Husband and football

[cherrypied]

DH has always liked football and watched England and World Cup. And followed along his local team in a very low division and a premiership team.

we have been together 10 years

recently he got back into supporting his team and bought a season ticket for 24 /25. I have no issue with this. He goes to the home matches. But he won’t miss a match AT ALL. everything schedule around it, even holidays and Birthdays. He then goes to al the other matches too that are at home - non league ones. I get its nice to have a hobby and would never ask him not to go but if we get an invite he will turn it down.

Now this year it’s escalated to watching almost every match in tv whatever team. So some weeks there can be 3 football watched on from 7-9 each evening. Plus weekend TV or match.

then there is Saturday - if he is not at a match he is glued to tv.

For an evening match he just puts the TV on and doesn’t ask me and that’s it for 2 hours. Of course I say something non confrontational .

now he started streaming you tube matches onto the TV with a 7pm kick of from very obscure teams. I’m now quite pissed off because if had know I would have gone out.

I have said if he want to watch football to tell me in advance so i can plan to do something. I’m not sure he will though. I often don’t have anything major to watch but I can’t sit in the room with it in it really annoys me (and that is my issue but I am quite tolerant of 1-2 matches a week plus’s attendance at all the home games)

AIBU

YES- YABU football is a nice hobby
NO - YANBU he is too obsessed -it’s not normal level of interest and he is being thoughtless

If you sang and your hobby was amateur musical theatre, and you practised every other week one day with your group, then sometimes in the week, then randomly when there were other visiting groups, and you couldn’t ever miss a practice, regardless of holidays or birthdays. And then you need to watch musical theatre each night on the tv, different styles from around the world, and two or three shows on tv at the weekend would your H be ok with that?

Hes taking the piss big time. How fucking boring. I'd honestly smash my head through a wall.

YANBU, basically, he's taking the piss 👍

H watches his team on tv when they play. But if there is life happening he records it, or misses it.

As I am nice, I will make accommodations for “big games” if possible, but I need to be informed if there is a “big game”

And he watches with youngster, it’s not antisocial - and after a game either I can put something on to watch or it gets turned off.

So one team, not quite all the games, no day out every other weekend season ticket, big games accommodated unless they absolutely can’t - that is where we have drawn the line.

Actually the sky box then laptop would go first

Do you have children?

How did he used to spend his time?

My DH a pretty avid football fan and we have season tickets.

He will miss a match for an event but wouldn't knowingly schedule something that we could do on another day. He just writes them on the calendar and we plan accordingly.

I am also a fan-although we gave up one of the ST's a few years ago so only have one and he usually goes with our adult DS.

DH father was also a fan, as are his brothers. I think it's a nice tradition but it doesn't run our lives any more than we let it.

YANBU Have you tried telling him how fed up of this you are?

That sounds excessive to me.

No sane person could live like this

He is far too obsessed. Yes i like football. However i couldn't watch every game on the telly. I have never watched games on youtube either. My mum is totally obsessed so i know how you feel. She won't hear a word against the team she supports.

The good news if you are a football fan is that there is a massive increase in the number of premier league matches screened on TV this season. From 128 to 215 on Sky IIRC. Plus of course all the cup games, euro games and the world cup later on this year.

Welcome to my life, DH and 2 adult DS’s, all football mad. DH and DS1 have been Spurs season ticket holders for over 15 years and go to almost all home games along with my brother. I’ve had my own tv and Sky upstairs in my bedroom for many years and go to my bedroom. This is also after 15 years of my DH being a football manager to both my DS’s teams. DH and I are retired so we do spend plenty of time together and I quite enjoy the house to myself when they go to football, as they are usually gone upto 7 hours.

My ex was like this, he started off in just the same way, then it got worse and worse until there was always some match he HAD to watch. I used to look forward to the end of the season, but then he started following cricket too!! Surprise, surprise, we went our separate ways, and my now DH has NO interest in sport whatsoever!! It's bliss!!

We’re same as @frozendaisyin this house. I quite like football, and OHs job is in sports so it’s genuinely important to him. But games go in the diary, and if something comes up I’ll try and plan around it, but if it’s not possible, or he’s not put it in the diary, he misses the game. I plan my gym sessions around the evening TV games as one of us needs to be at home with the baby.
As he says, when he was single sport could be his priority.
These days we are, but it doesn’t mean he has to completely give up on his hobby. I really don’t know what to suggest for you as it seems he won’t compromise.

Yeah it’s quite depressing tbh.

We don't have kids. We just you to hang about or go out. Cook food , make plans and so on! He also did triathlons.

Ltb x

He sounds like me. Football is important to me. If it was a man saying a woman should stop something that was important to her, there would be fury on here. I suspect it’s just because it’s football though

DH is also a big football fan and occasionally I go with him.I think men tend to really enjoy a day out and DH would say its good for mental health. That being said we do agree limits and what you are describing looks a bit obsessive. DH would prioritise birthdays, weekends away etc. Ok if it were a cup final or play-off match it would be accommodated, but this looks concerning.

I am so happy that my husband detests football. I could not live like this at all

All a bit sad really isn't it, not much of a life restricted like that.

I love football and my DP loves football, we support different teams so there's a lot of TV watching in our house. DP keener than me on other random football but we wouldn't swerve an outing or an activity to watch a game. Your OH sounds quite obsessed tbh.

This is no longer a hobby, it’s an obsession that you’re supposed to go along with.

Tell him if he wants a relationship that fits in around the fixtures list, then he’s welcome to find one but you don’t and if this continues, you'll be issuing a red card. Boring twat.

No. My DH is a massive footy fan and I am too to a lesser extent. We can fill most of the weekend with matches quite easily.

when he wasnt watching footy he was fishing. (Too ill now).

it didn’t bother me because any games other than his home team were ‘if you’re not watching anything do you mind if I put it on?’

and events were prioritised over footy.

My ex-H was like this (see he is now my ex). I love football and we met at a match, but he is obsessed with it.

My DS is the same and if allowed, would hog the TV with football every night, if he wasn’t watching live football. I do like football, but not every night. He has been reminded that this is my house too, so he gets 2 nights a week to watch football in the lounge or he can piss off upstairs to his bedroom to watch it.

Be very careful if you decide to have children. My ex-H thought he could still go out every weekend, mid-week and European games and I would stay at home, like a good little wife and look after his son. He found out very quickly that if you still want to behave like a single bloke, then you can piss off out of my house and live on your own like a single bloke. (We get on so much better, now we are not married).

I love football and follow the team I’ve supported for decades. I do watch every match I can, although if it’s not possible it’s not the end of the world. Family life comes first and football is a big part of this with my DC. We watch together or text if we’re in different places, have FPL teams and compare scores etc.
But your partner sounds obsessed to the extent it’s interfering with a healthy life or relationship.
You could try talking to him but the football is probably on somewhere! Is this how you want to live?