My sister has physical disabilities, she was born this way. However, mentally she is fine, she graduated from university, owns a property and manages rental income etc.
When I visit my mum, my sister is often aggressive, argumentative, abusive, and controlling for no real reason. My mum has raised her with a victim complex believing that because she is disabled, she is always right and others are wrong and that people are there to do her wrong. Most times I visit, she starts arguments, swears, spits at me, hits me, and says hurtful things like, “No wonder your husband divorced you,” or “You’re ugly and fat,” She also tells my young DS off, ignores him etc. as a result he doesn’t really like her.
Yesterday, I visited my mum, as DS has been staying there a couple of nights a week during the holidays while I work. I casually mentioned something I saw on Instagram (I asked her is she had posted a picture twice as I'd seen it a couple of hours ago and then at that particular time), and she tried to start an argument over it. I repeatedly told her I wasn’t engaging and to leave me alone. She then came over and scratched my arm hard because I didn't want to argue over something so trivial. She dug her nails into my arm. I left the room, but she followed, still trying to argue. I told her to go away, and she fell to the floor crying hysterically. My mum comforted her, making me the “villain” and her the “victim” because of her disability again.
Moments later, she came back, looked at DS, and said, “I hope you and your mum become disabled,” before grabbing a sandwich to throw at me. She then came to hit me again. I pushed her onto the sofa so she wouldn’t fall on the floor, but she got up and tried to throw my car keys at me. When I was about to leave, she hit my face, so I pushed her away. She started kicking me. I took DS and left.
She has had similar incidents with my older sister, cousin, mum. She is also controlling with her carers about 3 have stopped working with her in the last year alone. She has never been physically or verbally aggressive with them, which tells me she knows what she is doing. She sighs and shows her annoyance at them. Over the years, I've encouraged her to get therapy, but she has refused.
I have decided to cut contact with her and massively reduce my visits to my mum’s house, as I don’t want DS exposed to this toxic environment anymore. I feel very unhappy after each visit. I can't do it anymore.
This is one incident of many.