Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I getting old or is the world becoming more inconsiderate?

110 replies

GeorgeA12 · 16/08/2025 18:47

Just been on holiday in UK desperately trying to relax from busy year. I just found people being so inconsiderate to their fellow human beings, was struggling to tolerate it all. Some examples:

  1. Person on the train talking loudly on the phone about her upcoming party. The rest of the people in the carriage pretty silent. Why couldn't she know how disruptive she was?
  1. I was kayaking in the sea. I kid you not, a person comes into the sea talking loudly making a video call for ten minutes.
  1. A family trying to make their kid go in the sea. The kid was screaming, not wanting to go in the sea. Went on for twenty mins. Was awful to hear.
  1. Took a bus ride. Walked towards the back of the bus and their is an aggressive looking dog sitting on a seat!
  1. Another bus ride and someone talking loudly about their friends shitting habits for all to hear.
  1. Took my mum out for a nice meal to a restaurant. Half way through the meal a family comes in with a dog. The restaurant is now dog friendly apparently. Sorry I don't want to eat my meal with a dog nearby without being told first.
  1. Another cafe. Three dogs in one person letting one of their dogs paw on the seats.
  1. Having a meal in a pub with my daughter. Parents letting their kids use their phones to watch videos for all to hear. Had to move.
  1. Coming home on the train. Someone playing radio 2 loudly on their phone speakers. Why not wear headphones, I dont want to listen to someone else's noise.

I'm getting to the point where I wish I was born in the early1900s, to avoid all the stress technology brings. I'm 50, just want peace and consideration is it to much to ask from others when out in public? Or am I just not used to how the world operates now?

OP posts:
GeorgeA12 · 17/08/2025 14:46

heartsinvisiblefury · 17/08/2025 13:07

I’d also start up a bus, rail and airline too - same rules. Travel with us if you’re not a twat.

Just have one 'Noisy inconsiderate carriage', bung them in there. All the rest of us sit in designated quiet carriages'.

OP posts:
HeadDeskHeadDesk · 17/08/2025 14:50

Yes, I think it’s since Brexit and the Pandemic. People are more siloed.

There may, just may be a pandemic hangover from this, but Brexit? 😂I've heard Brexit blamed for plenty of mad things, including the Ukraine war, but people talking too loudly on their phones and putting their dogs and their feet on train seats? Don't be so daft.

People as individuals may be more siloed, but as a nation we are not remotely isolated or 'siloed' in any way whatsoever. The world has never seemed smaller or more accessible to us, and we have never been more accessible to the rest of the world, that is certainly very clear indeed. We have never been more inhabited by foreigners from every corner of the globe than we are now. The abject failure of rapid onset multiculturalism and the obvious lack of a proper integration and assimilation may well have siloed some people, though. There's a word for that. It's ghettoisation. But that's hardly the fault of Brexit either.

I think people are just ruder, more selfish and more entitled than they used to be, for a multitude of very complex reasons.

DeLaRuiz · 17/08/2025 14:56

EsmaCannonball · 17/08/2025 14:10

Apparently the police are looking to possibly charge the men who tackled the verbally aggressive, deranged flasher on the tube the other day. That pretty much sums up everything wrong in the country.

I've taken to wearing headphones and listening to audiobooks purely to drown out the noise of everyone else on public transport. Some people are so loud it doesn't always work. There was one woman switching her water bill to a new property on the bus a few weeks ago and the entire bus heard everything a fraudster or burglar would need to know about her, including all her bank details.

Nobody queues for a bus anymore. It's a scrum and a free-for-all. The concept of leaving the seats at the front for the elderly or disabled isn't upheld. Young, fit blokes are totally unembarrassed about taking up an entire seat at the front as a pensioner with a Zimmer frame struggles past them.

The thing that is really bothering me at the moment is walking. E-scooters, bikes, e-bikes, motorbikes; you might as well be walking on the road, not the pavement. You can't just walk along lost in your own thoughts, you have to be permanently vigilant and it's very annoying. I have never once seen the police do anything about this.

