SIL coming on family celebration holiday without her husband. (MNHQ update at OP's request) Now everyone is chatting in their own language and excluding me.

[Timedifference]

So, a few of us are going away to celebrate a big birthday.
SIL is coming without her husband cos he doesn't like flying and the birthday boy has picked an overseas destination.

We go on Thursday. I found out today she's coming.
She tends to monopolise my DH when she's with him - ive got a horrible feeling she'll be whispering in his ear most of the time. I hope im wrong.

AIBU to not look forward to this break anymore?
I don't want her to be lonely but she fusses over him like hes a child and I get shoved to one side.

My DHs sode of the family speak fouent English 2nd Language yet when they are together choose theie 1st language ane exclude me. I have also said to him many times how bloody rude it is. As me and my parents are fluent in Arabic and we never use it infeont of him or exclude him even though my Dad prefera Arabic he chooses English to not make my DH feel left out. But my inlaws don't give a crap.

Mixedbananas, that's so similar to my experience.

UPDATE: So we've been here for a few days.
Sister hasn't been a problem but meals are, cos they speak in their own language.
I was going to tell them that by doing this, I'm excluded from the conversation and I find it rude.
Events overtook this: I was told to be ready by 12 today for a booked walk.
I said no-one asked me.
I'm an adult.
Then im told the ticket has been bought.
I said noone asked me before spending the money and im not walking in the heat.

A previous poster was right and I see it clearly now: Ive got a problem with being regarded as a child. Im over 45 FFS!

You sound awkward and like you have an issue with everything.

If I was visiting family and they told me to be ready for 12 as they’d planned a nice walk for us I wouldn’t see it as an issue.

I also don't see the issue with the walk.

You should remind them English please for conversations when you are present.

If the rest of the party speak x language then it’s op that should learn new language or live with not understanding

Absolutely, how arrogant (and embarrassing) to demand the language people speak is yours!

But they all speak English.
They live in London!

Its 35 degrees.
Out late last night.
Out again tonight.

Ive said I get a headache from the sun & heat & need to be in the shade from.12 till 2.

Your choice to stay behind. They've tried to include you.

I’ll repeat….. you sound awkward and like you have an issue with everything.

Are they dragging you along? Are you currently in their home country? @Timedifference ?

We're in a European country- not their home country.
I was told, not asked, be ready for a walk.
They could speak English for that command.

Crikey OP, it sounds like you are having a right time of it ( wherever you are).

Who is the “ birthday boy”?

Is he having fun at least?

I wouldn't go for a walk at midday in 35 degree heat.

Me neither. Utter madness.

I would also have a massive issue with a walk between 12 and 2 in 35 degree heat.

I'd have an even bigger issue with my DH for being so stupid as to go along with it despite knowing I'd find it impossible.

You were invited, you declined. You don't have to walk in the heat fine you don't have to. Why the sulking now?

Hi Enigma.
Birthday Boy is oblivious to this.
I forgot to say it was a tour-walk - ticket apparently paid for in advance.
Apologies for the drip-feed.

You seriously never learned your husband's language?

How would you like it if he came to your house and insisted your chats to your Mum are translated for his benefit? You and all your family sitting around speaking poor quality foreign languages because he refused to learn English. Would that be a acceptable to you?

Wow! The entitlement of monoglot English!

This precisely!

Presumably her DH is perfectly fluent in English, as are the other members of his family.

They made plans from which she was excluded and ordered her to participate.

I'd leave it while you're away , but I'd be having a serious conversation with my DH upon our return, OP. It is rude to chat in another language which excludes a member of the group and it is rude to organise things without talking to you about it.

I can see the OP’s point. Sure, she could learn the language but, in the meantime, everyone is sitting around talking to each other in Greek / Albanian while knowing that the OP can’t understand a word. It’s weird to collectively decide on an activity without making sure that everyone understands what the plan is.

But did they “order” her to participate or is that just the OP viewing things in her dramatic, having an issue with everything way?

”we’ve have a group walking tour booked for 12pm today with everyone.”

isn’t the same as

”we have a group walking tour booked for 12pm today with everyone and you will attend whether you like it or not.”

Bc an he book return seats yet?