Am I getting old or is the world becoming more inconsiderate?

[GeorgeA12]

Just been on holiday in UK desperately trying to relax from busy year. I just found people being so inconsiderate to their fellow human beings, was struggling to tolerate it all. Some examples:

1. Person on the train talking loudly on the phone about her upcoming party. The rest of the people in the carriage pretty silent. Why couldn't she know how disruptive she was?

1. I was kayaking in the sea. I kid you not, a person comes into the sea talking loudly making a video call for ten minutes.

1. A family trying to make their kid go in the sea. The kid was screaming, not wanting to go in the sea. Went on for twenty mins. Was awful to hear.

1. Took a bus ride. Walked towards the back of the bus and their is an aggressive looking dog sitting on a seat!

1. Another bus ride and someone talking loudly about their friends shitting habits for all to hear.

1. Took my mum out for a nice meal to a restaurant. Half way through the meal a family comes in with a dog. The restaurant is now dog friendly apparently. Sorry I don't want to eat my meal with a dog nearby without being told first.

1. Another cafe. Three dogs in one person letting one of their dogs paw on the seats.

1. Having a meal in a pub with my daughter. Parents letting their kids use their phones to watch videos for all to hear. Had to move.

1. Coming home on the train. Someone playing radio 2 loudly on their phone speakers. Why not wear headphones, I dont want to listen to someone else's noise.

I'm getting to the point where I wish I was born in the early1900s, to avoid all the stress technology brings. I'm 50, just want peace and consideration is it to much to ask from others when out in public? Or am I just not used to how the world operates now?

I think a lot depends on your personal viewpoint and interpretation. If you look for irritation and inconsiderate behaviour, you'll find it.

I'm not looking for it....it's there all around now. Buses and trains were never like they are now.

When? When I looked at joining in the 90s it was 5’4 for women, 5’8 for men.

I take at least six trains a week. People are 99% polite and considerate, and extremely patient and tolerant in the face of delay or overcrowding. I actually find the calm politeness astonishing at times.

YANBU. The constantly on the phone on loudspeaker or playing videos and music out loud in public places thing is incredibly rude and intrusive but people just don't seem to give a shit about anyone but themselves and their right to do as they please whenever and wherever they like. In restaurants it's particularly bloody rude. Get your child some headphones if they really cannot sit through a meal for an hour without their screen fix.

Littering has got much, much worse in recent years. Fast food cartons and leftovers plus disposable vapes absolutely everywhere. and you can't get down any busy town centre street without getting a waft of someone's weed smoke. Beaches and parks have become rubbish strewn shit holes.

People on bikes or ebikes whizz menacingly in and out of crowds of people on busy streets, at a million miles an hour in pedestrianised areas. It's a miracle they don't hit and seriously injure more people.

People also seem to have lost the art of queueing and taking turns. Everything is just a dog eat dog free-for-all.

Shoplifters don't even bother to try to hide it any more. They just load up their bags right in front of staff, knowing all they need to do is pull a knife or threaten to, and they are safe. And if anyone tries to physically overpower or stop them they know their punishment for assault will be much greater than the punishment for the shoplifting, which is pretty much non-existent. Put up a photo of them in your shop or on social media and you are ordered to take it down.

If a crime is committed against you which doesn't put you in immedite peril, such as burglary or car theft, the very best you can hope for is for an officer to phone you a few days later to issue you with a crime number for insurance purposes. Absolutely zero interest in investigating the crime, yet they seem to have the resources to knock on the doors and issue warnings to people who've said some hurty words on the internet.

I'm only in my fifties but I feel about 100 sometimes, because I honestly don't recognise the UK or the behaviour and attitudes of the people in it any more. It's bewildering. It's become like a third world country in so many respects, and I've spent enough time in third world countries to know what I am talking about.

There should be signs everywhere that basically says people who don’t use headphones are twats.

Staff in cafes and restaurants should hand people a laminated sign with the menu that says 'For the comfort and enjoyment of all our customers and staff we ask that you do NOT make phone calls on loudspeaker, or play any music or video footage out loud on any type of device. Please use headphones or your mute button at all times or you will be asked to leave.'

And an advertising campaign

"Charlie says use your earphones in public places"

I would happily spend my money and time in a restaurant or cafe or pub where inconsiderate main character people who don’t understand the purpose of headphones were told to sling their hook and never return. I might get myself on Dragons Den and open the first ‘Considerate Cafe’….

I’d also start up a bus, rail and airline too - same rules. Travel with us if you’re not a twat.

It started long before those events. It's just that the "trend" is continuing to grow so only being noticed more now as more and more people have become inconsiderate arseholes after observing other people being inconsiderate arseholes! It's a kind of exponential growth where more and more people just don't give a shit about other people anymore.

I can't cope with how noisy the world is.

When I was young you couldn't play sodding music outside - you had a record player and LPs and there were no mobile phones so people couldn't just blast music out as you sat enjoying the peace and quiet.

