Help me plan my secret day off tomorrow.

[CHO0SE]

I have taken annual leave for the day.
My husband and kids don’t know, I know it might sound wrong but I need a break.
To put it mildly, it’s been the worst year of my life.
Anyway, I’ve booked a massage for the morning. I’ll probably go to the beach for a bit and find somewhere nice for lunch. what else shall I do?
Im so looking forward to it. Can’t do anything at home as husband and both teens will be there.
Thanks for any ideas
I’ll be in Shoreham area if anyone has any wise ideas for there or nearby but just anything really

It sounds like you need to take some days away so they can realise that you’re not always there/ available. Do you get the calls about sellotape etc when you’re working?

I really think it’s a sad state of affairs that you have to keep this secret. Is it because your husband would refuse to care for the kids if you have leisure time or your own sense of guilt?

Thanks All! Today is the day!

To answer some questions.
we don’t use location finding apps or have any of that turned on.
I am sure it would be ok for me to tell everyone but I am not. As I said, it has been a very bad year. My daughter has been in hospital for most of it and needs care at home. I feel like if I do this I will feel even a tiny bit renewed and ready to carry on with our quite difficult life.
My husband regularly goes out for the day at weekends. It’s just that it’s a work day.
Anyway I don’t know why I need to justify it! I just like that it’s my little secret day!
Lovely to hear some people inspired, hope you are booking those days today!

He wouldn’t refuse. He’s a lovely man who has also had a hard year. It’s my guilt

Great tips!

Lovely idea. Maybe for next time!

Oh well. I’m not

Enjoy!

I like this idea for next time!

I would just lie on the beach reading, have a mooch around some nice shops if you have any nearby. Sit at a cafe undisturbed. I

I love a secret day off. I have one booked for the first day back to school. For me, I don't tell my husband because I feel like theres then a pressure that I put on myself to be productive. I, like many I'm sure, usually put myself to the bottom of the priorities pile but a secret dsy off is like giving myself permission to rest. I usually read, because that's the best way for my brain to switch off. A secret day off every now and again (every few months maybe) makes me a much better mother and wife!

Enjoy your day!

Stop fannying around on MN and get out there!!

Personally I'd add an art gallery or good museum. If there's one that's fully or partially outdoors then that's a lovely sunny afternoon activity in my book (for example the Yorkshire Sculpture Park or Barbara Hepworth garden, although I know they're the wrong areas).

If you enjoy charity shops I know Lewes had some nice ones and I seem to think Shoreham had some. If I remember correctly rightly there is a nice stroll along an old railway line at Shoreham by a river.

Don't make the day too busy! Just bring something to read or listen to and find a nice spot to sit and just be.

And don't feel guilty! I do this too when I know I am heading towards a wall.

Enjoy 😊

Have fun don't forget to come back later and tell us what you did.

Have a great time op.

Oh I used to love a secret day off! I wasn't at the beach, but mine used to be going to a random city in train distance, mooch, nice lunch, galleries and museums. I've booked theatre matinées and gone to the cinema. I got "caught" once when an imax ticket fell out of my bag. DH just laughed.
Hope you have a lovely day and the rest of your year improves massively.

I hope you have a good day whatever you do OP, it sounds like it’s needed.

I don’t think you’ll feel renewed and refreshed without some life changes though, and that means having time to yourself that your partner is on board with and facilitates regularly, not one day that has to be kept secret. You shouldn’t need to feel like you have to go about it like this.

The thing is if I tell my DH I'm off then I suddenly find the day gets filled with 'oh, can you just...drop this at the tip/pick up this from x/pop to the shops/wash the dog bedding...'.

(To be fair I do the same to him if I find he's got a day off and I haven't).

So a day when he leaves for work and assumes I am too and comes back and assumes I've been at work I'm not going to necessarily disabuse him of that.

I’m away lots, mostly for work and they respect that entirely and are very good at not disturbing me.

but if I’m not at work (or occasionally if they consider my work event/trip to be more of a jolly) then I’m generally considered fair game, despite the fact I might be in a different country; they have an entirely capable competent father somewhere in the house; and that two of them are in fact adults!

I try to remind myself that they won’t always want to message me a million times a day and enjoy the contact whilst it lasts. Even if it’s to ask where the sellotape is when I’m 6,000km away in another time zone 🙄

For me, I don't tell my husband because I feel like theres then a pressure that I put on myself to be productive. I, like many I'm sure, usually put myself to the bottom of the priorities pile but a secret dsy off is like giving myself permission to rest

@QuaverQuanta this is perfectly summed up. if I told DH I was having a day off he’d think it was a great idea and would make sure everything was taken care of and suggest cooking/going out/take out so I could suck up every bit of relaxation but I would feel that I should have been more productive and got more stuff ticked off the to do list

Mine would try and take the day off to join me. That's the main reason I keep it secret 🤣

I had a lovely day! Shopped for new bras first thing (only had one that fits!)
Then had the most amazing massage
Then had lovely lunch and read my book with a pot of tea
Then lay on the beach, more reading my book and a swim in the sea.
Back to cafe for another pot of tea and cake (wouldn’t have done this but there were a few suggestions for it and it was lovely

I’m ready for anything now!

It was so nice

Thanks to the people who said not to try and do too much

I really just lazed around reading a book (haven’t managed to read a book in two years and I’m a third of the way through this!)

Secret days off are amazing

That sounds amazing. So glad that you managed to have your secret day off. Hats off to you op. 💐💐💐