To think girls shouldn’t wear sandals in the park?

[Canyoucreateoneplease]

It’s been a beautiful day here so I was at the park. DS was on the climbing which is huge, designed for older kids, not toddlers.

There were so many girls crying and panicking getting across it because their sandals were getting trapped. Their feet were sliding out of them because of their angles, and their dresses were hindering them.

AIBU to think girls who are going to park should be put in sensible trainers and trousers? The boys were managing with ease because they were suitably dressed. A substantial amount of the girls were struggling because of what they were wearing.

When people say that something as morally neutral as Crocs should be banned (where risk assessment ought to be the sole responsibility of the wearer—and with “bad taste” clearly not a valid argument 😉), I can’t help but imagine all the other things I like(d) to do that would surely end up banned on some equally batshit grounds in a society that tolerates Crocs prohibitions 🫣😜. Thinks fondly of wide-leg trousers with skirts and dresses, germknödel for breakfast, Spliff Naked Wednesdays, and the Oxford comma

Are you serious? You honestly don’t know the history of clothing inhibiting women? Clothing has been used to control and confine women for hundreds if not thousands of years.

Corsets
Hobble skirts
Crinolines
Petticoats
Foot binding
Gigot sleeves

High heels
Flimsy sandals…

It’s as old as time. Women making the choice to wear some of these clothes, as I myself do, is one thing, but get your daughters some proper shoes for the park.

Mine wears what she wants, sorry.
She wouldn’t choose to wear a swimsuit in winter, as she’d be cold. She’s not a toddler nor is she an imbecile.
To you it’s obvious that sandals make climbing harder. To others, it doesn’t hinder at all.
You haven’t ‘stated the obvious’ - you’ve stated your view and told everyone they SHOULD do what you think.
Mind your own business.

Why is it the shoes that girls (no need for the children part) must have a choice over when you wouldn’t allow them to choose to do a variety of other stupid stuff kids would love to do?

If I recall rightly my DD was more likely to choose wellies than sandals, with a frilly cotton sundress which she wore year round. Which are equally inappropriate really, though less of a gender issue. I still am not convinced that not insisting she dress for optimum performance for every park visit was the massive parenting fail you think, and in fact she goes to the climbing wall every week (still dressed inappropriately imo in jeans and docs but meh)

Absolute rubbish.

Kids in the UK wear school uniforms and most of them understand that they have to abide by the school rules. However, there's choice within that. DD would hate to wear trousers at school and she's learned from experience that due to her waist, skirts slide down a lot, so she chooses to wear pinafores in winter and summer dresses in summer. She usually also chooses to wear shorts underneath her summer dresses.

She's not an idiot. She knows that it would be too cold to go out in a swimming costume in winter, and that she'd be hot if she wore a fur-lined coat in summer. It's an absurd proposition to ask if I'd "allow" it because why on earth would the issue ever arise? If it did, I'd be worried about her sanity and clothing choices would be the least of my worries.

However, if she decides to wear a bobble hat in August, or a strappy sundress in December, I'll say, "You might be a bit cold/hot in that," and then continue with our day. The magical thing about clothes is that if you get cold, you can put something warm on and if you get hot you can take something off.

It's pretty rare for children to die of cold or heat because they didn't choose to put on a coat that was available to them or take off a hat.

You allowing a child to wear flimsy shoes to run, climb etc. is simply daft and lacking all common sense.

Well, her feet aren’t going to slide out of wellies and they tend to have grips.

You're blowing this issue out of all proportion. Suspending disbelief for a moment and assuming you're not using a little poetic licence and that you really did see multiple girls in flimsy sandals crying on a climbing frame, what you saw is extremely unusual.
Most girls don't wear flimsy sandals to the park. Those that do, will typically at the age you describe not have been 'put' into them by force. They will have chosen to wear them, and will cope, possibly with some inconvenience that serves as a life lesson, but almost always without crying from distress.
The reasons that girls underperform against boys when it comes to certain physical activities are complex and varied. Getting yourself into this much of a tizz over a couple of girls wearing impractical sandals is the sex inequalities version of worrying about a mouse in the kitchen when there's a tiger in the hall.

