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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU? Council repairs leaving my 86-year-old mum with nowhere suitable to live

157 replies

WhiteWinePls · 19/08/2025 18:41

I am my mum’s full-time carer. She is 86 and has lived in her council home for all of her life. She has agoraphobia. That home has now fallen into such a dangerous state that it is uninhabitable while major repairs are carried out — likely for around 6 months.

The council’s “solution” has been to offer temporary accommodation that is completely unsuitable for her, given her needs. My mum, who has paid rent faithfully for decades, is being left with nowhere safe to go. At her age, with her health, this upheaval feels cruel and frightening. They’ve adopted a ‘like it or lump it’ position with no negotiation.

I have managed to find a flat that would keep her safe and stable until she can return home. I can also stay with her to provide the full-time care she needs. The problem is that the landlord is asking for 6 months' rent up front plus a deposit, and I do not have that kind of money as I am a full-time carer.

AIBU to ask if anyone has advice on where to turn — such as charities that could help or schemes like Discretionary Housing Payments — I would be so grateful. Also has anyone ever tried setting up a fundraiser in this situation, and do you think this would be appropriate here?

Grateful for any advice. Thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
WhiteWinePls · 19/08/2025 20:25

She’s actually in hospital at the moment (24 hour suicide watch due to her distress about the housing situation). She might have to stay there until they fix the house.

OP posts:
PinkCampervan · 19/08/2025 20:26

Beyondburnout · 19/08/2025 20:11

It's an elderly woman were discussing with mental health needs. It's not a black and white situation.

Edited

Unfortunately, it is when it comes to temporary housing. You take what's offered or they discharge you from their care as voluntarily homeless. If it's unsuitable, you move in then argue about it's unsuitability.

Digdongdoo · 19/08/2025 20:34

What's wrong the temporary accommodation on offer OP?

PinkCampervan · 19/08/2025 20:36

WhiteWinePls · 19/08/2025 20:25

She’s actually in hospital at the moment (24 hour suicide watch due to her distress about the housing situation). She might have to stay there until they fix the house.

They won't keep her in for that I don't suppose, not when the council have offered to house her elsewhere. It's incredibly expensive to keep people in hospital. She'll end up in a care home if her needs have changed.

If they've asked you to leave, I don't think they're repairing the old place for her . She'll be rehoused elsewhere. At 86 with issues and needing 24/7 care, a care home is likely.

Although she's in hospital right now -

Accept the temporary accommodation.
Appeal it's unsuitability.
Sort out what's happening with her furniture (the council will put it in a skip (and possibly bill her for that) when the notice period ends.
Get her a care assessment with social services if this hasn't already been done.
Get onto her social worker if it has been done and update them on the current situation.
Bid on permanent housing for her weekly (she can always turn it down if she gets offered one but ends up going into a care home instead).

JenniferBooth · 19/08/2025 20:37

FKAT · 19/08/2025 19:32

Agree with the PPs. It's the tenant's responsibility to look after the house and that includes letting council officers and contractors in to update and repair. (Not relevant now obviously). My father refused admission to all council workers in his later years so left his estate with a big repair bill.

A new rental will also end her council tenancy.

That said, I have doubts about the good faith of this thread. Early mention of crowdfunder raises a red flag for me.

Edited

In my case i tried I live in a top floor flat and i was told that there is a wet patch on the bathroom ceiling of the flat underneath mine, So they needed access to both flats, This was in May. It was booked for 8 July Then they cancelled and rebooked for 16th July, They didnt turn up so it was booked again for 11th August, They came to do the job but the alcoholic in the flat underneath refused to answer his door. They spent an hour and a half here , he wouldnt answer his door they spent all that time trying to get him to do so. He was in because i could hear him moving around and flushing the loo.

Bingbangboo · 19/08/2025 20:40

I would be extremely wary of doing anything which could be construed as ending her Council tenancy. If you private rent another property, even temporarily, you are surely demonstrating that she can adequately house herself and doesn't need Council assistance.

edwinbear · 19/08/2025 20:45

Whatever the temporary accommodation is that’s been offered, it must be an improvement on where she was. Why do you think it’s unsuitable?

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 19/08/2025 20:50

You have been asked more than once, where do you live / where is your home.

Is the problem with the temp property is it is for your Mum only ?

as your previous thread mentions one of you sleeping in the bedroom and the other in the living room.
you also mention your mother living there her whole life - really. where did she live when she was bringing up you, and any siblings you may have.

