To think this isn’t that weird

[LazyLions]

Suffered with anxiety all my life. Finally found medication that helps. Usually I wouldn’t leave the house alone however today I’ve come into my local town to post some parcels and do a bit of browsing. I’ve just popped into the bistro and currently having a glass of cider with ice (it’s very warm here) DP rang and thinks this is weird.

I’m a SAHM with an incredibly hard 5yo autistic DS and this feels like heaven🤷🏻‍♀️ Would anybody else do this or is it strange?

Cheers by the way🍻

I'd do it in a heartbeat OP! Enjoy your break and I am so pleased for you about the meds.

So either hes annoyed that he hasn't thought of it himself. Or hes annoyed that youre also doing what he does. Go enjoy yourself !

it would be a huge shame if your phone reception got really bad and you couldn't answer him.

I don’t drink alcohol myself but why would this be weird? Are you not supposed to put ice in cider or something?

Half the town around here seems to gather outside every pub, bistro and cafe in the area to have icy drinks (both alcoholic and not) the minute it gets hot. Both people alone and in groups. If I wasn’t too much of a cheapskate to pay pub/cafe prices I’d be joining you/them with an icy soft drink 🥵

I say good on you! I wish I had the confidence.

Honestly, I’m jealous. I’d consider myself a relatively confident person, but for some reason, I’ve always hated (and actively avoided) drinking or dining alone. A few years back when I used to travel regularly with work and have to stay in hotels, I’d always try to book one that had room service so I could avoid sitting and eating alone in a restaurant.

You’re a braver woman than me @LazyLions Hope you got to savour that cold, refreshing cider and that you’re already planning your next stint of solo time.

What bit of that is weird? I would totally do that, me-time is important, and a cheeky drink in hot weather tastes even better than usual, lol. Having a drink, meal etc on your own is fine, and sometimes really empowering. Doing it in the sun even more so. Enjoy op.

Enjoy! I’ve done it too! lol

I think your DH is jealous 🤣

@LazyLionsThat is fantastic. Which medication have you changed to? I am having similar (but not as severe) issues and was wondering.

I don't like having an alcoholic drink in the middle of the day if I've got to go back and do childcare. Not because I'd be pissed or incapable, but because I associate a drink with being able to relax for the day.

I'm assuming that you being summoned by phone means you will need to go back and do childcare 😖

However, there is NOTHING weird in sitting and enjoying a relaxing cider on a hot sunny afternoon.

Pre-DC I enjoyed many a lovely afternoon sat by myself in a pub garden or restaurant with a good book. Absolute heaven. Being able to enjoy a nice drink or good food without the pressure of company is a treat (and that's not to say I don't love my friends and family very much!)

Absolutely good for you. I hope you enjoyed this afternoon - and I hope you feel encouraged to repeat it when you get another opportunity.

Sounds amazing. I miss the time pre kids that I’d arrange to meet DH in the pub after work but get there an hour before him with the evening standard to read and a bit of down time. I’ve quite often put a book in my bag this summer in the hope one of this opportunities might present itself, sadly not.
I hope you enjoyed it and had another!

Your husband is weird not you.

I can't believe he is not over the moon happy for you that you are able to start living a normal life, doing normal things like this as you have found medication that works for you.

It sounds bloody brilliant op, well done you 🍺

This 100%.

Is he generally controlling or critical of you op? O think we might have found the route of your anxiety 🤔.

Well done OP!
Might he just be a bit taken a back, given he's got used to you behaving in certain ways?
Tell him to get used to it 🙂

I used to feel like this but then I also had to travel regularly with work for a few years (many moons ago). I found taking a book with me made it feel much easier, it seems more socially acceptable somehow and you don't feel quite as awkward.

I think the physicality of a book is different than just scrolling on your phone. It almost makes it look as if you've gone to the pub/restaurant with purpose.

Once you've done that a few times, you realise that actually, it's perfectly OK and you don't even need the book any more (although I bloody love a couple of hours in a pub or restaurant sat reading!!)

Only mentioning in case this tip helps anyone who's worried about being seated alone.

Must admit I can't help wondering if something like this is going on.

Its such an odd reaction from him.

This. Really don't get what could be weird about it.

I'd make it a weekly thing and Let him take over at home for a bit to give you a break

Well done on being out and about alone!

Keep an eye on his attitude in case he picks at or dismisses your new achievements. He should be able to manage without you for a while without asking when you are coming home x

That’s not weird. One of my favourite things to do is read a book with a nice drink in a beer garden.

I could do with one of those now!!! I think you're being perfectly normal in my opinion, however I would question the bar person's choice of glass for a cider with ice, but that's just me.... 🤷🏼‍♀️😁 Cheers!! 🍻

It's so normal I'm honestly not 100% sure what element he finds weird?

Is it drinking in the afternoon, going for a drink when you weren't planning it, just having a drink rather than a meal at a restaurant or the fact you're on your own?

Literally none of which are the slightest bit unusual, alone or in combination!

Well done and hope you enjoyed your me time. Totally not weird.

He’s enjoyed your anxiousness. Mine feeds my anxiety and it keeps us subservient, polite and obliging. I bet you wouldn’t have half as much anxiety if you weren’t with him.

Not weird, well done you ❤️