To want to launch the kid who called DD(5) fat into space?

ThomasinaHoskins · 2025-08-10T21:01:07+00:00

She’s five! Just finished Reception, and some dick of a kid (I’m not sorry about referring to him as such) has told her that she’s “not beautiful as she has fat cheeks and a fat arm”. Just the one eh pal? Twit. I don’t know whether I dislike him more for thinking it’s acceptable to say this kind of thing to small girls, or for giving me the headache of trying to address body image earlier than I was hoping to have to do so, and in the middle of the summer hols to boot. Any advice from those who have been through this will other small girls gratefully received.

MyLimeGuide · 10/08/2025 22:04

There's loads of bullying in schools, sadly even in reception. Shit parents probably. Try and trip him up at the next school pick up. He IS a sick BTW. I bet your daughter is beautiful 💖

MyLimeGuide · 10/08/2025 22:04

He is a DICK!!

Katemax82 · 10/08/2025 22:05

My daughters so called best friend at primary triggered her anorexia. I want to launch that bitch into space

Ballykissmangle · 10/08/2025 22:06

Prick.

Thankfully I’ve never been aware of anyone saying something like this to DD but if they did, I’d want to boot them into next week.

sellotapechicken · 10/08/2025 22:06

You are so not unreasonable !

FortheloveofCheesus · 10/08/2025 22:07

Is he also 5? Is your daughter overweight?

Children that young do not really understand the notion of not saying an honest/true comment to save someone's feelings, they are very descriptive about physical things.

My daughter (5) has had various "honest" comments about her size (she's extremely short). I talk about bodies coming in all shapes and sizes and everyone is beautiful.

beadystar · 10/08/2025 22:07

Their entitlement starts early doesn’t it. Little shit.

Thatsnotmynamee · 10/08/2025 22:10

I mean, if he's 5 as well then he's not really going to know what's acceptable to say to small girls. But also I'd be raging with dislike too!

MrsTerryPratchett · 10/08/2025 22:10

I assume he’s 5 as well. In which case it’s learned from adults. They deserve the launching, not him the poor kid.

FortheloveofCheesus · 10/08/2025 22:10

Oh and i tell my own kids its rude to comment on other people's bodies and to only compliment things people can choose and control eg

i love how you've done your hair
that dress looks great
your smile brings me joy (people can choose to smile).
i really like your blue glasses

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 10/08/2025 22:12

Little fucker

Mousehi · 10/08/2025 22:14

At this age it suggests the other child hears this regularly in their home. I would actually just explain that to my dd and that the other child is just lashing out to anyone they can, it's not accurate or personal and it's not nice to comment on people's appearance.

Original poster

ThomasinaHoskins · 10/08/2025 22:15

FortheloveofCheesus · 10/08/2025 22:07

Is he also 5? Is your daughter overweight?

Children that young do not really understand the notion of not saying an honest/true comment to save someone's feelings, they are very descriptive about physical things.

My daughter (5) has had various "honest" comments about her size (she's extremely short). I talk about bodies coming in all shapes and sizes and everyone is beautiful.

Nah, she’s a normal small kid size. I had chubby cheeks as a kid, still have ‘em as an adult, and she’s inherited them from me. They’ll probably serve her well in life up to about age 55-60 when she’ll be pondering a mini-facelift as they head southwards. She definitely doesn’t have one obese arm either, again, normal child-sized arm.

He’s year 1 apparently. I could be more accepting of “you have fat cheeks” because, as you say, might be a clumsy way of describing them, but to add “you’re not beautiful because…” seems a bit of a knob move at age 6.

Editing as DH says he thought Year 2. Either 6 or 7.

OP posts:

LoremIpsumCici · 10/08/2025 22:19

I’d make a joke out of it with my DD. I’d laugh at how he can’t even do an insult right and tell her to steer clear of him.

Boys that tease and bully don’t like the girls they tease and bully (contrary to what we were told growing up)

Barnbrack · 10/08/2025 22:19

If he's 5 then yeah you're unreasonable, kids say all kinds of things to each other (and I'm fat and was a chunky kid and had plenty of comments) is your child overweight? Are you? Are you offended for your own reasons? Do you use the word fat at home? We don't, we don't comment on people's bodies and as a result my eldest never heard the word fat I told p2 at school (not directed at him at that point) and was really surprised it was a thing to insult someone. Thankfully his nursery was as good as the not commenting a we are. His school gave a 3 second. Rule, if someone cant change something about their appearance in 3 seconds or less don't comment. So tell someone their pants are showing above their trousers don't tell them they have chubby cheeks.

