SIL coming on family celebration holiday without her husband. (MNHQ update at OP's request) Now everyone is chatting in their own language and excluding me.

[Timedifference]

So, a few of us are going away to celebrate a big birthday.
SIL is coming without her husband cos he doesn't like flying and the birthday boy has picked an overseas destination.

We go on Thursday. I found out today she's coming.
She tends to monopolise my DH when she's with him - ive got a horrible feeling she'll be whispering in his ear most of the time. I hope im wrong.

AIBU to not look forward to this break anymore?
I don't want her to be lonely but she fusses over him like hes a child and I get shoved to one side.

It is a little more complicated than that in my opinion.

Consistently talking another language in front of you is rude. But if someone objected to me talking to my own family in my native language would be annoying fast.

Talking to my own parents or siblings in to them a foreign language (even if they speak it well) does not lend itself to natural conversation. It can be tricky to navigate as a family.

Have you made any effort to learn at least a few phrases of your husbands’s language OP? Have you talked to him about how to manage/balance it? Maybe work some time for the two of them to catch up one on one in the schedule, then group activities where of course you speak the common language.

Who is birthday boy? Their brother?

If everyone else speaks the same mother tongue, you are being unreasonable OP, sorry. But it sounds like the real issue is not getting on with your husband, not the language or the SIL.

You can't ask a whole family not to speak their native language, it is simply not the same if they are forced to speak English.

But you are not wrong about the walk, just say youre not feeling well enough to go which you would have told them if they'd asked.

Yeah, speaking another language in front of you is just fucking rude. They're deliberately excluding you.

But op could understand if she bothered to learn her dhs family language, like they've all learned English!

@Timedifference have you thought of buying language translator ear buds???

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/shopping?q=tbn:ANd9GcT2ATaKl_Tbcppq-Hw1_XNNoEvGMgajOtAM3zCWr7qzc_cRInXE1xTrSuTyfbS0FFtSu4Voe38ia34cPN4ObyOhzdJgNa4u30gY39mv6LhHXO_wdOuZGoAb

How long have you been married OP? Are your children bilingual or are they also excluded from conversations?

Its Greek and all rhe nieces/nephews are excluded too cos they dont understand enough Greek.

I love this!! Thanks.