To think DP’s friend should give him a lift home

[Irelanderin]

DP doesn’t drive, and is meeting a friend later round the corner from his work.

I’m picking him up when he’s done (with our toddler in tow). It’s about a 20/25 min round trip for me.

It would be about a 10 min detour for his friend if he was to drop him home after.

AIBU to feel a bit miffed that he hasn’t offered? Probably not helped by the fact I’ll have to rush dinner etc either before or after due to the time it will be.

Really can’t believe you would put up with such a man-child. It’s truly disgusting when a healthy adult can’t (won’t) drive.

How would he react if you decided to do the same? Could you leave your toddler with DP for the evening, go out drinking, and then expect to be picked up??

This. It must be like having another child, all the adults figuring out how they're going to get him home. Can't he walk?

You don't need to live rurally for bus services to be limited. We live in the centre of town and DD21 works in a business park a few miles away. She doesn't drive so relies on a bus. It doesn't go as far as the business park in the middle of the day and the last bus leaves the business park at 6.30pm.

Some of these responses seem very strange to me. He has tried and found it difficult for him. Some people do. He must have skills OP doesn't, that's how marriage works.

Ideally he'd learn, but it the meantime, it's not that big an ask. I'm sure if was a very frequent request OP would have mentioned that! If she really doesn't want to do it he can get a cab or ask his friend. I'm sure his friend asks him for favours occasionally.

Even if he could drive, he'd likely want/need a lift in this situation anyway.

Has the ride issue come up with the friend? Cause if they juat agreed ti meet up, it is possible he hasn't thought about it or was planning to offer when they do meet up. If I've been somewhere, usually the ride off Rd.clme when you're about to leave and not before the meet up.

Unless money is too tight then a taxi really is the best idea. 15 quid so you dont have to do nearly half an hour with a toddler slap bang in the middle of dinner time seems worth it.

Well that's the cost of your joint decision.

He drives, walks, pays for public transport or doesnt go.

And I bet he would pay it, because its always bloody men that are happy to throw money at costly convenience and women who feel stressed about how that £15 could buy something "sensible" so rearrange the world to revolve around their man.

Well he's never going to do it if you keep picking him up. There's no way I'd interrupt a toddler evening meal bath bedtime routine for a man who wouldn't prioritise.said toddler. You are setting this up and knocking the pins down yourself it's got nothing to do with his friend.

I always drop my friend home because she doesn’t drive. But I do see her less than she’d like because I always factor in that I need to drop her home.

The thing is she would be more than happy to get the bus.

In afraid 20 minutes isn’t that much more than 10 minutes.
It would be nice if of the friend to offer but he shouldn’t ask.

He could get a taxi.
He could walk.
He could prep dinner before he leaves and cook it when he gets back, in return for a lift from you. He could also do any other chores that will be interrupted by you going out.

It's not the friends responsibility but it would be kind. But for all you know the friend maybe be going elsewhere away from home afterwards.

Is it you or him who thinks £15 is a waste?. It's only 2 pints. I'd guess he's happy to pay?

If your husband’s friend offered, then of course that would be great. But you are wholly unreasonable to expect the friend to offer.

Maybe the friend has his own family to get home to or other commitments or hasn’t offered because it’s not his responsibility to take your DH home.

Yeah you have a husband problem, not a friend problem. He can ask his friend for a lift but his friend has no obligation.

Non-drivers through choice have no right to expect anyone to give them a lift. That’s why people learn how to drive.

The non-driver should arrange their own way home. The fact you have a toddler is completely irrelevant to his friend.

He is never going to get round to learning if others give him lifts, he needs inconvenience to spur him on.

Well its not a waste if it saves you doing it, depends how much you value your time

I didn't learn to drive until I was 30 but I never once expected anyone to drive me home if I went out - neither friends nor DP. This is because I was a grown-up.

Could he get a bicycle?

You're miffed at the wrong person. It's not the friends job to be a taxi driver because your husband can't be arsed to learn to drive, any more than it is yours. Tell your husband to either learn to drive or start paying for taxis

That’s the price you pay for being a non driver. Though he could offset that against what he’s saved by not running a car 🤣

Maybe a lift was offered only to be told that you're picking him up.

Quite, running a car ain't cheap

Can you compromise and see if his friend can take him part way home and you can pick him up at a convenient meeting point, so the journey is shorter for you and not a detour for his friend?

But no, it's not reasonable to expect his friend to take on the burden of dropping your DH home.