How would your husband react to this way of attempting intimacy?

[Klarr]

Dh, kids and I are on holiday with my sister, her husband and children. It’s been lovely. Villa abroad. The kids occupy themselves and the adults get to lounge around the pool/play tennis/take it in turns to go out and about. No one is stressed as it’s pretty easy and relaxed.

Anyway, today I saw DH being really great with the kids - he just sorted everyone out today with breakfast and making sure the kids had all the stuff they needed for today’s big activity. We were ahead of schedule and just milling around.

I was just wanting to show my dh some affection if you know what I mean. So to get a bit of privacy in the bedroom I told dh his mum (who lives abroad to us all) was FaceTimeing on the kids tablet in our room and I couldn’t bring it to him as it was low battery and needing charging. Anyway, he got really annoyed and rejected me when he found out I was making the phone call up and just trying to get a few mins with him alone. Am I crazy that most men would not care AT ALL that I white lied in this scenario.

We moved past it but I just feel really rejected

My DP would have laughed at me and jumped at the chance!

Probably killed the mood a bit with all the talk of his mum 😂

We have a healthy intimate marriage. Nothing ott. And I just thought he would appreciate the spontaneity.

Yeah God, don’t bring his mother into sexy time. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Why not just whisper "let's have sex" or similar?

Just because he’s a man he shouldn’t say no? I think he might have become a bit worried it’s his mum and found out it was just a joke.

mentioning parents is a bit of a passion killer! 😆

I wouldn't have had to ask twice....

Maybe he just didn’t want to have sex.

Imagine it the other way round and the man expected her to just get in the mood..

So you got horny watching your DH with the kids and thought you'd lure him into sex with talk of his mother? Hmmm..

I wouldn’t necessarily refer to it as luring. If dh has said I’m not in the mood that’s fine but to take exception with the white lie was a bit odd.

i tried making eye contact with dh and directing his eyes upstairs but he just didn’t pick up on it.

Honey..your mums on the phone..wink wink😉😉😉

yeah, bit weird.

What's the relationship like with his mum? I don't think my DH would mind a white lie but maybe the thought of a facetime with his mum made him stressed. Even if they have a good relationship he could have thought something bad had happened if he has elderly parents or if it would be unusual of her to facetime at that time of day or when she knows your on holiday.

Maybe he was knackered after looking after the kids all morning!

Spontaneity is good. Bringing his Mum into it when you’re trying to turn him in is not.

Couldn’t you have said you needing him to move a spider or something?

Why the lie though, why can’t you just say fancy a quickie or some alone time?

I think that sometimes if you are in parent mode it can be difficult to just switch that off and move into intimacy mode. It sounds like you were both just on different wavelengths and you caught him off guard. He was focused on the kids and the day ahead that's all.

Using his mom as a sex lure, take the L!

😂

A bit odd, should have just been open about it. If he'd been enthusiastic just imagine the potential embarrassment next time his mother does call and he rushes you to the bedroom.

Probably would have worked with me tbh.

I was about to say the same thing. It would have been a turn off for my dh

OP, you'll both laugh about this later. He'd been running around organising, feeding the kids, his mind wasn't on sex! Don't take it as a rejection. He was taken by surprise. Laugh it off, with him. That's far sexier than 'Mum's on the phone'. Lol.

Think you just went the wrong way about it. He had his mum in mind to speak to then you wanted him to be instantly at it. Not the best foreplay talk 😂

He’d be really weirded out that I’d brought his Mum into the conversation, I’d imagine.