Who is being unreasonable?

[MidoriNoRingo]

Person A has a friend who is currently living in a caravan and using a laundrette. Friend is coming to the house in a few weeks to babysit A and B’s children for the night. Person A has said they can use the washing machine while they are here.

Person B is not happy with this as last time they used the washing machine friend had overloaded it quite significant and nearly broken it.

Person A said they have spoken to friend and told them they will show them how to do the washing but don’t think this would be a problem.

Person B thinks Person A does not respect their wishes and thinks as Person B paid for the washing machine that they should be allowed to say that friend can’t use it. Person A thinks it would be awkward to have friend babysit but tell them that they can’t use the washing machine.

Person B said in that case they would rather stay home and not go away for the night.

Person B is quite autistic and is very rigid about things within the home.

Who is being unreasonable?

Or ask A to come around and do the washing, and then go to the party with A, leaving B surrounded by drying washing.

He’s now doing the whole “it’s fine, let her come over. My opinions don’t matter anyway. I’m not allowed to have them blah blah blah”

He's running the whole gamut of tactics to get his own way then? Sounds exhausting

“Cool. She’s on her way.”

I’m with your husband. My uncle broke my mum’s machine by overloading it and now my mum is so anxious about the new machine not being overloaded.

Could you drop your friend to the launderette as a compromise and pay for a load?

Actually he is saying YOUR opinion doesn’t matter, you didn’t buy the washing machine so you have no say and having made a fuss and said he wouldn’t go now he is actually regretting it and trying to get you to back down

and she didn’t break it she overloaded it so it needed draining

Er yeah it is

So they tried to put in 4 loads in 1?

Take your friend to the party and leave your sulky husband to spend time with his washing machine

Well it was B that had to fix it and then do 4 loads of the friends washing. Why? Why didn't you fix it and your friend do their own washing.
I do always find these posts confusing.
'How DARE he be so controlling and say its his decision!! Tell him how out of order that is, and it's YOUR decision that's happening and what YOU want!!'

I can't imagine trusting someone to look after my children who I didn't trust to look after my washing machine but you do you.
If it was me and I had a friend living in a van who struggled to get washing done, I'd offer them to come round and do it weekly. That way they'd have smaller loads and wouldn't pose a problem.
On the other hand, I regularly 'overload' my own washing machine and it's been going strong for 10 years.

Launderette washing machines are much bigger than domestic machines, they are also heavy duty as they are used multiple times a day, everyday. I can see how it would have been easy for your friend to overload your machine.

Is your friend aware that they broke the machine and your partner had to fix it? Were they apologetic and genuinely sorry for their mistake? If yes - I think you should trust them to be more careful next time. Perhaps you could fill the machine with the first load and show them how much room to leave (I was told to always leave 1/3 empty to allow the clothes to move, so the dirt gets bashed out).

I can see your partners point of view, mine would be the same, he wouldn’t refuse to go to the party, just ban friend from using the machine. If you give friend a second chance you need to be sure they won’t make the same mistake again.

How do you know it was 4 loads. I mean you can only shove a certain amount in and even then it normally doesn’t cause it to need to be drained (and I am one for trying to shove too much washing in!)

Take the fuse out of the plug before you leave and pretend it's conked out.

Petty shit.

Its extremely relevant. B is utterly unreasonable to be fine with leaving their children with someone they cant trust to use a washing machine.

Um, because OP said B paid for the washer so B is the owner of the washer.

He had to fix it and run 4 washes of the friend's. Friend is not to be trusted with washers much less kids.

B sounds really cranky But, every cloud, whilst at home he can put the washing on.

This!

Then B is being a knob.

I wouldn't let someone else use my WM.
I also felt uncomfortable when others offered me to use theirs when our last one died.
If someone bought and paid for a WM then they are entitled to say who uses it.

Fascinated as to how someone managed to nearly break the washing machine and how B knee it had been nearly broken given it wasn’t broken

Neither are being unreasonable, but I think you have to respect B’s wishes if they feel SO strongly about it.

Not here to comment on the original post. But those people on here who are saying that not being able to use a washing machine (and a model they don’t know at that) with being unfit to look after children are incredibly odd. There are many things I can’t do, my parents and in laws can’t do, my partner cannot drive for instance. People manage to raise children under all manner of hardships and not being able to use a washing machine is hardly up there on the list of requirements for being able to safely look after children.

Of course you can be a bit autistic. Never heard of "the spectrum"? Mild autism is "a bit autistic" and it can be increasingly severe.