Boys you assumed were gay at school

[Mymindsgoneblank]

Now married with kids when you see on Fb pics.

Has anyone ever had that?

No. Why? Has someone asked you similar before?

I mean now you mention it…

Asked me what before?

Have you told your “anecdote” about having had 3 “lovely gay friends” to anyone in RL @Sometimeswinning ?

No. Why would I? There are many replies I give which I don’t give a second thought to. Then someone like you rocks up 😂

Also do you have problems letting things go? Have you ever been accused of narcissism? Being triggered?
No reason. Just wondering.

That’s a relief! I imagine some pretty quizzical faces if you tell this “anecdote” in RL 😆

No never accused of narcissism or being triggered

but I’d hazard a guess you have said others are a narcissist or asked if they’ve been “triggered”!

When I was at school everyone was calling each other gay, so I’d say out of 1500, a fair few weren’t.

Well I went to a girls' school so it wasn't really something I thought about.

You’ve inspired me. I’m going to check in and use it in a conversation today! Is there an age I should be looking for? Or will my kids be ok? Dh? Someone I bump into in town?

Oh man…. Brace yourself! Wish I could be a fly on the wall during this “anecdote” sharing of yours 😆

One boy who was relentlessly taunted for obviously being gay (but who denied it at the time as it would have been social suicide to admit it) is now openly gay.

I was friendly with another kid whom I assumed was gay, and almost fell over one time when he told me that he had a crush on a girl. He's now definitely out.

One other guy springs to mind who seems on Facebook to be happily married to a woman. When I see these posts, I wonder why I thought he was gay, why I was right about the others, and whether there are any real, identifiable markers of gayness.

I went to a girls' school. Some of the bullies there used to call me 'gay' or 'a lesbian'. I assume it was just because some of my behaviour (diagnosed ADHD as an adult) might have seemed strange to them, and back then in the early 1970's, calling someone 'gay' basically meant 'I think there is something different about you but I can't quite put my finger on it.'

I am not a lesbian. I do sometimes get mistaken for a man, but that's because I have short hair, and that is not because of some desire to look less female but because I have very thin hair which looks ridiculous when it's longer.

I have no idea whether any of the girls I was at school with did turn out to be lesbians. All the ones which pop up on my Facebook have been married for about 40 years to the same man, so I'm guessing not.

Yeah I know some people jump straight to the its homophobic stuff - I never have but to me this thread just seems wrong.

As an ex teacher there are clearly young people who are so confused and it's made even harder by people outing them at school, calling them gay, talking openly or whispering about their sexuality. I know someone who only came out recently late in life, never married or had female partners. They have only told a few people and there is a mixture of oh wow that's a shock or he walked funny or sometimes dressed it. I felt bad that they've had to keep it hidden for so long, but then when some are faced with the above at school it sends them further back into the closet. It's just really sad.

So I guess it's natural that people make assumptions but just still think this post/thread is weird - but that's me.

It is not just you

and you have articulated exactly why I felt also this thread is off

This thread is really off

Never thought about it. Why would it matter? If those you went to school with have happy lives, are kind and honest people then who they went on to marry is irrelevant.
This thread is odd and an odd question to ask

I braced myself. I said to dh and he said oh yeah I remember you saying. Then he said did you not know they were gay? I said yeah I kind of did.

Then he swatted a fly on the wall! 😂 Just kidding.

Honestly, if I’ve upset you I’m sorry. It was a throwaway comment. Enjoy your weekend. ✌️

Ok, relief that you keep this “anecdote” in house!!

You had already told him 😆

For what it's worth "femboy" is a very popular type these days and loads of girls are attracted to them. Basically a very feminine, non-threatening, straight male. These types of men have always existed. Back in the days people might have assumed they were gay but nowadays it's so commonplace.

Is that pretty ghastly “fag hag” term around?

Thank goodness I'm 65 and went to all girls schools from the age of 7.

Never gave whether someone else was gay a second thought. The only person at my school who was a Gaye, had it as her name and back then it didn't warrant comment.

Hmm I am in my 60s and was very innocent and uninformed about that sort of thing back then, in the 1970s.

One lad I knew from school and really liked came out a few years after leaving. Apparently hit the gay scene very enthusiastically and move down to London. Sadly died of Aids in his 30s.

Statistically I suppose there must have been other gay people in our cohort but I wasn't aware then and I don't remember there ever being any rumours or homophobic bullying. I think we were probably all just more innocent about it.

I think it's weird that people have never met someone and assumed they were gay. I mean would you really not assume Graham Norton, Alan Carr, Boy George, Julian Clary, Paul O'Grady etc etc were gay if you met them? I see non celebs on random shows like gardeners world and assume they're gay and then they mention their husband. It's strange to me that some people have never ever thought that someone they met was gay.

There are also lots of men out there that are gay/bi and in denial/hiding it/sleeping around behind their wives backs while pretending to be completely straight. I was married to one of them and I've heard from many others in the same boat since I found out.

I didn't assume boys were gay at school. Of those that others assumed were gay, some were and some weren't. A bit like the general population.