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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Holiday money

101 replies

PeoniesGinandBags · 12/08/2025 20:02

I don’t think I’m being unreasonable but opinions welcomed.

currently on holiday with my partner and my DS. I have paid for the holiday for the 3 of us. It’s an all inclusive resort.

the agreement with partner was that he would cover any excursions and airport parking. This is significantly less in costs but he has had a year where he’s been stupid essentially and has been strapped for savings.

The week before we were due to go away, he asked me to book the parking as he would need to “pay me back”. I was irritated as the holiday has cost me over £6k but I begrudgingly did it because we needed parking. He paid me back a few days later.

On the day we left, I picked him up at the agreed place. He was 15 minutes late and had on the way he said “I feel shit but I don’t have any spends”. I said WTAF?! He say “well I can just pay you back for anything”.

It feels like that’s not the point though. I’ve worked my backside off for the holiday - I’m a single parent- and it feels like he can’t be arsed.

The holiday was booked a year ago so IMO plenty of time to save. I expected him to bring maybe £500 for trips…. I’d pointed out the 2 I thought would be good months ago and told him the price.

we’re still on holiday and he’s just informed me that “tomorrow he’s found a bar to go and watch the football so won’t be at lunch”.

AIBU to just be pissed off? He’s for form for letting me down and it feels like this is the final straw but I don’t know if I’m over-reacting?

OP posts:
ChuppaChupp · 12/08/2025 20:48

He's for form for letting me down and it feels like this is the final straw but I don't know if I'm over-reacting?

Has he always been like this? If so why did you think he would change?

Meadowfinch · 12/08/2025 20:53

Shinyandnew1 · 12/08/2025 20:40

He was 15 minutes late and had on the way he said “I feel shit but I don’t have any spends”. I said WTAF?! He say “well I can just pay you back for anything”.

I'd have turfed him out of the car pronto and gone away with my son. What a freeloader.

This.

Stop wasting you time with this man. He's living off you and doesn't appear to add anything. Why would you want him in your life?

JambonetFromage · 12/08/2025 20:54

DustlandFairytaleBeginning · 12/08/2025 20:11

I don't think its wrong to spend some time away from each other on holiday- the bar thing wouldn't bother me. But the free loading and not bringing any money absolutely would. I would ditch this relationship when you are back.

To me it’s the other way around - potentially there’s a valid reason he has had a difficult time financially and is struggling to make ends meet to save for the holiday. But choosing to fuck off to the football is just a straightforward choice which makes it clear where his priorities lie.

Lafufufu · 12/08/2025 20:57

This bloke you are shagging isnt your "Partner". He is a bloke you are shagging and subsidising.

Dont expose your child to him and dont entwine your life with him.

The money you spent on him coming on holiday is I'm guessing circa 2k.... if you'd invested that in an ISA it would pay for your childs driving lessons and some other treats aged 18. Instead you wasted it on this degenerate.

Prioritise your child. Prioritise yourself.

Tell him to fuck off to the football and take his shit with him. He can sort himself out for the rest of the week.

Separately, raise your bar... you sound smart and like you earn well. Don't put up with this shit

Franpie · 12/08/2025 20:57

Why are you paying for a grown man to go on holiday in the first place? Doesn’t that give you the ick??

MidnightMeltdown · 12/08/2025 21:02

Why on earth you are you paying for him to go on holiday? You’re being taken for a mug. Not a chance would I ever paid for a bloke to go on holiday. You should have just gone with your son if he can’t afford it.

TeenLifeMum · 12/08/2025 21:07

Please take dc on trips but do not pay for this cocklodger who sees you as his source of income.

Arlanymor · 12/08/2025 21:07

You know that saying 'when someone shows you their true colours - believe them' - never has it been more applicable than in your case.

He's useless, selfish and feckless. I might consider keeping the peace for the sake of the holiday, but I wouldn't be keeping him once I got back from my holiday.

