To ask for your top decluttering strategies

[Clearoutthecrap]

My OH and I are disappearing under huge piles of clutter but we have finally agreed that we are going to hire skip(s) and be ruthless about getting rid of surplus stuff.
He prefers to keep all manner of rubbish just in case it could possible be useful at some stage in the future whereas I get depressed living in such chaos so we definitely need to try to meet somewhere in the middle.
The only potential strategy I have atm is to separate into 4 categories of keep, chuck, donate and sell.
Please can you share any tips or strategies which have helped you move from clutter and chaos to order and calm.

Personally, I would do some of the getting rid of whilst he’s not around. If there really are broken things that he keeps when the replacement has been bought then he’s going to be a nightmare to deal with. But like a child when you get rid of toys, the toy that they haven’t played with for two years becomes their favourite one ever as you look to get rid of it.

And if there’s one experience I do have - from renovating and putting stuff in storage - it’s that when you don’t see something for a while you often forget you ever had it.

I would forget about sell. Just donate!

@OrigamiOwlsyes this is what I mean! The route out of the house swiftly is a big part of the process

I’m quite excited to get started now! We are talking clutter on a mega scale though as we have sheds and outbuildings full of junk as well as the house. It’s true that the clutter expands to fill the available space. Some of the outbuildings are being demolished next year so the incentive is definitely there.

I like to gather up the same categories or groups of things. Then decide how many I need to keep. Duplicates not needed.

1. Gather up all coats and jackets. Keep 1 raincoat. 1 denim jacket. 1 winter coat. And so on.
2. Two or three sets of bed linen. 1 in use. 1 in wash. 1 possibly for emergency.
3. How many pots and pans? Rationalise.

The Stacy Solomon programme might provide some inspiration before a tidy up session. They use that approach too. And show the benefits of a useable and functional home.

Good luck.

I’d hate the blitz type method… I don’t think I could stand the mess! 😄 Too stressful and complicated. And I wouldn’t bother with a maybe pile or selling pile either - it’s just complicating the issue. Make a decision and either keep it or bin it. I did think briefly about selling some stuff recently but nope, I threw it away. Best to get it over and done with.

That would be my preference. It really isn’t worth the effort to sell things online for a few pounds but OH doesn’t see that.

I’m rubbish at getting rid of things and need a good clear out too. I saw an interesting new technique online the other day: ask yourself “Would I wash this if it was covered in poop?” If the answer is “no” then get rid! I’ve managed to both donate and bin a pile of stuff using this technique!

Stop buying storage. If you have nowhere to store stuff, you will stop buying more.

I’d love to do that. We probably don’t need 6 pairs of shears, particularly as none of them work properly 😢

For the stuff which you think is junk like broken electricals gather it all up and lay it on the lawn, ask him how long it'd take to mend, why hasn't it all been mended, why you need 3 broken kettles instead of 1, can he choose 3 things to keep to mend and get rid of the rest, etc.

It's much harder to justify when it's all together.

Oh gawd you are putting way too much emotion into this

You mentioned you have external storage full of items - do this in reverse:

Get a black bag and keep what you want - then hire an external contractor to clear out the rest and take it to the tip.

Do this when he is not there and don’t even tell him about it - how often does he visit these external buildings anyway?!

He wants a 4 bay cart lodge with storage above to replace the outbuilding that are being demolished. Am I fighting a losing battle?

I think you have to come to terms with the fact that occasionally you will throw something away that you will later wish you hadn't. It hurts and is annoying but is only a small minority of things thrown away and a price worth paying for decluttering.

I would also sack off the sell pile. Save yourself the time, feel altruistic and just donate it all to charity if you can afford to.

I think that would end our relationship.

Oh you have so much more patience than me, I could never!

I’d just get rid of it all and face the music afterwards if he wanted to argue about a load of old tat.

A lot of stuff he has been planning to sell for years is old tech. Is there any charities that accept that sort of stuff?

How to deal with someone who wants to keep 250 items because they MIGHT need one of them at some point in the distant future.

Get rid of them all, anyway, and if one day you need something you threw out, buy a new (or secondhand) one.

This is what I did and guess what? Five years later I still haven't needed any of the 200-plus items I threw out!

I wanted to add that the keeping something 'just in case' is a fallacy. Loads of clutter means it's hard to find things and chances are if you need another you just go out and buy a new one anyway!

That is so true. He has been known to spend literally all day looking for a particular type of screw or nail before giving up and buying what he needs. He also has whole sheds full of offcuts of wood but we never seem to have what we need for a project

I sympathise. My husband is a bit like this, and he’s in denial about it. I often think, if he dies before me, I’ll have to deal with all the crap that he’s accumulated (including a couple of broken kettles, funnily enough).

We need to form a support group. I bet it is mainly men who hoard all that type of junk

Dana K White (she has books, lots of you tube)

container concept is a good one to start with

I think that’s partly why I’m so ruthless now.

When my grandparents died it was left to me to clear the house. I can’t even begin to describe the volume of stuff they’d accumulated; the place was absolutely rammed, no floor space whatsoever and nothing was worth keeping. Bedrooms full of books and magazines, loft full of old electrical items, sheds full of rusty tools… it was a mammoth task, just never-ending.

And none of this stuff had ever been used… it all sat there forgotten for years, gathering dust, none of it helpful or useful. Just waiting for the day it all went in the skip. What a waste. I’d hate to have my children have that task when I go. The only thing I’ll have in my loft now is the Christmas tree.

Just done some huge culls to charity shops and emptied and got rid of 2 sets of storage drawers and it was soooo satisfying.
I also got rid of 2 bin bags filled with my toddlers toys and she has not remembered or asked for a single one of the toys since

I regularly declutter some items to sell on Vinted or marketplace but depending on time some things go straight to charity

to this day I’ve yet to even remember what I’ve got rid of

a clear wardrobe and cupboard etc where you can see the wood for the trees outweighs ‘maybe’ needing a spare salad spinner