At 86 I would guess she will be moved in sheltered housing or a care home
so where do you live ?
does the Council have a duty to provide a home for you ?

Barrenfieldoffucks · 19/08/2025 20:58

This makes no sense. This is a 1 bed that she has lived in all her life, where did you live growing up?

Presumably she has been offered accommodation for 1, and you want to move with her, hence declining it. But she is not defined as needing it, and currently only has a one bed, which is what is being replaced? But you want to be accommodated too, which they may not want to do because they have no requirement to house you, and don't want to set a precedent by doing so now in case you both insist you need something bigger when the temp accommodation is up?

PinkCampervan · 19/08/2025 20:59

I've read your other thread. It is as I suspected about the state of the place. It's appalling. Sorry you're having to put up with that. As a minimum move your bed from under that sagging ceiling part, but preferably sleep in the living room with your mum.

As it looks like you're also now homeless, you'll need to apply for temporary accommodation too. I suggest you be realistic about your mum's prospects of not going into a care home. Even with a long term hospital stay means-tested benefits stop after a few weeks. That probably includes carer's allowance too when the person you care for is the one in hospital. In about a month is the time companies start looking for seasonal workers to cover extra demands at Christmas. If you're about to lose your job as mum's carer I suggest you apply, it could lead to a permanent position if you're lucky (I'm assuming you're of working age and healthy). If you don't want temporary accommodation from the council, a job will also help make you a more favourable prospect for a private landlord.

PinkCampervan · 19/08/2025 21:04

This makes no sense. This is a 1 bed that she has lived in all her life, where did you live growing up?

They're in London. They've probably been there in the 1bed flat forever. There's a housing shortage. A 1bed can house two people. They're same sex assuming OP is female (she's going on a march for women so not an unnatural assumption). So the flat probably doesn't even qualify as overcrowded if her mum stayed single.

Summerathome · 19/08/2025 21:31

I have significant doubts about the veracity of this thread.
A hospital has placed an 86 year old on suicide watch due to her accommodation issues? Highly unlikely.
No.
mumsnet please intervene here!

Summerathome · 19/08/2025 21:34

Reported

Original poster
WhiteWinePls · 19/08/2025 21:45

@PinkCampervan it's not a 1 bed. It's just that a lot of the house is unusable.

OP posts:
Original poster
WhiteWinePls · 19/08/2025 21:46

@G0ldC01nTreasure , yes Mum gets AA - thank you!

OP posts:
AbitmoreBert · 19/08/2025 21:49

Having looked at the photos on your other thread I don’t understand how the property has got in that condition.

JDM625 · 19/08/2025 21:50

OP- its very difficult to follow because you aren't quoting the posts people are adding- just their username. Those of us trying to follow have to then scroll back pages to see what they asked. Can you please quote their whole question instead please.

Also- WHY is the council house unsuitable?

Original poster
WhiteWinePls · 19/08/2025 21:51

@Summerathome if you are in London, you are most welcome to come round to our house and have a look. That goes for anyone actually, as I am still living here.

OP posts:
G0ldC01nTreasure · 19/08/2025 21:51

If your DM has never been to the temporary accommodation how does she or you know that it is unsuitable ?

If she is currently in hospital

Original poster
WhiteWinePls · 19/08/2025 21:51

JDM625 · 19/08/2025 21:50

OP- its very difficult to follow because you aren't quoting the posts people are adding- just their username. Those of us trying to follow have to then scroll back pages to see what they asked. Can you please quote their whole question instead please.

Also- WHY is the council house unsuitable?

Sorry, I didn't realize! Will do that in future.

OP posts:
songbird3086 · 19/08/2025 21:52

If your mother moves out she should not have to pay rent on her property for the months it’s in repair. That should be written off ( I work in social housing )can she use that to compensate if someone can pay in the first instance.

however I’m sure what she pays is no where near what a flat will cost. I don’t know if any DHPs will cover if she’s been offered and ‘rejected ‘ a TA property. Can you try and escalate the matter to the ombudsman perhaps?

Coconutter24 · 19/08/2025 22:00

The council’s “solution” has been to offer temporary accommodation that is completely unsuitable for her, given her needs.

What is wrong with the temporary accommodation they have offered?

G0ldC01nTreasure · 19/08/2025 22:01

Suggest contacting "Shelter"
They advise on housing issues
But I do not know if that includes Council housing

AbitmoreBert · 19/08/2025 22:05

@WhiteWinePlswhat have the council offered and why is it unsuitable?