I didn’t realise you were carrying around appropriate shoes in case she changed her mind.

It’s not unusual. Next time you’re at a busy park, look at the shoes and the corresponding difficulties.

You’re dictating to your children how they move through their lives. Stupid and lacking all decent parenting.
Kids need freedom to express themselves, and experience of decision-making.

I have seen in parks many boys of different ages wearing pool flip flops half broken. And swimming Soo many times.
You can’t kick a ball or climb appropriately. Yet no one makes a fuss about what boys wear, because let them be boys.
If parents and children agree that what they wear is suitable, whether we agree or not, is not our business.
I agree there are gender inequalities in clothing, but goes both ways. Why boy’s clothes over the age of 2 are predominantly aggressive? And in dark colours or plain, like a boy has to display certain preferences surely. Dinosaurs with big open mouths, cars chasing, monsters and so on. Despicable that gender stereotypes replicate from such a young age. And the fact that we say all girls sandals are flimsy therefore they shouldn’t wear it I still think is another way of replicating gender stereotypes. Maybe there should be an offer of beer quality products, more gender neutral for both sexes and equal practicality in clothes and shoes.

I really don’t agree with you!
Some decisions must be made with our adult/parent brain, if there isn’t one present, (such as what I’m reading here) please at least fake it until you make it with trying to be a good adult or a parent.

Hold on; how old are we talking here?
If you are talking about 2 or 3 year-olds, I’d agree with you.
8 or 9? They need some autonomy!

Still here thinking you're the only parent who takes their kids to the park regularly. I just think it's really quite amazing that all those of us that have girls have managed so many park trips and NEVER seen this happen once, and yet you saw it so many times on this one park trip. All I can say is, I'm glad my daughter isn't so flummoxed by a sandal and if her shoe ever did get caught on a climbing frame she would be bright enough to problem solve it.

The only difficulty I see girls getting into regularly is those who are afraid to jump onto the fireman's pole to slide down or go high up on the climbing frame. It is as if someone has made them think there's something unsafe about play equipment.

For the avoidance of doubt, here are some situations when I might strongly advise or even insist on what I consider practical clothing for my child:

• A day out in the Arctic Circle
• A hike up a mountain
• Bouldering
• Forest school
• Camping in very cold or wet conditions
• Horse riding

And here are some situations where I wouldn't:

• Playing in a purpose built park with rubber flooring
• Soft play
• A wander in the English countryside or town

Funnily enough, on the rare occasions I have strongly advised certain clothes, DD has never pushed back, because she knows I'm not prone to getting hysterical about clothing in perfectly safe environments. And she doesn't get worried about taking part in these activities because I haven't made out like their some sort of perilous situation that could be fatal if she's not wearing "sensible shoes."

Fucking rude. Obviously some decisions need to be made by an adult. Not every decision on every occasion. I went camping with a bunch of ten year olds recently and there was quite a spectrum of parenting styles on show. Some of these kids were still being helicoptered about what they wore, ate, even what colour materials they chose for a craft project to get the best effects. Overall these are great parents I know well but my DDs are more self sufficient than most of these kids. There's room for more than one approach in this world

Yes within a sensible range.

Flip flops for swimming is a bit different.

Maybe you’ve never noticed.

Surely the aim by ten is to get our girls to know which shoes are appropriate for a park?!

My five year old knows when it’s time for wellies, walking shoes, trainers etc.

Exactly! God forbid a girl wants to wear what she likes, make a mistake, or just be a bit impractical but have cool feet once in a while. Her sporty future must be doomed. DOOMED, I tell thee!

‘Hysterical’?

Why not just tell your daughter to wear appropriate shoes?

Like the boys manage to.

That sensible range MUST include a purpose built play park.