My child having no father is going to affect him?

[ForFunWriter]

Short Term relationship and had a child. I was too far along and had found out his lies, mostly about money and got sick of him lying about ex. He walked and I’ve not seen him again.

I never met his family and neither did he meet mine. They aren’t interested.

My family are estranged from me mostly. my parents love their grand baby but are 70s so not much longer. My siblings have bullied me a lot and I felt emotionally neglected. Tried nhs therapy.

I have realised that my son isn’t being set up for the best start in life and I wish he didnt have to suffer. I find it hard to make friends so no one else to help. I hope he has a good life because I feel like I can’t give him much.

Will he always think he’s missed out?

I missed how old your son is but that will change when he gets older and gets invited to birthday parties, starts school, and makes friends.

Having a good relationship with my neighbours has been fab for me! They feed our cats when we go on holiday, a few weeks ago dug up a dead bush in my front garden when I couldn’t, and take in deliveries for me. I wouldn’t ask them to babysit, but now my eldest is 10 and coming home from school on his own, I know I can tell him that he can always knock on their door in an emergency.

If you make the effort to build your own community now you will reap the rewards later. I’m not saying it’s always possible to have good relationships with neighbours, it’s just an example of how you can make connections which will benefit you long term.

I was raised in a dysfunctional family where my dad formed no attachment to any of his three children. He mostly ignored us. I’m not sure he’s ever asked me a question.

im convinced this was infinitely more damaging than if he hadn’t been around at all, which I would have preferred.

There are many ways for children to have less than optimum conditions in which to grow up, and many are worse than yours.

Try not to worry, but DO take great care with your choice of any future partner.

I think it depends on the child tbh. I know a fair few people who had an absent father and how it impacts them varies from not caring in the slightest to it greatly impacting their mental health.

Or just be selective on who you date. My mom
married and I am glad she did. He was an another exceptionally positive male role
model for my brothers and, selfishly, it means I don’t have to worry about my mother being lonely as an adult and have to spend extra time being her pseudocompanion as friends of mine have had to.

Where is the data that says children raised with a step-parent have the worse outcomes?

I'm a lone parent in the north west, living away from my family, no contact with ex, and didn't have friends when I moved here.
Things I did:
Joined local (street) WhatsApp group and put a message out saying if anyone has similar aged kids let's meet up, persevered until 2 separate families said yes, then asked again and again to meet up, we're now friends.
Joined local single parents group and went along to meet ups, made one good friend that way.
Joined bumble bff and made a friend through there.
Joined meet up groups and went to several events until I'd made a friend there.
The key is to put yourself out there and basically hound other lonely people until they become your friends!
If you don't have childcare, do you have nursery staff you can ask for out of hours babysitting?
If you have neighbours, do they have teens you can pay for a couple of hours?

I've now been in my area for 5 years and we have a circle of friends that my kids and I can count on. I honestly never thought I'd have that, and it is more valuable to us than a shit dad. We always have people around us and helping us out, and my kids are watching them and learning from my relationships with them.

You cant know how it will effect him.
My dh didnt have a dad . He left when his mum was pregnant and he had a great childhood. Very happy . Really close to his mum.
Until she remarried when he was 10 and his step dad was horrible. Very strick . Didn't have any kids himself but took it upon himself to constantly teach my dh lessons often using violence. And my dh was and always has been a lovely quiet person. Never in trouble at school.
He just disliked sharing his new wife with anyone. So eventually he left home at 17.

Getting married was my solution. I hated being a single parent and wanted my child to have a father. And he’s the kindest and best of men and a wonderful father, so I’m glad I did.