Dogs in restaurants doesn't bother me. In fact, I'd take my chances on a red setter serving up my food over a disgruntled waiter who hates humanity.

I am really hoping the police don’t charge those men in the tube. We really need there to be a whiff of at least some potential repercussion for anti social crap on tube trains. It would be beneficial if the chancers thought they might get beaten up, so best leave innocent people alone.

GeorgeA12 · 17/08/2025 14:56

verycloakanddaggers · 17/08/2025 14:17

You've made this up. It was about 5ft 8in in the 70s.

The height restriction was removed because it prevented good candidates from serving.

Ok sorry, 5ft 8 then but I knew there was a policy to make police officers stand out.

OP posts:
DeLaRuiz · 17/08/2025 14:57

GeorgeA12 · 17/08/2025 14:46

Just have one 'Noisy inconsiderate carriage', bung them in there. All the rest of us sit in designated quiet carriages'.

I would love this SO much! A firm rule that all you needing to watch TikTok without headphones have to sit together! 🥂👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻🥂

DeLaRuiz · 17/08/2025 14:58

GeorgeA12 · 17/08/2025 14:56

Ok sorry, 5ft 8 then but I knew there was a policy to make police officers stand out.

I thought it was 6ft too! Was it a clever ploy to make us believe all the police were burly giants!

GeorgeA12 · 17/08/2025 15:01

DeLaRuiz · 17/08/2025 14:57

I would love this SO much! A firm rule that all you needing to watch TikTok without headphones have to sit together! 🥂👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻🥂

Do you remember the smoking carriage they used to have 😂. Would be a similar carriage to that. Just constant tinny noise from speakers and people speaking loudly trying to hear themselves above everyone else 😂

OP posts:
GeorgeA12 · 17/08/2025 15:04

At my annual daughter's dance show, it was strictly no mobile phones taking photos. You guessed it, an arsehole in the row in front kept putting his phone up to take pictures. I got fed up with it, and the light distracting me. I told him politely to put his phone down and was called a twat. Unnerved me.

OP posts:
JLou08 · 17/08/2025 15:13

I think you're getting old and have some rose tinted glasses.
Memories from my childhood include feeling sick when people started smoking on the bus or in cafes.
Walking through town on a Saturday afternoon and there being drunk and rowdy people, I did see a few fights on the street. Once seen a couple sprawled on a car bonnet doing god knows what.
People regularly putting their feet up on busses and trains. Standing when people had put their bags on seats.
People walking round with loud portable boom boxes.

PaddlingSwan · 17/08/2025 15:18

There is a lovely, hand-written notice outside a small winebar in Mainz, Germany. It translates as "We have no wifi, you should just talk to one another."

Mermaidsarereal · 17/08/2025 15:41

I'm finding it's older people watching loud videos on their phones these days rather than young ones... every morning on the bus to work an older woman is watching videos on loud speaker for the entire journey.

Dappy777 · 17/08/2025 15:42

It’s always so hard to assess these kinds of things. I’m in my late 40s now and am very wary of falling into the “everything was better in the old days” trap. It wasn’t.

But…I do think there has been a decline in manners. Looking back to the 1980s, parents taught their children how to behave. When I went to play at another child’s house, for example, I had to say “thank you for having me” to her mum. And I was taught how to hold my knife and fork, not to talk with my mouth full, not to interrupt people, and so on…little things. Today, parents encourage their kids to be assertive and pushy and aggressive instead. Just a few thoughts:

  1. The world is so unbearably crowded. In 1960 there were three billion humans. Today there are eight billion. I read the other day that Africa’s population is going to double - right in the middle of climate change. We’re meant to hit ten billion somewhere around 2050. When you cram too many animals into a single cage in the Zoo they attack one another, same with humans. If you could wave a wand and reduce the U.K. population from 65 million to 30 million, everywhere would feel calmer and quieter, and that would be reflected in people’s behaviour.

