Would I be unreasonable to warn my family of the dangers of puddle jumpers?

[LifeOfAShowGirl]

We’ve had my two nieces and nephew over today for a day in the pool. My two youngest niece and nephew were sent with puddle jumpers.

Every time I look at them I can’t help but think of the tragic case in America of Trigg Kiser, who drowned in his family’s pool. Part of the reason was speculated to be because of the false sense of security that puddle jumpers create, because they make children feel like they can float, when they can’t. I don’t have children myself, but this case has really made me think about pool safety. Would I be unreasonable to tell them?

Even if they can swim, an adult needs to be in the pool with them when they are little. Supervision is the key thing, not flotation aids nor being able to swim.

And being able to swim can give a false of security when they are older in itself, as they also need to know what an unsafe stretch of water looks like.

Not that I'm saying they shouldn't learn to swim, but it wouldn't matter if a four or five year old could swim, as they are still little and someone should be with them.

This must be the 21st century version of armbands? Even with them on, the children still need the fear of 'whoever-might-reside-on-a-fluffy-cloud' putting into them about not going near the pool etc.
I really thought this was going to be about staying away from children jumping in puddles so as to not get wet and muddy!

I think it’s a bit of a jump. I have been following the very sad drowning case of Trigg Kiser (I once lived in Chandler, Phoenix). Not seen anything mentioned about puddle jumpers. The boy tripped on an inflatable pool chair whilst he was left unattended by his dad who was watching a sports game he had placed a bet on.

The parents had no fence. And the dad said his son knew not to go near the pool as if that means anything re a 3 yo. Very sad. Poor mite was seen treading water for 2 mins 😢

I’m not going to debate various safety things, because your question is about whether to say something to the parents. As these are your nieces & nephews, I’d assume at least one parent is a sibling of yours? I don’t think there’s any harm in quietly saying something like, “I’m sure you probably already know this, but I’ve read some worrying things about puddle jumpers recently.” My place of choice would always be in the kitchen while you’re both doing something, because to me I always feel like when you’re having a potentially awkward conversation it’s useful to have something else to focus on and an easy exit if needed.

Haha, no, I’m not that type of aunt!

it just puts a pit in my stomach seeing my family disregarding water safety entirely :(

Non swimmers/young kids should never be left unsupervised around water regardless what flotation device you are or aren’t using. These devices don’t mimic the correct position for swimming but holiday isn’t a swimming lesson and so long as the kids are enrolled in proper lessons by 5 years old I don’t see the issue. Yes they can also make a child over confident around water and if they’re very young they may not understand that they can’t swim without it, but that’s also a non issue if the kids are always fully supervised around water. Sounds like they just want a fun day at the pool without the kids constantly clinging to an adult. I don’t get the issue unless you’re suggesting the parents don’t properly supervise them?? That child in America wasn’t being supervised so whilst it’s utterly tragic it’s a terrible example to apply to your nieces. The blue/green swimsuit thing is also neither here nor there with young kids requiring constant supervision because they’re never out of your eyeline- it’s advice aimed at older kids swimming at a lifeguarded pool e.g. at a camp or something because they may not be obvious if they go under water.

I think you're overreacting. You're basing your dislike of these things on "speculation", when the main factor is that the child was unsupervised.

I think you're overestimating the specific dangers of flotation devices, and perhaps underestimating the dangers of having children able to access water unsupervised at all. You can't trust a young child not to jump in whether or not they've ever used a flotation device - in its own way, your belief that they'd be safer never having used a puddle jumper because they wouldn't jump in is also very dangerous false confidence. Never using a flotation device is very hard to implement practically unless you always have a more than 1:1 ratio of children to adults, which most families can't.

The absolute key thing is that children should never be unsupervised in water, and should never be able to access water unsupervised, not what they're using or not using while supervised. Ungated pools and leaving children alone near pools or when they could get near a pool are the actual danger (and are why Trigg Kiser died).

It's your pool - can't you say you're not comfortable at all with anyone who isn't having swimming lessons going in it any more from now on, so before the next time they come (before next year?) you need to know they're signed up for some lessons. Could you even treat them to some lessons?

