Who is being unreasonable?

[MidoriNoRingo]

Person A has a friend who is currently living in a caravan and using a laundrette. Friend is coming to the house in a few weeks to babysit A and B’s children for the night. Person A has said they can use the washing machine while they are here.

Person B is not happy with this as last time they used the washing machine friend had overloaded it quite significant and nearly broken it.

Person A said they have spoken to friend and told them they will show them how to do the washing but don’t think this would be a problem.

Person B thinks Person A does not respect their wishes and thinks as Person B paid for the washing machine that they should be allowed to say that friend can’t use it. Person A thinks it would be awkward to have friend babysit but tell them that they can’t use the washing machine.

Person B said in that case they would rather stay home and not go away for the night.

Person B is quite autistic and is very rigid about things within the home.

Who is being unreasonable?

Why does B, who I assume is your partner, get to dictate to you like this?

He's being a total prick and the whole 'I paid for the washing machine so I can tell you who's allowed to use it' thing is really controlling. And no, this isn't excused by his autism.

I'm a bit done with all this A&B. I can't work out what's going on. It's like the washing machine sequel of Twelve Monkeys.

B's washer, B's rules.

She sounds careless with other people's things. Yes, I get she probably overloaded the machine, but an adult should know better.

Pay the friend the cost of a couple loads. If she's okay schlepping her dirty clothes to yours for free laundry use, she's okay schlepping to the Laundromat. She just wants a free laundry.

Why not A's washer, A's rules?

B

The machine didn't 'nearly break', they just had to manually drain it, hardly the end of the world.

Given the caravan dwelling friend is presumably doing you a favour, it's pretty mean not to find a way to help them out by doing a couple of supervised loads.

I would still get your fired to come, leave the kids with B and go out with your fiend. B can do friend washing whilst they are watching the kids

Leave B at home with the kids and take your friend to the party. She can do her washing the next morning.

B is unreasonable.

B is also happy to stop at home with the DC while A goes to the party. So just rock with that..

Nearly broke the washer ??

aka it wasn’t broke !!

’hey, you dipshit, if you wanna use the washing machine, do not stuff it full to the rafters this time, cos it was a ball ache to sort, better to do a few washes - comprendez ?? Yes ? Great !’

problem solved, stop stressing !

Highly relevant.

Person B is being really unreasonable

I like this.

A small price to pay compared to the cost of a bsbysitter

You can’t “ almost break” something. But you can’t be “quite autistic” either, so there’s that….

B made the point they had paid for it - so different to our money and children

I would struggle to leave my children in the care of someone who is so incapable of loading a washing machine that an intervention is required. Doesn’t bode well for their general level of common sense/ consequences.

This.
Does friend know the damage they caused and are apologetic?
Is the caravan for ever?
Are dc happy with friend looking after them?

😆

Also what's with "person A" and "person B"?! The tone and description kind of gives away who is who 😂

I guess it depends on if the person knows they actually messed up or if they have no idea about all this drama.

But if the first person wants there to be a change the obvious solution is that they talk to their friend and they fix any issues after if something happens. Leaving the decision to one person and the fallout to the other isn't ideal.

Funny how everyone’s assuming the op is A, I actually thought they might be B!

I think B is being too rigid given the friend is doing a favour by babysitting. I’m guessing they overloaded it last time as they were worried about getting it all done. I also struggle to believe they squashed it so full it was actually 4 loads (as you stated later B split it into 4 loads to wash) so I think B is being rather precious (anal) over the washer to make a point. Either that or they know the machine has an issue so they need to under load it to keep it running.

The kind thing is to let your friend do their laundry as it must be tough living out of a caravan.

I’ve spoken to my friend and she was very apologetic. My husband is very rigid with these sorts of things and we’ve been arguing all day about it. He’s now not going to the party so I guess it’s all over nothing anyway. Oh well. Haven’t been out just the two of us since our son was born 4 years ago.

Leave person B at home and go away without them.

B is being mean.

I am a petty bitch. I would tell friend to come round earlier to do their washing anyway. Then go to the party without DH.

Does he think he’s your boss?