Would I be unreasonable to warn my family of the dangers of puddle jumpers?

[LifeOfAShowGirl]

We’ve had my two nieces and nephew over today for a day in the pool. My two youngest niece and nephew were sent with puddle jumpers.

Every time I look at them I can’t help but think of the tragic case in America of Trigg Kiser, who drowned in his family’s pool. Part of the reason was speculated to be because of the false sense of security that puddle jumpers create, because they make children feel like they can float, when they can’t. I don’t have children myself, but this case has really made me think about pool safety. Would I be unreasonable to tell them?

I thought it was the waterproof onesies! Assumed some parents thought they were like drysuits…

No child should be unattended near water, whether you plan for them to go in it or not.

My kids ALWAYS wear protection around swimming pools. It's very dangerous not to.

But what I also do at the beginning of each holiday or pool season is after they've gotten comfortable jumping it with the floaties, invite them to jump without. They sink like a stone, I scoop them up, they are shocked and scared, and they learn that they do NOT know how to swim without.

You could do that with them on the day? (If the parents are the neurotic type, maybe warn them.)

I live (and have always lived, except for a short time following Uni when I lived in London) in the SW very close to the coast.

My parents regarded learning to swim was an essential skill. I learned to swim in the sea, firstly learning how to float & then to swim. My brother & me then went on to have lessons in a local swimming pool.

When we had children we did the same - firstly learning how to float in the sea (closely supervised of course) then lessons in a pool.

My GC have been taught in the same way & my youngest GD (aged 8) has recently competed in a triathlon swimming in the sea.

We have never used arm bands or other aids as these are not helpful. Learning to float is an essential skill, as should the person get into trouble they know how to relax & signal for help.

Float To Live – What To Do In An Emergency – RNLI

Lessons or no, they still need closely supervising. DS had lessons from six months, he is 8 now and can swim 200m quite happily, and I still wouldn’t leave him unattended in the pool (I’m more worried now about him slipping and hitting his head, or getting his hair trapped in the filter).

In that case you have to supervise them like a hawk. Or politely decline the use of the pool till they get the safer equipment.

Sorry OP but I don’t think it’ll be warmly received if you tell them. I get the point about false sense of security but I don’t think the danger is acute enough to justify approaching them and basically telling them they aren’t keeping their children safe.

I think you'd probably be overstepping. My four year old goes to swimming lessons and we take her in the training pool without armbands to practice where she is used to submerging both accidently and on purpose, but when she comes in the deep pool for fun play she has her armbands on with us by her side constantly. They are a useful way for a not yet swimming kid to have some water fun in a deeper pool with family. She knows that she sinks without. I don't really agree with you to be honest that these never have a place. They seem sensible to be using them in this scenario where you have multiple kids you are watching.

Surely this 'false sense of security' would be the same for any floatation device people use - vests, armbands, rings, life jackets

My 5yo has used all of the above and is well aware of the fact he can't float and that's why he needs his arm bands 🤨

They shouldn't be alone around water. The little boy you're talking about fell in accidentally. I don't buy this "false sense of security" thing. Kids naturally don't have good risk awareness. Flotation devices can still be useful.

My ds was born abroad.

We never used any floatation device and taught safety and staying within depth.

When we came to the UK he was put in armbands because that’s what we do here (not by me and I understand family member who took him swimming wanted their own safety plan followed) and he was told he’d drown without them.

Took years to undo that as he truly did believe you were only safe with armbands - but also in the flip side he was safe in armbands iyswim?

No long term harm mind - he’s a swimmer now 🫣😂

But I do agree the narrative around floatation devices needs to be clearer and the message to children needs to be clearer.

Arm bands can be useful for getting kids comfortable in the water.

Out of interest, what device would you get if you could afford it? I don't see what you could use that wouldn't cause the apparent risk of the child being over-confident?

Agree with you. I refuse to use them as I don’t want my child to have a false sense of security.

I think you would be ok to suggest that if they come to your pool again then they should start to learn water safety as you would like them to enjoy it more often as they grow and want them to be safe to use it.
You could do it in a non arshole way by gifting them a water safety type book for little kids and a float or something. You coukd say you saw how much they enjoyed the pool and heres a little gift.
You could mention that you have seen somrthing onling about the puddle jumpers and ask the parent if they have seen it too or have a view on them and you can send them the link.
Often parents are overwhelmed with stuff and I personally would welcome the support. Maybe they havent thought about it.

If it's your pool then you can have whatever rules you want but I don't think it actually made a difference in the death of Tripp Kiser.

There was no pool cover for days before his death
He was left unsupervised with an uncovered pool for at least 9 minutes
His dad was watching sports and placed a bet around the time of his death

It was preventable and all down to lack of supervision and lack of safety when you have your own pool and toddlers in the house.

Next time something comes up just take the parents “ooh just seen this in my news feed! You probs already know but I didn’t”

share the info in a non judgey way and they’re more likely o listen

Can't edit my post to add to it for some reason, but wanted to add:

I personally prefer swim rings, not for learning to swim but for holiday pool mucking about, because as he gained confidence he would take the ring off his waist, wrap his arms around it instead, basically play with it like a floaty toy which I think taught him a lot about his own buoyancy

But we've moved to the flat foam armbands now because he says that's what school use and he can swim better with those

You can't expect kids to take their own water safety seriously (especially if they're of an age that requires these devices) and that's why they need to be supervised constantly near water, even a shallow paddling pool. I'm struggling to understand the issue as even if they do jump in they're being supervised so you will fish them out - assuming you can swim yourself

We have used one on holiday. It was a godsend. One of us was always in the pool but my ds is strong and I physically could t hold him up in the pool for an hour while he thrashed about..

Having him in one meant I could stand and support but not have to hold him up. He was able to swim a meter or so unaided but typically sank before he reached the side so he needed us there.

Obviously they are not meant to be used unsupervised at all.

Another one here who didn’t know these were called puddle jumpers- I thought this was going to be about Peppa Pig.
TK was playing unsupervised near the pool for nearly 10 minutes. It doesn’t really matter whether he or anyone else thought he could swim or float more than he could.

The only times I have ever seen my children do something stupid/risky near water isn't because they thought they could float if they got in, but because they underestimated the risks of falling in - so getting too close/leaning over to get something out of the water. Which is a good example of why young children can't be left unsupervised by water whether or not they know that they must not get in.

I think you’re over thinking this. Yes they do bring a false sense of security but the parents probably just don’t want their child to be unsafe right now and probably thought they were doing you a favour. For a parent with multiple children it means you can be in the pool and not have to constant hold multiple children up.

But you could say that about any swimming/flotation aid.

It is all about the supervision.

I suppose you could say something to the parents like "Don’t worry, I’ll supervise the children at all times when they’re in the pool because I read about that tragic case in the US of the child who was wearing a puddle-jumper and drowned." Any more than that and I think they might well resent it.

Unless you have good reason to think the children are not supervised around water then you have no reason to say something to the parents. Whether they use floating devices or not, having swimming lessons or not, children should not be given opportunity to be alone by water. Supervision is the crucial water safety measure.

How old are they? Can you just start drumming in to them that they mustn't ever go near water when no adult is around and that they won't float at all without the puddle jumpers? Or even just take them off for a while so you can physically show them the difference and how they won't float without them.