DH turned off Find my friend while I was away

[SarahLdn740]

I went away for one night with my dad and kids. DH and I always have Find my friend switched on and I often check where he is (we don’t do many exciting things and he doesn’t really drink anymore, so it’s mainly to see how far from home he is, if he’s left the office etc). While away, I wanted to check if he’s home from work already and the location thing didn’t work. I just assumed the app was slow as that happens and didn’t think about it. I am back today though and was checking if he got to the office and again it didn’t work. Then in the evening I wanted to see if he’s on way home and it didn’t, so I realised that clearly it’s off.
i never thought i had a reason not to trust him, but it felt off in connection with the fact that I was away for that night. I waited until we saw each other this evening and looked at his phone, and indeed location was off. I asked him and he said he didn’t switch it off, has no idea etc. My gut is telling me he’s lying and I’m really baffled… he then tried to turn it around and got annoyed with me for not trusting him and had to go on a late work call. Left me with a guilt trip that I’m coming up with this right before a stressful work zoom.

what would you do? I want to let it go, but it feels off.

And you couldn’t just text him?

If he’s been hit by a car, chances are his phone would have been left at the scene anyway.

You sound very controlling and you’re using the ‘worried about him’ card, which all controlling people do.

Of course he turned it off because he knows it’s not normal to have you checking up on him all of the time, especially when you are away.

This, what an extreme reaction. So if he's not where you want him to be,the ONLY other option is hit by car!

It wouldn't even occur to me to think something was off with my husband in this situation.

Also, I know you don't want to hear it but it's not normal to track each other. It's normal to text and keep in contact about whereabouts and timings but tracking seems oppressive for both parties.

Get a ring doorbell. Problem solved.

These are the posts I stay for 🍿

Don’t you think he could just tell me that instead of pretending he had no idea why it was off all of the sudden, after years of both of us using it?

or have we now decided that I’m a nutjob who is obsessively tracking her husband so he’s scared to say anything and has to hide going to the pub? 🙄

Actually OP, you are right to be concerned.

When my husband was cheating he assumed I was too much of a Luddite or just bovine to know that he had set up family sharing, for all devices. I never checked except to make sure he was on the train home on the very late nights.

I said nothing but it was very very useful information to have whilst lining my ducks up.

It took him absolutely ages to figure it out, but I had more than enough by then.

Yes, my radar would be beeping over this.

Seems odd to track him when you’re away. That’s not for convenience. Also when you couldn’t track him I presume you thought he’d been hit by a car and therefore called the police? What actions did you take when you couldn’t locate him if it’s out of ‘concern’? Did you phone him to check where he was and check Jo welfare?

Well text him 'why have you turned tracking off I am trying to check where you go and what you are doing you are stopping me from doing this' see how the truth comes across to him

Right, you can all put your popcorn away - deleting this thread. Cheers to the few of you who tried to understand me!

I think he'd be a bit more devious if he was up to no good. He could have left his phone at home if he was up to something, made up an excuse as to why it would be off, switched it back on later etc.
It is weird to track him though. If you are worried he's been in an accident you could call or text. Just keeping tabs on him is odd.

If you think he's cheating look at his phone messages.

This.
Text him that it's unacceptable for you not to know his every movement and how dare he remove this level of control from you.

That is the trouble with that App. It was off and people's thoughts immediately jump to infidelity

I don’t think he’s cheating. He knows you’d notice the tracking had been switched off and you’d immediately question it. He’d be rumbled.

He’s more likely to have left his phone in the office or at home if he were meeting a woman, in order not to raise your suspicions.

I’m assuming there are no other changes such as grooming, gym obsession, mentionitis.

Agreed.
I understand having find my friend for family members in emergencies orfor convenience, but obsessively checking his whereabouts throughout the day when you away doing something else is weird.

There are not only two extremes - cheating or phone switched itself off. Maybe he just didn’t see the reason why you needed it on when away and switched it off manually to stop at the pub without having to explain it, and then when you mentioned it he took the easy way out rather than having to justify it. If he was cheating and remembered to switch it off, he’d probably remembered at some point to switch it back on.

Stop stalking each other weirdos!! This is so weird is this what couples do now? Im sooooo glad im single

My guess is that the tracking thing as a comfort is more for you than him. It is odd, and I can see why he’s switched it off at the first chance. And the easiest thing to do would be claim ignorance to avoid the inevitable row.
Yeah he could be having an affair, but he might aswell have left the locations on - it would’ve been less obvious.

My husband also cycles to and from work..whilst I don't have a tracker to see I worry when he's late (he will message as he's leaving work saying I'm leaving and then put his phone away). So I get you. If your gut is saying something is off then try and investigate more into it and what he did that night you were away - was he with his friends or did he say he was alone? Is there a reason for you not to trust him?

Thank you for your kindness. I don’t have a reason not to trust him, so ill leave it - maybe it is a weird glitch like someone above said x

I cycle to work sometimes. My husband doesn’t track me and I don’t message to say I’ve arrived. If something happened to me he would be notified by the emergency services or hospital

Why do people on here always miss the point entirely? Seems intentional tbh.

OP, I think you’re right to be suspicious. The timing is very intriguing… Turning location off (on iPhone at least) requires going to settings, scrolling down to Privacy & Security then Location Services then toggling it to ‘off’. That’s too many steps to do by accident! Unless he has it added to his Control Centre drop down menu as a quick launch button, then it’s definitely been intentionally switched off.
No idea how easy it is to do on Android though.

THANK YOU. Yes, that’s my point…! I’ll see how it goes but not asking for advice again on here 😂

Well the point is the op wants to know where the partner is and what they are doing so if the op cant say them what else can they say 'i need to be able to track you why have you stopped me'