Does your husband do any cleaning?

[Sunflowers13]

Interested to know this, as amongst my friends and family it seems quite normal for the husbands to do no cleaning/housework. Maybe a minimal amount of cooking.

I’ve been with dh for 20 years and I knew that he was not a clean and tidy person when we met but we got on in most ways so…

We keep coming back to the same old arguments.

Dh (imo) is a hoarder, very messy and not vey clean. He’s clean with his personal hygiene, but when he had his own house he never cleaned the bathroom, vacuumed the stairs, dusted, changed his bedding.

He has made great efforts to not be so messy and to try and stop hoarding. He’s also good at DIY and cooking. I do most of the housework/cleaning. He will stick the dishwasher on, put a wash load on (usually forgets to hang it out). That sort of thing.

Sometimes, I want to do a biggish job, like sort out our bedroom like a deep clean/declutter. And I’ll say can we do such and such today. This isn’t like every week it’s once in a while. Dh gets really annoyed (but he denies this) and he starts saying that it isn’t a good time, or that I need to pick my moments, or there’s no point because it will just get messy again. Or he starts passively aggressively banging around.

Usually in the end he will apologise and help, but it’s the same old shit every time.

I feel like unless I just do everything housework wise forever more we are just going to keep repeating the same old arguments.

For info we both work, me slightly less hours, but I am responsible for 100% of childcare around my work, I do all the evening clubs with the dc. 90% of housework.

Dh does most of the cooking because I’ve pretty much handed it over to him as it’s the only thing I feel I can rely on him to do. He does DIY as and when.

My ex didn’t do much cleaning, and did much less after we had children.

it was the top ten of the 1000 cuts, tbh.

you knew what kind of person he was 20 years ago, bit late now

He wouldn’t be anywhere near as clean as me if left alone. He will do what I tell him basically. He does cook, wash up, do washing and mow the lawns all by himself. 😆

Yes, there are men that cook and clean. Come on now. Many enjoy it! Who would have thought?

My DH does all of the cleaning. I do all of the cooking. He also does the washing. I do more child care as I WFH and he commutes sixty miles a day five days a week

I did. I never liked it about him but we is a very good person in many other ways.

Just interested to know what most men are like.

He's dead now but before, he did the majority of the cleaning and most of the cooking. I mostly did all life admin and planning out meals/shopping etc.

He did more physical stuff around the the house but on average we spent roughly the same number of hours per week on keeping the house running.

Mine does at least as much as me, if not more. He routinely cleans the bathrooms and empties the bins every week, we share the washing up/kitchen depending on who is free when it needs doing, and same with sweeping/vacuuming. Laundry is also shared but he's better than me at actually putting it away once dried.

Oh god yes! He doesn’t stop!
I can’t leave a dirty spoon on the side when I’m cooking for a minute - it’s put straight in the dishwasher.
He gets on my nerves!

Well the backstory is.

Before I met dh I had a boyfriend who was really ott about the cleaning and that was just as bad. You weren’t allowed to sit on the sofa incase you messed up his cushions.

So when I met dh who was all laid back it didn’t seem too bad at the time.

But 20 years later and two children in is another story.

Yes, my dh does all the laundry, hoovers (daily) and cleans the floors. He’s good at the bigger jobs but less so at the cleaning worktops or general tidying. Also does all the gardening (very frequent as we have a big garden) and DIY. Currently building dd desk.

I am sorry to hear that.

My DH does more than me because he's happy to. He does all the cooking and shopping, realises when the laundry needs doing and hangs it out. Cleans the house although I will also do the windows and sorts out the bills. It's just the way we have evolved over the last 35 years.

Loads. He does the washing up every day; we cook together most nights. He does the bathrooms. And bins.

I do food shop online and all the bills.

Either one of us puts a wash on.

He’s doing the windows right now while I dust and hoover. I got the better end of that deal.

My OH does some cleaning, probably half of the laundry & ironing and most of the cooking (and clearing up afterwards).
I used to clean the windows & facias while he footed the ladder but we have that done by a firm now, I still clean the inside of the windows though.
He looks after the back garden while the front is my domain.
I tend to clean the inside of the car while he does the outside. He looks after the MoHo inside & out.

I have a similar relationship and he doesn't "do" financial planning either!

He can clean bikes and cars meticulously though.

I said to him early on "do your share or pay for a cleaner?" to which he said, promptly, "cleaner".

He does nearly all the food shopping, cooking and driving, plus more than half the hands-on childcare when DD was little - those are the only things he'll do.

I was a bit naive when I met him aged 25.

However I can't think of any friends' husbands where they do even half the cleaning.

I will make sure DD knows what to look out for.

Society doesn't judge scuzzy men as much though.

Weirdly my FIL is a dab hand with the housework so it's not lack of a role model.

Yes, quite a lot. More than me probably.
He cleans the kitchen, bathrooms, hall and all hard floors. We change the beds together.
I hoover and dust (usually only when guests are coming 😊)
I also cook and do the online grocery shop. He clears up after I cook and puts the shopping away when it’s delivered.
The garden and allotment are entirely his sphere. He likes to keep active.

Mine probably does more than I do as he WFH so will do mindless tasks while on a call that he doesn't need to input much (usually those pointless training sessions where you have to basically listen to someone waffle for an hour and then sign off). Clothes washes are solely his domain, he mostly does the transfer of bins from the kitchen to the main wheelies outside. He also does some of the cooking, takes DD to her sports practice because they leave before I finish work (and I take nothing to do with the prep for that). He can also do a reasonably good hairstyle when she needs (usually she can do her own). He does DIY, he services the cars, vacuums, strims the grass...

I keep the kitchen somewhat tidy and clean, I do my share of cooking and taking DD to practice, I tidy and vacuum, clean the bathroom, put away my clean washing, fold the towels and sheets.

My OH does a fair amount. He's much more into sorting clutter than me, I very much have to be in the mood. Does most of the cooking, about 50% of the washing up, sorts and puts laundry away, vacuums, tidies up toys, empties bins round the house. Tends to overlook bathrooms but considering he's pretty hands on elsewhere I don't mind picking that up 🤷‍♀️

He cooks and cleans. He even does the ironing. He's 63 and came to me well trained by MIL. He's also been a decent role model to our three boys so they cook and clean too. He's a bit of a treasure really.

Yes absolutely. My DH does all the laundry (family of four), he hoovers, changes all the bedding, and does the dishes. I cook, and clean toilets and kitchen. He’ll happily cook if I ask him too.

Ex did nothing. Saw it as woman’s work, with him being the big provider (I worked FT)

DH now does lots of cooking and cleaning - what needs to be done, needs to be done. We do have a cleaner for main stuff for both of us

Whereabouts do you live?

they do “none” ?

Dh (imo) is a hoarder, very messy and not vey clean

this would be horrendous for me to live with and the thought of doing it for two decades with no end in sight? OP, my sympathies

My DH mows the lawns, but that’s it. I have to do the weeding as he doesn’t seem to see it needs doing. He’s so obsessed about his lawn, and of course it not an all year round job.
He will clean his bathroom, cooks a couple of nights a week, will finish a wash if I put it on when I go to work, will empty the dishwasher if I’m not there.
No longer does DIY, doesn’t hoover or dust.