I'd start with that when explainubg to your daughter why it was mean and what not to do herself and work on body positivity for her

Dramatic · 10/08/2025 22:19

ThomasinaHoskins · 10/08/2025 22:15

Nah, she’s a normal small kid size. I had chubby cheeks as a kid, still have ‘em as an adult, and she’s inherited them from me. They’ll probably serve her well in life up to about age 55-60 when she’ll be pondering a mini-facelift as they head southwards. She definitely doesn’t have one obese arm either, again, normal child-sized arm.

He’s year 1 apparently. I could be more accepting of “you have fat cheeks” because, as you say, might be a clumsy way of describing them, but to add “you’re not beautiful because…” seems a bit of a knob move at age 6.

Editing as DH says he thought Year 2. Either 6 or 7.

Edited

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He's 6 ffs, I can guarantee your kid will say something not particularly nice to another kid at some point. Yes it's a mean thing to say but surely at 6 it just takes a conversation about how not to speak to people?

Barnbrack · 10/08/2025 22:20

ThomasinaHoskins · 10/08/2025 22:15

Nah, she’s a normal small kid size. I had chubby cheeks as a kid, still have ‘em as an adult, and she’s inherited them from me. They’ll probably serve her well in life up to about age 55-60 when she’ll be pondering a mini-facelift as they head southwards. She definitely doesn’t have one obese arm either, again, normal child-sized arm.

He’s year 1 apparently. I could be more accepting of “you have fat cheeks” because, as you say, might be a clumsy way of describing them, but to add “you’re not beautiful because…” seems a bit of a knob move at age 6.

Editing as DH says he thought Year 2. Either 6 or 7.

Edited

Show quote history

So he's 6? That's a very small kid for you, an adult, to be this angry with

CatsMagic · 10/08/2025 22:21

You can’t control what other people say and how they will interact with your DD, but what you can control is how you raise your daughter - focus on raising your girl to have brilliant self esteem, and the self confidence to not care what other people say.

TY78910 · 10/08/2025 22:25

My 5yo DD tells me I’m not beautiful because I don’t wear a dress only trousers. Somehow dresses to her are the epitome of beauty despite nobody in her immediate circle being ‘dressy’. But of course Ariel wears them, and so does Elsa and princess = beautiful therefore dress = beautiful and trousers = ugly.

I know it’s not quite as emotive as being called fat, but I’m going to go against the grain here and say that kids that age are very literal. DD told me the other day ‘Sofia has a moustache, but she isn’t a boy, she is still a girl’. I told her that comments like that can be rude and she got upset and kept repeating she wasn’t being rude. Now how can I explain that body hair is absolutely fine and nothing to be ashamed of but some people may feel shame if it’s pointed out to a 5 year old?

I know it was a shitty thing to have been said and I would totally be upset if someone said something like that to my girl, but also at that age I would know there was probably no actual malice and I wouldn’t jump to conclusions about their parents either like some posters have said upthread.

Original poster

ThomasinaHoskins · 10/08/2025 22:30

This is barely touching the surface of mildly annoyed right now, panic ye not @Barnbrack

OP posts:

Barnbrack · 10/08/2025 22:31

ThomasinaHoskins · 10/08/2025 22:30

This is barely touching the surface of mildly annoyed right now, panic ye not @Barnbrack

So being mildly annoyed has you wanting to meet someone off planet?

Dramatic · 10/08/2025 22:35

ThomasinaHoskins · 10/08/2025 22:30

This is barely touching the surface of mildly annoyed right now, panic ye not @Barnbrack

I'd hate to see you when you're raging if being barely annoyed makes you want to launch someone else's child and call them a dick

TheWonderhorse · 10/08/2025 22:35

Mildly annoyed and calling a 6 year old a dick? Eesh OP.

amillionandone · 10/08/2025 22:35

Let's be honest, kids can be brats. People don't just turn bad when they reach adulthood, and children can be pretty awful sometimes.

I don't think it will do this particular brat any harm if the mother of the child he insulted allows herself to dislike him intensely. It's not as though she's going to actually try to boot him into space.

I would try not to make too big of a thing of it with your daughter. Just acknowledge that he shouldn't have said that, and she's actually lovely, but sometimes people say unkind things. Apart from this, I would want her to know that she doesn't have to put up with insults. She can come to you with her worries and avoid people who are not nice.

fruitfly3 · 10/08/2025 22:39

I’m channeling my own 5 year old DS here. He’s just started saying to his sister that she’s ‘fat’ - it’s happened about 3 times and I’ve come down very hard on him (I have a history of ED so it’s immediately a trigger - we don’t talk about weight in any context at home). I don’t know where it has come from and he has absolutely no clue as to any of the deeper meaning. But he’s definitely being a dick and did it in a taunting way which makes me feel like he’s heard it somewhere (he wasn’t being literal, his sister is lean). Thanks for sharing - it’s making me think about how to turn this around for him. Kids are so horrible sometimes (and generally, mine isn’t a bad one at all).