DH turned off Find my friend while I was away

[SarahLdn740]

I went away for one night with my dad and kids. DH and I always have Find my friend switched on and I often check where he is (we don’t do many exciting things and he doesn’t really drink anymore, so it’s mainly to see how far from home he is, if he’s left the office etc). While away, I wanted to check if he’s home from work already and the location thing didn’t work. I just assumed the app was slow as that happens and didn’t think about it. I am back today though and was checking if he got to the office and again it didn’t work. Then in the evening I wanted to see if he’s on way home and it didn’t, so I realised that clearly it’s off.
i never thought i had a reason not to trust him, but it felt off in connection with the fact that I was away for that night. I waited until we saw each other this evening and looked at his phone, and indeed location was off. I asked him and he said he didn’t switch it off, has no idea etc. My gut is telling me he’s lying and I’m really baffled… he then tried to turn it around and got annoyed with me for not trusting him and had to go on a late work call. Left me with a guilt trip that I’m coming up with this right before a stressful work zoom.

what would you do? I want to let it go, but it feels off.

Is there a reason you can’t just text/call him
and see if he is on the way home? You say you don’t check it often but actually it reads as if you’re pretty reliant on it.

sounds a bit odd to me, did he say it has miraculously turned itself off? Or did he say it was on and a glitch on your phone?

Sorry he cycles home and sometimes goes for a longer cycle so I like to see if I should expect him in an hour or 10 minutes. It’s just a habit, nothing sinister or obsessive about it.

i took his phone and saw it was toggled off so he couldn’t say it was a glitch. He just said he has no idea why it’s been turned to being disabled.

I’d switch it off as well. Why do you need to know if he’s home from work if you’re not even there?

For anyone trying to say I’m some crazed husband stalker, I can assure you that’s not the point. we just look at where we are for convenience. Say I’m walking late from the train station, he would go on it to see how far I am to make sure I’m safe etc.

We both have had it on for years, so I would be surprised if he started caring about his privacy suddenly

But why were you checking while you were away? That's not for convenience.

This. You do sound obsessed OP.

To see if he hasn’t been hit by a car on his way home and that he’s home ok? Is it that weird?

anyway the question isn’t really about whether I’m weird for checking.

Weird for it to be a one off glitch that just so happened when you weren’t around.
youre clearly suspecting something underhand has happened, none of us can tell you for sure.
Dh and I don’t have this switched on, I think its weird and stalkery, if either of us are going to be significantly later home than anticipated we will just message and say “be back at x”.
I’d hate to feel as though he was tracking my movements and ‘watching me’ walking down the road. Feels too big bother for both of us.

I would be suspicious as well. Sounds like he took advantage of your time away to have some leisure time of his own..so sorry op. That's where my mind would go.

Does he often get hit by cars?

Mine has done this-partner checks when I'm on the way home from work on my late nights so he can get tea ready, and on the odd occasion he's not seen me, and I've not turned it off. Once my location was inaccurate too, so it can happen (he showed me that it displayed me in the wrong place, in case someone was going to say it's an excuse for not having tea ready!).

Soz but sounds like he is cheating. Go with your gut.

Well it is weird, I would turn it off too if I was him

Did he turn it back on?

My phone remains a mystery me and all manner of things happen to it, but I’m not defensive. That’s probably the key thing here.

He probably just stopped at the pub on the way home and didn't want you checking up on him. Or went for a sneaky kebab without you moaning at him for not sticking to a diet while you're away. There could be a thousand non-sinister reasons for not wanting you spying on him from afar.

How would you know he’d been hit by a car just because he isn’t at home? Maybe he’s just out

What would I do? I wouldn't be tracking in the first place so difficult to say really. But your husband is a grown man. If he doesn't want his location tracked he doesn't have to have his location tracked.

What do you think he was doing? Do you trust him generally?

I have had situations where it has stopped working after phone updates but it does sound like he switched it off.

I’ve had to restart my Location Services settings because I wasn’t picking up and GPS satellites for a cycling app and found that it disabled the location sharing with my partner. I had to manually share again.

It entirely possible there is nothing suspicious going on.

Phones do weird things sometimes. Mine frequently ‘unfriends’ my husband on our Apple Watches. I only notice when I stop getting the ‘X has finished a workout’ when we’ve been on a walk together! But neither of us is defensive or acts fishy about it. His demeanour will tell you more.

We use life360 in the same way. My dh had location permissions off the other day. I thought no more of it and mentioned it only in passing.

it didn’t occur to me that he was seeing someone he shouldn’t be. There would be many other signs if he was having an affair!

if I was concerned about his safety while cycling I’d just text to ask to let me know he was ok.

Ignore the posters who think anyone who uses phone tracking just to check where family members are. They seem to ignore the facts that Snapchat will show you the location of every single friend and acquaintance and no one cares 😂

it is strange and a bit of a coincidence- can you definitely say that it was still tracking the day before you went?

if he was being dodgy whilst you were away you’d expect him to turn it off briefly but make sure it’s on again later or the next day and phones can do weird things so - I have no idea to be honest but listen to your gut I’d you think he’s lying