Page 3 | Holiday money

Vaxtable · 12/08/2025 22:43

So he has money for the bar? Or is it part of the deal? Either way it’s wrong

i would now do trips just you and your ds and leave him at the hotel

then when I get back he would be dumped

Original poster

PeoniesGinandBags · 12/08/2025 22:43

Thanks for your feedback everyone.

Yes, the trip was supposed to be a treat at the end of a shitty year but, it’s carried on being shitty.

I think I knew I was “right” in how I was viewing it but wanted to sense check things. It’s all been pretty over whelming.

I’m going to try and make the best of the time here while I’m here and leave him to it. I’ve not lent him money for his pub visit and won’t be doing.

Once I get home, I’m done. Thank you.

OP posts:

MooseLooseAboutTheHoose · 12/08/2025 23:10

Sorry to hear youve had a shit year OP, and this really isn’t going to be making it any better I’m sure. I hope you can still make some lovely memories with your DC and I think you’re 100000% right to tell him to fuck off when you get home.

He had 1 year to save approx £500 pounds… that’s only £42 pound a month, a tenner a week that he had to put away to show how much he appreciated you and your son, wanted you all to have a great time and he blew it. He didn’t even have the decency to try and borrow the money from somewhere, or take a loan. Just dumped it on you on the morning of the holiday. After you’ve saved £6k to have a lovely holiday with the 3 of you. He’s fucking useless.

Have you been together for long? Will you be okay with the break up? I hope you can see that you and DC deserve better x

Arlanymor · 13/08/2025 11:45

Good decisions and good luck. Sorry to hear about the shitty year, but I honestly think the year going forward will be much less shitty without him in it.

Original poster

PeoniesGinandBags · 13/08/2025 15:37

MooseLooseAboutTheHoose · 12/08/2025 23:10

Sorry to hear youve had a shit year OP, and this really isn’t going to be making it any better I’m sure. I hope you can still make some lovely memories with your DC and I think you’re 100000% right to tell him to fuck off when you get home.

He had 1 year to save approx £500 pounds… that’s only £42 pound a month, a tenner a week that he had to put away to show how much he appreciated you and your son, wanted you all to have a great time and he blew it. He didn’t even have the decency to try and borrow the money from somewhere, or take a loan. Just dumped it on you on the morning of the holiday. After you’ve saved £6k to have a lovely holiday with the 3 of you. He’s fucking useless.

Have you been together for long? Will you be okay with the break up? I hope you can see that you and DC deserve better x

It’s been a crap few years to be honest. We’ve been together for a couple of years, very low key at first. Luckily we do not live together…… I have held firm on that. He has suggested it a few times but not in a way that makes me feel like he actually wants to, if that makes sense? I definitely don’t want him living with me though. I do feel used and taken for granted. It’s really not nice. I think it’s because I’ve known him since we were younger and we always got on so well that I’m remembering an entirely different person.

I’ve not been at all well this year and I kind of hoped the “old” partner would put in an appearance but no. I think this might be emotional abuse at times. I don’t feel good about it

thank you for your understanding x

OP posts:

MooseLooseAboutTheHoose · 13/08/2025 16:09

Sorry OP, I hope whatever has been going on for you is at least looking to improve in the near future?

Good that you don’t live together, that will make things infinitely easier. Will your son take the break up okay?

Feeling you’ve been used and taken for granted by someone who is supposed to love and support us is just such an awful feeling. But this is all on him and the type of person he is. You’ve obviously invested a lot of time, emotion and bloody money into this relationship and he has obviously not matched that effort and energy. This guy is not the one for you, you deserve so much better, and so does your son.

Concerning that you mention emotional abuse. Do you wanna discuss that a bit? Is the money thing and the lack of consideration, effort and respect not the extent of the issues here?

mondaytosunday · 13/08/2025 17:52

What is it with men? I took a BF away for a weekend - my treat. He wasn’t hurting for money but probably wouldn’t have had enough spare to pay for a mini break. I thought this was kind of a make or break weekend after a year of dating. Nice weekend but no meaningful discussions.
Then on the way home I broached how did he see us moving forward and he tells me he doesn’t see us as a long term thing. Like whoa. So I said why did he say yes to the weekend? He said ‘because I’m weak’. Yep, he was. Too happy with the status quo, in our relationship and his life. Bye. ( that sounds like I easily moved on but I was in floods for three days afterwards though I held it together for the rest of the trip home).
After that I thought no more second guessing - if a guy isn’t definite about his feelings for me and our future I’m not interested. I met my future DH a year later and we got engaged after six weeks. We split our first meal together but after that he was happy to treat me and treated me like a queen. What a change.
This guy isn’t showing that he cares deeply for you. He’s along for the ride. Cut him off.

Laura95167 · 13/08/2025 18:05

How does he afford the pub trip?

sandyrose · 13/08/2025 18:05

You and your little one deserve so much more. A man who would expect a single mum pay for his holiday for starters is not ok. Let alone the rest!!

Spinmerightroundbaby · 13/08/2025 19:17

PeoniesGinandBags · 12/08/2025 20:02

I don’t think I’m being unreasonable but opinions welcomed.

currently on holiday with my partner and my DS. I have paid for the holiday for the 3 of us. It’s an all inclusive resort.

the agreement with partner was that he would cover any excursions and airport parking. This is significantly less in costs but he has had a year where he’s been stupid essentially and has been strapped for savings.

The week before we were due to go away, he asked me to book the parking as he would need to “pay me back”. I was irritated as the holiday has cost me over £6k but I begrudgingly did it because we needed parking. He paid me back a few days later.

On the day we left, I picked him up at the agreed place. He was 15 minutes late and had on the way he said “I feel shit but I don’t have any spends”. I said WTAF?! He say “well I can just pay you back for anything”.

It feels like that’s not the point though. I’ve worked my backside off for the holiday - I’m a single parent- and it feels like he can’t be arsed.

The holiday was booked a year ago so IMO plenty of time to save. I expected him to bring maybe £500 for trips…. I’d pointed out the 2 I thought would be good months ago and told him the price.

we’re still on holiday and he’s just informed me that “tomorrow he’s found a bar to go and watch the football so won’t be at lunch”.

AIBU to just be pissed off? He’s for form for letting me down and it feels like this is the final straw but I don’t know if I’m over-reacting?

He’s an asshole. Dump him.

dh280125 · 13/08/2025 19:58

I'd dump him before you get home. That's not on.

CopperWhite · 13/08/2025 20:03

How enthusiastic was he about the idea of going on holiday with you and your child? If he was pressured to go, he’s still a twat but it’s more understandable.

OneWittyGuide · 13/08/2025 20:47

This man does not love you, you are his sugar mummy!

Snakebite61 · 14/08/2025 10:38