Basically I think you have a right to speak up about this because it's your pool - I'd worry more about looking like an arsehole if you were not the owner of the pool. As it is, you get to make the rules about who goes in it and to be fussy about whether or not they've at least started learning to swim.

Exactly. You can’t leave toddlers in pools no matter what they are wearing.

I thought puddle jumpers were those all in one waterproofs so was thoroughly confused about how they could be dangerous

YANBU, but if my children were being looked after by someone with a pool, I'd expect that someone to be keeping a close eye on them. Regardless of swimming ability/ floatation aids.

My two have never used any sort of flotation device for this reason (and have had swimming ‘lessons’ since a few months old) You’re absolutely right that they lead to a false sense of security. Yes, the tinies have no awareness either way, but at 3+ they will know to be aware of the dangers of water rather than thinking ‘weeeeeeeee!’. I also read about swimming costume colours the other day and will be getting mine brighter colours for next time (no more blues or greens from now on) Yes, as parents we should always be watching them but accidents/distractions do happen so better to reduce risk as much as possible.

I actually think the only really dangerous choice the parents have made is if they've sent three young children over 'for a pool day' with you as sole adult - I don't think that's a ratio I would be happy with.

Some Americans call certain small planes/short routes 'puddle jumpers', but assumed it wasn't that. 🤣

Of course they know that they can’t swim without them!!!
It’s like a child wearing arm bands or using a float, removing them makes them sink!! 🤣
I’m sure a child knows this!!!!

My two both used flotation devices at times, had swimming sessions from being babies, and they absolutely knew by 3 that they would sink if they didn't have armbands on. While I also never trusted to that fact - I would never have left them unsupervised in water at all, ever - I've never encountered a 3 year old who thinks they can swim without armbands when they can't.

The little boy in the awful case OP references didn't jump in, he fell. Never having worn a flotation device wouldn't have changed a thing.

How old are these children?

One of my kids used arm bands always supervised. Both had swimming lessons and both got took swimming regularly with and without arm bands.
They both learnt to swim between age 3 &5years old. They are strong confident swimmers now.
Accidents happen when children are unsupervised by shit parents who have no idea about water safety.
If there parents supervise them and aren’t neglectful parents I wouldn’t say anything.

Could you supply alternative things that are safer? There must be manufacturers that do stuff that's officially recognised as a swim/buoyancy aid. Like the stuff swimming teachers use?

Obviously they should be supervised at all times if they can't swim, or even if they can and they're younger than about 13.

You don't need to be scathing or rude, but you can raise the fact you heard they weren't very safe and just say 'I've got this stuff instead for them'.

Trigg was an unsupervised child who tripped and fell into a pool. His dad was too busy gambling to notice.
It's very different if you're supervising, as anyone should do with kids and water.

Depends on the age- would I pop a 8 month old on one and walk away-no. But I have a 3 y old who cannot yet fully swim and these were invaluable over the summer when staying with family with a private pool. I was within arms reach at all times and had eyes on constantly. But it gave them freedom to play and swim and splash around that they wouldn’t have had if constantly held directly in my arms.

I can’t really afford to get it for all three, it would involve new swimming costumes etc. it just makes me sick to think how they’re not really being swim safe at all.

A valid concern OP, and nothing lost by saying something, perhaps before anyone goes near a pool.

As long as they are always supervised then the puddle jumpers/floatation devices aren’t a problem. I’ve found it’s the false sense of security they give parents that is dangerous.
We regularly use an outside pool throughout the summer, children have to be supervised but most parents are sat around chatting, reading or scrolling through their phones.
My youngest child doesn’t wear any floatation devices, he’ll use a woggle if he needs to. He knows where the pool goes out of his depth and knows what the consequences of jumping in if no one was there, as he knows he would sink…. If I’m not in the pool itself I’m sat on the side watching the whole time whilst he plays with his much bigger brothers, who can stand up/strong swimmers.
We’ve never used arm bands etc all our children attend/attended swimming lessons from tiny and the instructors made it quite clear that floats and woggles were all that were necessary and other things could be dangerous.

It’s not necessarily about supervision, a large proportion of children who drown do so with an adult present. I forget the exact numbers but a proportion will drown with a supervising adult within arms reach. Drowning doesn’t look like how we expect it to, and it happens fast, so teaching water safety is really important rather than relying solely on supervision.