To ask for your top decluttering strategies

[Clearoutthecrap]

My OH and I are disappearing under huge piles of clutter but we have finally agreed that we are going to hire skip(s) and be ruthless about getting rid of surplus stuff.
He prefers to keep all manner of rubbish just in case it could possible be useful at some stage in the future whereas I get depressed living in such chaos so we definitely need to try to meet somewhere in the middle.
The only potential strategy I have atm is to separate into 4 categories of keep, chuck, donate and sell.
Please can you share any tips or strategies which have helped you move from clutter and chaos to order and calm.

It’s amazingly satisfying! 😄

I put loads of things on Freecycle or Olio - it amazes me when I look back through my listings occasionally. I never remember any of it! Shows I never needed it in the first place, I guess.

I'm doing a serious declutter at present.I've gone down a bit of a rabbit hole recently because the good weather has encouraged me to wash lots of clothes.The disadvantage is the sheer volume of washing but the sorting process has been useful.
I have a bag for the clothes bank, a bag for the classier charity shop, a bag for the more run of the mill charity shop and a bag for the book shelf in my local store.At present I'm removing these bags at least every 2 days so I'm seeing large amounts of clutter leave the house.
Toiletry clutter is also a problem so I'm having to focus on disposal of older items and using up in date items.
A great lesson has been learnt when I've really dithered over giving away an item of clothing only to see that even the charity shop can't dispose of it.

Lots of posters missing the point completely. Resolving hoarding is not a practical problem is an emotional and possibly even mental health problem.
Good luck changing your partner's whole personality, the OP was right to say any drastic action would end their relationship.
However, something does need doing to compromise, as there are two people in the relationship.
If agreement rather than practicalities are the issue then I'd suggest agreeing some ground rules first and p acing yourselves, I like the 20% rule mentioned although even that might be ambitious for some!
Good luck OP!

With regards to replacement costs, if it costs under a certain amount, I toss. I probably won't need to replace it, if I do, It won't cost me what storing it for years would.

Storage is expensive. If he has a clutter hoard, work out the area in square meters his hoard takes up and the cost of storing it. That is area you don't have for living space if it's in your home. What percentage of your mortgage is paying for storing clutter? Put that up against the cost of possibly replacing an item and you'll see replacement is actually the cheaper option.

These threads are always the same @johnd2 .
I have a hoarding problem.
I could presumably pay someone to clear it all away, but it would fill back again.

I think for me the best solution would be to take off and nuke the entire site from orbit.

We were drowning in paperwork, so I set up a separate gmail account & scanned everything into the google drive. Then sent it all off to be shredded. Switched all household bills to this email now. Have also started saving various manuals for appliances in there too and put the originals in recycling.

Last year I joined 2 free cycle groups on Facebook & I’m slowly giving away unneeded furniture, clothes, kids games, books, DVDs multiple reusable cups, appliances, curtains, lamps (you name it people will be delighted to take it off your hands. No need for a big skip). It’s a great way to get rid of stuff that charity shops don’t take. It also means you can do it over time rather than trying to sort it out over one weekend. I’ve seen people give away building materials, paint, wallpaper etc as well on these groups.

Clothes & toys may also be welcome at your local women’s refuge, as well as furniture when they are moved into permanent accommodation.

Good luck with it all. It’s a daunting task, but so worth it when you start to see results.

🤣 Are you the hoarder in your household @WeylandYutani?

Yes. I live alone so accountable to me only.

Thanks @MrsEMR
The problem with free cycle groups is that I would be a bit worried about having randoms picking up stuff and snooping round our property.

You could really go to town with the decluttering then if you get the urge

I can’t bear clutter. My husband is a level 1 hoarder. I care about the house and not the garage or his office - these are his domains and he can do/keep whatever he likes in those areas.

Concentrate on the house go through room by room/cupboard by cupboard and clear it all out. We did this before moving a few years ago and turns out my DH loves living in a tidy clutter free home and has joined the program …hallelujah …. in the house at least. I also do what a previous poster suggested and dump his stuff in the garage for him if it’s left lying around.