  2. Thatcherism. She encouraged greed and aggression and competition. People see others as rivals or competitors they need to beat/outdo. That wasn’t the case in the 1950s and 1960s.

  3. The end of the class system. For all its faults, the old British class system did at least encourage good manners. The ritualised manners and ritualised ways of talking have gone (I can hear my grandfather at the local am dram club saying “good evening Mrs Smith, what a pleasure to see you, do please take a seat, may I take your coat” etc).

dizzydizzydizzy · 17/08/2025 15:56

Woman with her smelly yappy dog often goes into my favourite cafe the same morning as me. The other week, she had a FORTY-minute speaker phone call with her son. I did challenge her about it and she said it was exceptional circumstances because he had just arrived in Australia. No apology. There was only her, me and her dog in there and I was trying to have some peace and quiet, read a book etc. I’m not at all keen on her dog and would rather she didn’t bring him
into the cafe but the loud phone call - absolutely totally inconsiderate.

HeadDeskHeadDesk · 17/08/2025 16:09

GeorgeA12 · 17/08/2025 15:01

Do you remember the smoking carriage they used to have 😂. Would be a similar carriage to that. Just constant tinny noise from speakers and people speaking loudly trying to hear themselves above everyone else 😂

Well we do have designated QUIET carriages on trains, but frankly that's the wrong way around. They should all be assumed to be quiet unless it's a designated NOISY FUCKERS carriage.

EuclidianGeometryFan · 17/08/2025 16:13

Don't get me started on the litter.
Piles and piles, all the road verges covered. Take-away containers chucked out of car windows because people don't want their cars to smell after they have finished eating on the move.
Used nappies lying around in car parks - parents have pulled in, changed baby, and dumped the nappy because they don't want it in their precious car.
Dog shit in plastic bags hanging from the gate between the country walk and the car park (just why? if it wasn't bagged it would at least biodegrade, but now there is a plastic problem as well as a shit problem).

I remember when the government used to pay for 'public information' adverts on the telly instructing people how to behave in a civilised society.

DeLaRuiz · 17/08/2025 16:16

Mermaidsarereal · 17/08/2025 15:41

I'm finding it's older people watching loud videos on their phones these days rather than young ones... every morning on the bus to work an older woman is watching videos on loud speaker for the entire journey.

That’s interesting. So when you say “ older people” ie plural? I’ve never seen an older person doing this. Has anyone on the bus ever said anything to her? Presumably she’s irritating anyone who isn’t wearing headphones.

GeorgeA12 · 17/08/2025 16:18

HeadDeskHeadDesk · 17/08/2025 16:09

Well we do have designated QUIET carriages on trains, but frankly that's the wrong way around. They should all be assumed to be quiet unless it's a designated NOISY FUCKERS carriage.

I've got news for you. LNER have changed their QUIET carriage to now......a QUIETER carriage. I asked the guard why the change and he said that people were complaining that people were talking loudly in the QUIET carriage and that it was becoming difficult to police. So the policy has been changed to a QUIETER carriage, so no mobile phones, laptops etc only and you are allowed to talk loudly. Kinda defeats the purpose.

OP posts:
EsmaCannonball · 17/08/2025 16:29

Another annoying aspect of this is that if you are a non-threatening looking person you get ordered around and challenged in public all the time, even if you are not doing anything wrong. I've been told off in the quiet carriage even though the only noise I've made is my phone buzzing as I've turned it off. (The same men who made a comment to me said nothing when a group of noisy youths got on.) People feel confident to say to me 'I hope you're going to pick that up,' or to shout 'Oi, pick that up!' from cars, when my dog goes to the toilet in public, even though I am just about to do so. If I've ever accidentally jumped a queue I've been put straight immediately.

