioned using any of this stuff we’ve supposedly kept! He forgets about it and I get rid of it asap.

Edited

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Genius

OrigamiOwls · 19/08/2025 23:27

Be careful of having a "to sell" pile (unless you have anything proper valuable). Are you actually going to sell it, or is it just going to loiter around the house?
If it's listed on Vinted for a couple of quid - be ruthless - if it hasn't sold in a fortnight then take it to the charity shop.