Also, people did have consideration for others, and didn't let their children run about shrieking in public. You were expected to sit quietly, bored stiff if you were out with adults, which wasn't a bad thing. It taught you manners and decent behaviour in public.

Definitely there were height requirements, same as there used to be eyesight requirements, i.e. you were immediately rejected if you wore glasses, and a much more robust fitness check. I was in the force in the 80s, and knew loads of people who were rejected due to wearing glasses, being too short, or not being able to run the specified distance in the specified timescale or failed the "beep" tests. It all seemed to change mid-late 80s depending on the force. Before then, police constables needed to have a "presence" part of which was height and build, as they had to command respect on the streets, likewise the rules on appearance such as no tattoos, no facial hair, hair style, make up, etc.

I thought YABU for first ones but then YANBU for the last 2. People should put their headphones on!

But i also think you get more sensitive to noise as you get older?!? Could this be an issue? Or is there just too much noise these days we’re more sensitive to it… i don’t know

Fear of God too i suppose

People do seem to have become more self entitled and less considerate. It saddens me that society consists of individuals who think that they are all that matters and everyone else should just “suck it up “

I’m not actually sure things have changed much. But people are rude in different ways.

I certainly remember people on public transport with big boom boxes blasting music back in the 80s. It wasn’t people watching YouTube or having a Teams meeting, but it was pretty bloody annoying. But do you remember back when rude people could and would light up a cigarette right next to you in the office or on an airplane or in the pub while you were dining with your family? Certainly in that sense people are (forced to be) much more considerate.

And it’s not that people are busting on in to restaurants and pubs with their dogs when not allowed. If it’s dog friendly, that’s because the business is probably desperate for customers. They probably were less so 20, 30, 40 years ago when costs were lower and people drank more and for longer. I don’t particularly like dogs in restaurants either (I have a dog), but I wouldn’t go to one that allowed dogs if I didn’t want to be around them.

I mostly grew up in the 80s and your rough parenting example probably pales to how we were parenting growing up. 😂 I was definitely of the pick which spoon you get smacked with generation. In contrast, my generation of parents is much kinder and less reactive.

It was happening before either event, we can't use those excuses forever. I recall being on a packed bus and some young woman was having a conversation on speakerphone with someone, a few of the passengers joined in, offering their opinions about 'him'. She got very huffy and closed down the chat!

I agree there is difficult and annoying behaviour, but police officers were NOT all over 6ft tall!

Back then people smoked everywhere, fighting between men was much more accepted, physical violence towards women and children was accepted, plus racism and homophobia. The past wasn't a utopian paradise.

We need to tackle this era's annoying behaviour without escaping into a fantasy past.

Apparently the police are looking to possibly charge the men who tackled the verbally aggressive, deranged flasher on the tube the other day. That pretty much sums up everything wrong in the country.

I've taken to wearing headphones and listening to audiobooks purely to drown out the noise of everyone else on public transport. Some people are so loud it doesn't always work. There was one woman switching her water bill to a new property on the bus a few weeks ago and the entire bus heard everything a fraudster or burglar would need to know about her, including all her bank details.

Nobody queues for a bus anymore. It's a scrum and a free-for-all. The concept of leaving the seats at the front for the elderly or disabled isn't upheld. Young, fit blokes are totally unembarrassed about taking up an entire seat at the front as a pensioner with a Zimmer frame struggles past them.

The thing that is really bothering me at the moment is walking. E-scooters, bikes, e-bikes, motorbikes; you might as well be walking on the road, not the pavement. You can't just walk along lost in your own thoughts, you have to be permanently vigilant and it's very annoying. I have never once seen the police do anything about this.

Dogs in restaurants doesn't bother me. In fact, I'd take my chances on a red setter serving up my food over a disgruntled waiter who hates humanity.

I'd be up for quiet housing zones, where residents would be banned from playing music in their gardens or blasting it out of open windows in the summer. I imagine the property prices would be astronomical though.

You've made this up. It was about 5ft 8in in the 70s.

The height restriction was removed because it prevented good candidates from serving.

Just back from the garden centre.

Dad with two kids (or was it three? Doesn't matter) shrieking and shout-talking at each other all the way around the store. I couldn't get away, if I wanted to browse I had to put up with it as they were also browsing through the pre-defined store flow/layout too. Kids talk at volume 90000 cause they have zero concept of inside voice, but it was the shrieks that grated especially.

I already had a headache because it was honestly so bloody hot in there but these kids were doing my ^},€ing head in.

Never been so grateful to come back to my calm peaceful kid-free home 🤣

TBF I don't think every dog needs to be trained by a professional. We trained our dog using social media (Doggy Dan on Youtube , New Zealand fella, great hair) and it worked! We couldn't afford professional classes. This was way back in 2016 before the pandemic. Our pup is very well behaved and listens to every command.

But I went through Brexit and the pandemic too and I dont behave like that!