I wouldn't bother doing something like pushing through the barriers at a tube station because I know I am exactly the sort of person the TfL workers would feel comfortable stopping. It's that sense that not only are there no consequences for bad behaviour but the more unpleasant, aggressive and intimidating you are the more you get rewarded under the current state of affairs.

User32459 · 17/08/2025 16:37

GeorgeA12 · 17/08/2025 16:18

I've got news for you. LNER have changed their QUIET carriage to now......a QUIETER carriage. I asked the guard why the change and he said that people were complaining that people were talking loudly in the QUIET carriage and that it was becoming difficult to police. So the policy has been changed to a QUIETER carriage, so no mobile phones, laptops etc only and you are allowed to talk loudly. Kinda defeats the purpose.

It's impossible for people to be quiet for 5 minutes.

verycloakanddaggers · 17/08/2025 16:37

DeLaRuiz · 17/08/2025 16:16

That’s interesting. So when you say “ older people” ie plural? I’ve never seen an older person doing this. Has anyone on the bus ever said anything to her? Presumably she’s irritating anyone who isn’t wearing headphones.

It is a small percentage of people across all ages.

It might help to have an ad campaign because most people are not trying to annoy, they're just oblivious.

ThreeLocusts · 17/08/2025 16:53

Hi OP, I'm mid-fifties so liable to find things to complain about in 'the youth of today' - but I think this isn't just a question of different mores among young people. There definitely are changes, especially the much-mentioned forcing others to listen you your music/youtube video/telephone conversation, and it's not just young people doing it.

Pandemic hangover is plausible, but I suspect the main issue is smartphone- and social media-related. The constant availability of certain kinds of stimulus via smartphones makes people more dependent on them, and at the same time less attentive to what is going on among human beings around them, as distinct from going on on their screens.

It's often grating to be exposed to the resultant noises, but what I find most disconcerting about it is the self-involvedness of the people who do this, and the coarsening of social mores that these actions represent. It feels as if people really are becoming less able to see situations from others' points of view and see others' needs as equal to their own. Makes me wonder whether the term 'brain rot' is more than a joke.

ForestAtTheSea · 17/08/2025 17:30

"I’ve started this hierarchy in my head, I’ll always move out the way of little kids, (...)
@shiverm

I have a similar hierarchy to you, about for whom I move and whom I expect to be aware of their surroundings, too and take turns.

However, I started to notice that when there are little kids with their parents, often parents are not explaining the concepts of society to their them. They expect everyone to move for their kids and them (as they walk behind them), even if the oncoming person is mobility-impaired, older or otherwise incapacitated. They wouldn't make their kids aware of someone oncoming with crutches, for example.

I don't expect the kids to know this automatically, but I expect the parents to start teaching them.

My parents were constantly telling me to look around, be aware, don't stand in the way, don't run other people over, grow an awareness for what is around. I don't hear that anymore often. Neither do I hear parents to tell their children to go off scooters in supermarkets - I wouldn't have been allowed to do that. There was one exception last year where it happened, but it's rare.

So if we always make space for kids but their parents never teach them that they will not be the only ones on the streets, I fear they will grow into adults with the same habits.
Now I differentiate further, for children under 4-5 I will move, or for those that learn to ride a bike and similar or are otherwise too little to understand, but for older ones it will depend on the situation.

In doubt, especially when they have parents with them who could say something but don't, one can always just stop and stand, of course not bumping into anyone, but they will have to walk around if they don't become aware of their surroundings.

myglowupera · 17/08/2025 17:36

GeorgeA12 · 17/08/2025 10:10

@myglowupera yes that would do my head in.

@Chachie I've been experiencing in shops when I'm looking at shelves people just coming right in front of me to look blocking my view. I then make a point of standing right back and waiting for them. The inconsideration nowadays is staggering!

She then started saying something to her teenage daughter behind me about how “Dotty had to move because that girl got upset”.

No. Her turn had finished and other children wanted a turn so that’s why she had to move.