Saving grace is it doesn't sound like you live with him if you had to pick him up - so easier to separate than if your living arrangements and finances were entwined - but he doesn't live with you and he has no finances! Freedom beckons...

user764329056 · 12/08/2025 21:14

Aim higher, he’s a loser

TheEllisGreyMethod · 12/08/2025 21:22

If anything you're under reacting. Jesus what a scrounger, which is bloody unattractive. And he left telling you until the laT moment so you couldn't do anything about it? Would be the end of the road for me.

citygirl77 · 12/08/2025 21:28

So remind us, what is it that attracts you to him?

TwistedWonder · 12/08/2025 21:33

I’ll be honest OP I just checked out your previous threads and seems you jumped into this relationship very quickly after your marriage broke up and therefore you were probably far more vulnerable than you realised.

This isn’t the first thread about how your DP has let you down massively and you also say he doesn’t have a relationship with his ownDC which is a HUGE red flag!

Honestly he’s taking you for a mug - please take off those rose tinted specs and see the reality. You’ve said in a previous thread he’s an addict who owes you money already but still finds the money to do coke at weekends - why the hell are you throwing more good money at him?

You’re wasting time and money on this loser that you could be spending on your DS. He’s a freeloader and he’s taking advance of your vulnerability.

This bloke has more red flags than the Chinese army - come on OP wake the fuck up. You really want this man around your DS??

kim204 · 12/08/2025 21:47

I can't figure out why you're still with him when you'd be so much better off without him?

Goonie1 · 12/08/2025 21:48

He’s found some spending money for the bar then? When you get home, Id tell him he owed you for the holiday itself as well as anything else you’d subbed him for then I’d be ending it. Not only is he taking the piss money wise but to just up and go to a bar to watch footy on a family holiday (that you’d paid for) is a pisstake. Sorry OP, not great to have to deal with this on holiday. Whilst you’re there, just concentrate on you and your DS and enjoying your time with him.

MadeForThis · 12/08/2025 21:52

have you lent him money for holiday spending?

Enigma53 · 12/08/2025 21:55

Fuck him. What a waste of oxygen.
So sorry OP, I’m fuming on your behalf.

AnneLovesGilbert · 12/08/2025 21:55

All that money you’re spending on him could be going towards your son.

As you know he’s flakey, financially incontinent, selfish and inconsiderate I assume he’s got the brain of a genius, an incredible sense of humour, a stunning body, he’s a great cook and is spectacular in bed. Cos why else would you tolerate him taking you for a fool?

SaladAndChipsForTea · 12/08/2025 21:57

Does he have a shiny dick?

Seriously, so much yuck I don't even know ow where to start. Why are you with him?

USaYwHatNow · 12/08/2025 22:04

I voted YABU but because he's got form and you've still gone on holiday with him

TwistedWonder · 12/08/2025 22:09

USaYwHatNow · 12/08/2025 22:04

I voted YABU but because he's got form and you've still gone on holiday with him

I agree. He’s a scrounging coke head who has used her as his cashpoint from the start and yet she’s still choosing to continue bankrolling him and exposing her DS to a freeloading druggy.

I despair of the number of women who inflict these dickheads on their poor kids.

HerecomesMargo · 12/08/2025 22:14

MamaElephantMama · 12/08/2025 20:17

I would end the relationship as soon as I arrived home. I don’t agree with single parents spending money on men like this.

This op.

give your head a wobble and think about this. You’re a single parent and spending money on this loser when you should be spending that on your child. What are you doing?

HerecomesMargo · 12/08/2025 22:15

SaladAndChipsForTea · 12/08/2025 21:57

Does he have a shiny dick?

Seriously, so much yuck I don't even know ow where to start. Why are you with him?

Sad how SO many women put men before their kids.

Yachties · 12/08/2025 22:24

Leave .

zeddybrek · 12/08/2025 22:27

Sorry OP, there's quite a few red flags there. You're not a priority for him. You have been so generous and expecting so little in return and yet he couldn't deliver on that. LTB.

Travelfairy · 12/08/2025 22:42

Omg I really feel for you. He sounds like a complete loser. I would end it tbh. What's he doing with his money? Gambling? Alcohol?