Other people's cooking makes me feel sick

[TheLuckyMoose]

Okay, so I already know I am BU in some ways. I’m just not sure how others cope?

Other people’s food hygiene standards make me feel sick. Whether it’s my brother cooking with a sweaty forehead, whether it’s people touching the food when I know they haven’t washed their hands. Or it could be someone talking over the food they are making and I’m sure saliva is getting into the food.

Recently I have been at a friends house and she doesn’t rinse the debris off the plates before washing them. So the basin water ends up full of stuff and that water is subsequently used to clean more dishes.

I also have a friend who literally licks her fingers whilst cooking.

I wondered if I have OCD, but my fear is not of getting ill, it’s more that I feel sick eating the food given to me when people just aren’t hygienic enough in my opinion.

I know this post sounds awful, please be gentle with me. I have had issues with this since I was little, but I’m just noticing more and more people doing unhygienic things whilst preparing meals and it’s making my life difficult.

I feel exactly the same way about food preparation. I feel very scared about the hygiene of other people when cooking. I have OCD. Themes like this don’t just revolve around a fear of getting sick, the actual root fear could come from anything - even just the fear of the uncomfortable feeling that something hasn’t been done “right” is a subtype of OCD. Fears of contamination can stem from anything: the stereotype of someone with a contamination fear is that they would compulsively clean, however, for many even the thought of cleaning triggers the anxiety because they don’t want to have to touch or be near the thing they perceive to be contaminated.

I’d suggest looking into it a little bit more, because it can be hard to understand fully, but you’re not alone.

To be fair the things you are describing sound fair as they are all unhygienic practices by those cooks. I suppose the real question is can you eat food prepared by others when you dont see them cooking? In restaurants for example and houses where you aren't watching them

Had to politely remove a long curling grey hair out of my mouth last time I ate someone's home-cooked food.

Your post doesn't sound awful to me - I am obsessed with food hygiene and it's caused me a lot of stress over the years - I think in my case it's paired with health anxiety and maybe OCD as well. The licking fingers example properly grosses me out. I wonder if you could arrange to do things that don't involve other people cooking for you (even if you have to say "I've got this weird thing at the moment where I don't want to eat food cooked by other people; I'm working on it" - although I accept that might be hard to do for people who aren't close to you). In the long run, it's probably worth some therapy.

I get you. i dread home made stuff too like cakes,buns,jams,fudge etc and no matter how lovely the thought as a treat etc it goes in the bin, I just can't.

I have the talking over food issue as well I threw a subway sandwich away because the woman was talking over it it’s disgusting and rude

those things you mention are grim and i would be making it a bit of a teaching moment.
my past workplace was one where baked goods/foods were often dropped off for staff, and 100% without a doubt staff only ate foods by people we knew closely or knew they were good cooks from community pot lucks etc.

Poor food hygiene is gross, but if it goes beyond that and is affecting your life enough to post about it, maybe therapy would help. If you think you might have OCD, seeking a diagnosis might also help you.

Cats on the chopping board.......shudder....yanbu

As someone who does not have these type of concerns at all, this sounds very hard to live with. Eating with friends and family has always been a really normal and important part of life. This fear that you (and others on this thread) have lessens the joy in life. However, I don't know how to advise you to learn to reduce it, I'm sorry. Maybe do some reading on excessive worry about hygiene and see if you can find advice?

I'm funny about people's food hygiene too, mainly washing hands, cutlery / plates /pans etc. Mainly because I've noticed people absolutely do not do these things properly and it's utterly gross.

Talking over food they're making doesn't bother me, unless they're actually spitting. Ditto being sweaty, unless they're dripping.

Your examples are valid. Sounds bonkers but I have to work hard at not overthinking stuff otherwise I would go OCD Doolaley re hygiene e.g I've yet again ravaged my hands because had an hospital appointment and between sanitation gels and hand washes have got multiple blisters because I over obsess.
I once worked away from home (in the middle of nowhere) and was completely dependent on canteen food. I swear one Server would drip sweat onto the food. I think I lived off fruit, crisps and chocolate - because packaged sandwiches were made on-site!