Notmycircusnotmyotter · 17/08/2025 17:39

The dog points are weird but tourists YANBU

HeadDeskHeadDesk · 17/08/2025 17:58

EuclidianGeometryFan · 17/08/2025 16:13

Don't get me started on the litter.
Piles and piles, all the road verges covered. Take-away containers chucked out of car windows because people don't want their cars to smell after they have finished eating on the move.
Used nappies lying around in car parks - parents have pulled in, changed baby, and dumped the nappy because they don't want it in their precious car.
Dog shit in plastic bags hanging from the gate between the country walk and the car park (just why? if it wasn't bagged it would at least biodegrade, but now there is a plastic problem as well as a shit problem).

I remember when the government used to pay for 'public information' adverts on the telly instructing people how to behave in a civilised society.

I remember the public info adverts too and I'm pushing 60. I remember them from the 70s. I don't know if British people were just terrible litter bugs before that, or whether the campaign was needed to coincide with the wave of immigration that was happening in the post war years. I've lived overseas and travelled fairly extensively in developing countries where people have a very different attitude to things like littering, environemental health and hygiene and the environment in general, even today. Even things like using parks or wasteground as open air public toilets seems perfectly normal and acceptable in some countries. And as for the state of the beaches and the rivers, good grief.

Certainly growing up throughout the 70s and 80s and then being an adult with children in the 90s and 00s, I don't remember there being a huge problem with litter or anything like the general chaos and deterioration in the social fabric of this country. There have alwas been anti-social idiots and violent crime, but by and large most people were sensible and respectful. But in recent years it just feels like everything has gone to shit. I know people will immediately blame Tory austerity, but that can't be responsible for the way people choose to behave. I think it cannot possibly be a coincidence that this change has happened in line with the mass immigration of the last 10-15 years. It's been a ticking time bomb creeping up on us, but now it seems we've reached peak Shit Tip everywhere we look. Some places are turning into shanty towns. I NEVER dreamt I'd see that in this country.

I'm sure the litter thing has a lot to do with the proliferation of chicken shops and fast food joints and vapes, but I honestly think it's a cultural thing and we are just dealing with millions of newish people who just don't see the big deal in dumping crap everywhere. (Sometimes it's literally crap as well.)

The fact that it's rare to see council street sweepers these days doesn't help. And bin collections are becoming so infrequent and difficult to manage that frustrated people will just dump their black bag stuff anywhere if they can't wait two weeks and have no more space for it in their own bin. Especially if they don't have a garden or a car to go to the tip with it.

Equally, for every idiot like me who runs myself ragged trying to keep up with what I can and cannot recycle and jumping whenever the council says jump over changing rules, I look around in some areas and it seems every other fucker just chucks everything including glass and mattresses and dead cats in any old bin, or on the street and the council has no choice but deal with it if they can't work out what belongs to who. Meanwhile someone doing their best like me gets their black bin uncollected one week because the lid won't fully shut, or because I didn't wheel it quite close enough to the kerb and the bin men can't possibly be expected to go three steps to retrieve it. It makes me rage. I think this is why good people have just started to give up and not give a shit any more. They've had enough of paying more and more and getting less and less, while other people make no effort and get everything for nothing.

We were driving down a local A road recently and there were two men strimming and mowing the grass verge beside the road. It was absolutely FULL of litter, plastic bottles, fast food cartons and they were completely ignoring all that. Just strimming round it and through it. Not their job, obviously. They were only paid to strim grass, not actually clear up the area. Hmm But how ridiculous. It would have taken a bit longer and cost a bit more to clear the litter at the same time, but it would be far cheaper to make that all one job, than to make it a separate job entirely and then the highways agency say they can't afford to employ a second team to do it. It just exasperates me that absolutely nothing fucking well works like it should in this country any more.

Right, I've got myself all cross now. I'm going out to the pub for dinner to cheer myself up.