To want to launch the kid who called DD(5) fat into space?

[ThomasinaHoskins]

She’s five! Just finished Reception, and some dick of a kid (I’m not sorry about referring to him as such) has told her that she’s “not beautiful as she has fat cheeks and a fat arm”. Just the one eh pal? Twit.

I don’t know whether I dislike him more for thinking it’s acceptable to say this kind of thing to small girls, or for giving me the headache of trying to address body image earlier than I was hoping to have to do so, and in the middle of the summer hols to boot. Any advice from those who have been through this will other small girls gratefully received.

If a kids pointed it out then they must be too
fat.

oh come on!

" dick" "prick" " shit"
He's a five year old .
FIVE.

You have every right to be annoyed, but starting a thread insulting a five year old and encouraging others to do the same is ridiculous.

I'd be casual and dismissive and encourage DD to be the same, because the more said about it the more it will become a thing, when the best result would be for her to be able to swat silly insults away like flies and forget them. Tell DD she hasn't got a fat face and arm, but even if she had, its not important, and if the boy says it to her again she should just say "I don't care what you think about me" and walk away.

What an awful suggestion to trip him up at next school pick up! It's the summer holidays - that's weeks away still 🤷🏼‍♀️ find him in a park, put him in the bin

5 year olds don't know not to say the truth... an older child yes they would know it's nasty, a younger child would not.

And if you think that then you must be too stupid.

I was waiting behind a lady returning some clothes for her 3 year old grand daughter today. She doesn't fit them as 'she's just TOO chunky!' Tinkly laugh. Repeated 3 times. 'Too chunky! Tch!'

I get that it's upsetting your 5 year old has been called fat. But children say all sorts. It's the adults I worry about who teach them this rubbish.

I think there was a 'fucker' in there too.

Yes, YABU.

Yeah, I thought so too.
At first, I thought OP was talking about an adult, not a little kid!!

Scary nowadays how grown adults relate to small children.

FFS, 6 year olds say all kinds of daft things. Just laugh about it. If you turn it into a big deal and start serious conversations about body image with your 5yo she will start to think she really is fat!

My son takes part in competitive sport. One of the other kids kept calling him slow and telling him he's rubbish. He got really down about it. I spoke to the parents and we started meeting up just the two of them on their bikes so they can practice together and get to know each other properly. They're like best mates now. There are other things you can do before getting this angry with a young child.

Well I’m still not convinced that I’m BU for immediately disliking someone, be they 7 or 27, for making my child feel rubbish about herself. Society is going to pull her down in so many different ways before she reaches 18, I was hoping for her to live in blissful innocence for just a little longer.

However I do take onboard advice from PP’s not to make a fuss about it, so won’t be sending her to therapy just yet, and to be more practical by mentally chucking kid in the bin, not space.

And for those saying if a kid is saying these things they must be true so therefore it’s OK to say it, you sound like my mum. There’s a reason we don’t really speak.

Is your child medically overweight? Are you?

Secondly yes it IS unreasonable for disliking a 6 yr old for doing what 6 yr olds do developmentally and very emotionally immature

The OP has already confirmed her daughter isn't overweight.

It's a horribly upsetting comment, maybe even more so as a parent than for the child. But are you sure she's not over weight? You should be able to see a child's ribs until they are 10 at least. People often don't think their child is overweight when medically they are, we are all so used to seeing very overweight people. I've never known young children to call someone fat who isn't so maybe this could be a bit of a wake up call for you?

Honestly, you need to keep things in perspective. When my daughter was younger, I used to drive her to the large town with a leisure centre for gymnastics classes. She was naturally very good. Able to do cartwheels aged 4 and whizzed through the little badges they do. A rather tubby older girl started picking on my daughter and saying she was ugly because her skin was the colour of butter, among other slurs. I did report it in a gentle way (a) my daughter was upset and confused and (b) the girl needed to learn sooner rather than later that racism swings both ways. I honestly she was just parroting what she had heard elsewhere and she needed to be told kindly about behaviour expectations and guided in the right direction. I suggest you approach your daughter’s situation in a similar manner.

I get why you're annoyed, OP, but this child is 6. 6 year-olds often lash out with the first thing that comes into their heads (however illogical or untrue) when they are upset or having a bad day. A 6 year-old doesn't have to be a little shit to do this. They are just being a six year-old. Ok, some kids that age might be kind and lovely at all times, but most aren't.

Also remember that you are bringing adult baggage to your reaction to the word 'fat', as most adults would (especially women). The 6 year-old doesn't understand that - it's just a mean word.

If he’s the same age as her he won’t understand what he’s saying. What he said proves it.

When and where did this happen. As far as I know all uk schools are on holiday at the moment.

Have you been stewing on this for weeks?

An adult calling a 7 year old those names is not acceptable. Teaching your child that we all come in different shapes, sizes and colours and that there are kinder ways of talking to people is great.

Btw, is your child a healthy weight? When was she last weighed and her height measured? We see so many overweight members of society (of all ages) that what we think of as normal can be quite skewed.

I partly blame the mums who are always on a highly publicised diet that they announce at every meal time. The mums who shudder when they try stuff on in the mirror and declare it makes them look too fat. It's not surprising that children of these people learn that fat = bad and then it becomes the default insult when they are annoyed with other kids.

I think he's forgiven for being a twat at 6 years old. This can be a learning experience for him to understand that words hurt and he's not supposed to say something like that. Is there a context? My DS could be rude to kids when he felt hurt that age. Like you don't want to play with me so you're a meanie, ugly whatever. Obviously I pulled him up on it. Just saying that it might not have been a comment out of the blue which can make your dd understand that he was saying vile things that he doesn't really mean because he was hurt. Not excusing him though, he should have a Stern talking to by school/his parents.

The key lesson to teach your daughter - beauty comes form within and it is a far better thing to be kind than to be physically attractive.

Just say he's being silly, making it into sonething it isn't and over reacting will have more of an impact on your dd.