Talking over food? I don't get this, do I have to chop veg in silence?

Therapy

We are not meant to be sterile. We would die if we were.

Some of your examples are reasonable such as licking fingers. Others are more extreme such as talking while preparing food or how the washing up is done. I think if it’s starting to affect your ability to lead a normal life, you should consider whether it’s something you need help with.

You are not being unreasonable, anyone that's been on a food hygiene course knows more than the basics of cooking and hygiene. Sadly a large% of home cooks haven't and do miss basic stuff. Sometimes I shudder when it at friends and I'm not ocd

Can I ask how do you navigate not eating the food once served up? A full plate of food will not go unnoticed and will draw comments.

I kind of don’t go to peoples houses to eat because of this.

I once worked in a hotel at Christmas time at one of those places that does big corporate events, weddings etc as a waitress and would watch the chef sweat directly on to the plates as he was serving up the Xmas dinners. This was 30 years ago but it was a well respected place.

Anyway I guess you really can't be assured that anywhere has perfect food hygiene at all times. I'd rather eat someone's home cooked food that they have put care and attention and love in to than food mass produced on a production line by underpaid workers picking their noses etc.

One of the normal things that really makes me sick is blowing out candles on a cake. Luckily, no one notices if I don't partake. However, one thing that confuses me is why do people blanch at certain ethnicities eating with their hands? There's tons of etiquette around it but foremost, based on hygiene. Everyone washes their hands thoroughly, only meant to use right hand, food shouldn't go past the first knuckle, no double dipping from communal dishes etc. people eat slowly and enjoy their food. I'm so cackhanded I make a mess but have really loved that way of eating - particularly off a Banana Tree leaf (naturally waxy) in India, Malaysia etc. After eating, people swill their mouths, rinse off their hands and the banana leaves, which go into compost area. Loads better than using paper or plastic plates!

I bet the dinner scene from Scary Movie 2 would give you the shivers! Don’t look it up if you’ve not seen it.

YANBU. The things you described put me off too.

You only get one life….

I could either spend it being miserable, fretting about tiny risks and ruining social meetings and events with my hygiene neuroses, to the extent it blights my life and sucks the joy out of it

Or I could relax, realise the risks are negligible, enjoy good food and socialising with others, and just accept that you may very occasionally get a dodgy tummy for a day or two if someone hasn’t prepped perfectly, and live your life free from shackles of food anxiety.

Yes, you can rationalise to yourself that your anxiety is reasonable, but that doesn’t change the fact it’s blighting your life… What’s the point in proving to yourself that you’re being rational simply so you can continue to live under a cloud…when others are living free and reveling in it.

For your own sake, please try to let go
of your neuroses, get therapy if you need to, and enjoy the one life you’ve been given.

This is me too OP. Tbh even if I don’t have identifiable concerns about a particular cook / haven’t seen anything, I almost never feel comfortable eating other people’s home cooking. I also have issues with cutlery (often use my own unless I can’t hide it/would have to explain). I’m autistic and assumed it was linked.

Wow so many people on this thread feel the same as you, I'm surprised but I guess it means you're not alone.

I always suggest going out for dinner if I have guests visiting because I'm not as good a cook as most people. Now I have something else to be self conscious about as well! 😂

I'm an ok baker and am over run with eggs atm so was going to do a lemon drizzle for the office... I won't bother..(or maybe I will and eat the whole thing myself)

Honestly eye opening how many responses so fast are saying "yep me too I hate other people cooking" . I knew someone who wouldn't even accept a glass of water outside the house because she was worried about the glass and I always thought she was a real anomaly but I guess not!

I’ve been like this since I was a child- I wouldn’t eat anything made by anyone except my Mum. Nothing to do with food hygiene then I guess, as I didn’t have a clue about that when I was small! Even today, I find it almost impossible to eat at someone else’s house and I never share home made cakes and things at work. I haven’t really thought too much about this but this post has really made me think!