Tip / charity / keep were our piles. Don’t make getting rid of everything too difficult for yourselves or you won’t do it. There are charities that will collect good quality items.

That sounds like a reasonable compromise to work towards a clutter free house but let him have his junk in the outbuildings

If you are going to sell stuff then make sure its all good stuff that you would actually buy, not junk. We've decluttered bits and made around £600 selling old phones, sunglasses, old gaming consules, dvds over the past few months on Ebay.

Vinted is ok but previous posts are right in saying if it hasn't sold in 2 weeks then just donate it.

No need for them to come in the house, you can leave it outside.

Ive done this loads on fb local community pages, take a couple of photos saying its outside, no reserving, on street name. You dont even have to give your door number. If people want it, they'll come and get it quickly.

I take the toy story approach. Would my toys, clothes, kitchen items really want to be sat all alone unplayed with/not worn/never used? I feel sad for them. So I try and give them to people (via the power of Facebook marketplace) who will use them again.

To be fair, the OP has asked for decluttering tips and strategies.

She did not ask us how to change a hoarder.

I got rid of half of everything we owned when we moved into our current house 7 years ago, and keep going - I've always got a bag ready for charity, or a load ready for the tip. I try not to buy too much, and operate a one-in-one-out policy, but it's scary how it builds up.

The biggest switch for me was realising that if we spent £50 on something 5 years ago, it doesn't help us get any value from it by keeping it shoved in a cupboard. The money was spent a long time ago, so get rid.

I never worry about needing something that we get rid of either. Every few years I'll realise I binned something that I now need, but so what - it costs £30 to buy it again.

Another important mental switch to make is "things aren't memories". I have some key items that I've had forever and will never part with, but they are really special. But for everything else, getting rid of this random item that mum bought me, which isn't really to my taste, doesn't make love her any less.

My cat decided to make that test very, very real for us last week.

The 2 kids have been allowed to stay.

Rookie error...

(Darn, that was meant to quote the 'what if it was pooped on' post)

Set up a landing stage. (Clear room? / gazebo in the garden. Nowadays I always use our utility room floor - ex garage.)

Choose a room to sort and clear the floor. (Wouldn't bother sorting that stuff yet except for obvious rubbish.) Then work around the room, deciding / sorting / organising what stays in that room (cleaning happens later).

Move the stuff you know you want to keep, but not in that room, to your landing stage.

Review the stuff you moved off the floor - does it belong somewhere in the room you've just worked through (if so put it in its new home at that point, or does it go elsewhere? (I've bagged it up and placed it in the right area at this point,)

Generally try and think about where you do various activities and organise storage strategies for those areas as you go,

Put everything else in the skip. (When you've got a whole house to do you haven't got time to donate / recycle. - There are some skip companies that sort for you if that's easier to reconcile in your head.)

Move on to the next area.

Years ago I did bedrooms and bathrooms first, then kitchen and finally the lounge. I figured I'd sleep much better in a clear room and being able to get properly clean is a lovely feeling, but everyone's different. Kitchen has always been the centre of our houses and is in constant use, so made a big difference to how the day feels. Shed / garage / loft were last much much later.

Be prepared for your dh to find it really tough.

Thanks everyone. These are so helpful. I can’t wait to get started now but it could be a difficult process with my OH resisting all the way

Op @Clearoutthecraphow are you getting on?

Unfortunately my OH has brought a load more tat home so we are moving in the wrong direction so far 😭

If you ask someone with hoarding tendencies if something can go, their immediate emotional reaction will be no. So another thing we do is have a "candidates for going" box. Anyone can put anything in there, but the rule is nothing actually gets thrown out until the other person has agreed as well. It's really good for giving the more emotionally attached person time to think through whether they really need that item, at their own speed.

Personally I'm much more likely to say yes to something going if I've been able to come to that decision myself without someone standing there pressuring me. Pressure has completely the opposite effect: I feel then that things that might be important to me are in danger of vanishing by someone else's actions, so I revert to feeling like I urgently need to rescue them - completely the opposite of a decluttering mindset.

I’m not sure I can cope with living with all this junk anymore