To think a lot of children may be being misdiagnosed with Autism & Adhd

[Dontyoujustlovethebritishsummertime]

When it could really be Pans/pandas?

I had the same problem. There's been a huge push for awareness that many autistic girls are high masking. Which is true. But there are some girls that have more typical male autism symptoms and vice versa. The focus on gender and symptoms has gone too far I think.

I have two very high masking boys. One diagnosed, one awaiting assessment. It's been a nightmare to get to this point because they are well behaved and quiet but holding in hige anxiety (with typical meltdown behaviours at home).

Girls are statistically proven to be disadvantaged

People are not making this up or saying no boys get missed or all kids don’t present differently

I am not citing anecdotal evidence based on one child, this is well researched

What we are saying is the systems do not work well for children who do not ‘typically’ present and that’s known to be more likely in females. There is far lower diagnosis of EUPD in men than women, so even the boys who get missed as young children do not end up in ED units with EUPD diagnosis which has a stigma attached to it. It’s more socially acceptable for women to be labelled as histrionic and unstable and this has been the case for a long time.

There is no way I would be advocating for more children to be diagnosed with personality disorders.

FFS

Non diagnosed autistic / ADHD people are labelled ALL THE DAMN TIME.

Either as coping fine when they're not just from achieving grades while they die a little inside in the process

Or as rude, or not trying hard enough, or dramatic, attention seeking, aggressive, many many other things

The absence of a diagnostic label does not mean they are going through life un-labelled: it's the EXACT OPPOSITE

Most people SHED their most hurtful and unhelpful labels when they get an official diagnosis

A diagnosis didn't absolve me from accountability either it just allowed me to focus on working on the things that were changeable, and accept the things that weren't

I was NOT doing much self improvement when I was trying to fit in ways I never could.

Once I recognised and accommodated that, I could improve the parts that were just behavioural.

Without an official diagnosis I could never do that. Because part of the trauma of being undiagnosed is always having your distress minimised and even mocked and judged. So I always doubted myself if I felt I had needs or illnesses etc. So you end up turning the gaslighting in on yourself to make yourself less of a problematic complainer.

So quietly recognising that I might be Au, without the official label, was never ever going to work for me

Of course there's still people who will react to people finally learning to communicate their experiences and needs as "making excuses". But now, I internalise that less.

@SkylarFalls There's a difference between autism/adhd and personality disorders though. Diagnosing children with autism or adhd is obviously fine because they are neurodevelopmental conditions which are present from early childhood. But I dont think that in most cases it is a good idea to label a child as having a personality disorder such as eupd.

Just let them wonder why they feel so different?

Whist their BEHAVIOURS get plenty of labels?

Yes girls are statistically hugely underdiagnosed. But the best way to ensure no one goes under the radar is to widen awareness of how autism can present in all its different forms - not just outdated gender based assumptions.

A diagnosis is only helpful if it is the correct diagnosis

To add - for high masking boys the histrionic label is given to the mums instead. Which is just as big an issue. I was sent on a parenting course recently. Nearly all mums of high masking boys.

Yes this is super common

It’s not outdated gender assumptions it’s backed by statistics and data. Obviously not all stats are perfectly linear but no, this is not how you solve a gender related issue ‘don’t forget the boys as well everyone!’

Females are significantly disadvantaged in all walks of healthcare but yet we are still advocating ‘better care for some of the boys too who could get missed’ this is not how it works. Girls are harming themselves badly due to lack of proper care and misdiagnosis. Girls are statistically at much higher risk of harm due to this issue. It’s a female issue and we shouldn’t sweep it up under the carpet.

Girls are expected to behave a certain way in society and get labelled with harmful or derogatory terms when they are not fitting in society the right way. They get continually treated badly often resulting in more trauma. Most women experience sexual assault in their lives at some point. Autistic girls are very vulnerable and they are not seen or heard properly in society it’s not right

and yes, as a mum of any child with ND, your parenting as a female is heavily questioned and you are expected to demonstrate to everyone that you are not the issue. My child’s father was not asked to do anything

Exactly the same here.

I think you are deliberately misunderstanding my point.

Autism is a spectrum of symptoms. Initially autism was thought to only affect boys, and therefore the list of symptoms was only based on boys. Boys of very specific types.

We now know that the ways that autism can show are much more varied. This isnt just a gender issue, but also looking at how different ND conditions interact. For example presentation of a child with ADHD and autism together, or a child with a PDA profile of autism are very different from classic autism with LD.

What is needed is an increased awareness of how the various ND conditions can manifest. This also has the helpful positive impact on women and girls in particular.... just not excluding others who present in an atypical manner (which could be male or female).

@sunshine244 just because there is a spectrum for autism doesn’t mean this isn’t a gender issue. It is literally a gender issue. The issue isn’t that the same amount of boys and girls can get missed through the net, it is that overwhelmingly it is girls who are missed and delayed and misdiagnosed and their parents (mothers) are ignored. This is not happening to large numbers of boys.

All genders can be autistic

Boys are more likely to be diagnosed as autistic than girls, and much earlier

This is not just due to different presentations which I outlined

Here are some stories from real women about this female issue;

www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/identity/autistic-women-and-girls

Males are not being dismissed from healthcare like women are for being ‘anxious’ I read this dismissive experience from women on mumsnet every 30 seconds or more

Sigh.... there's a massive difference between the current push to have girl vs boy symptoms, or a gender inclusive system that support everyone.

if I started a poll on AIBU asking women if they had ever felt dismissed by health care or at school for being ‘anxious’ or overthinking, when it wasn’t anxiety it would have 1,000 posts and votes by the end of the day with everyone’s stories.

if I started a poll on AIBU asking women if they had ever felt dismissed by health care or at school for being ‘anxious’ or overthinking, when it wasn’t anxiety it would have 1,000 posts and votes by the end of the day with everyone’s stories.

This doesn’t work. Because people do not treat males and females equally. You aren’t going to make some special space in autism where misogyny and sexism isn’t valid or real

it’s a nice idea in an ideal world but not based in reality

This is the sort of thing that is damaging. It's not helpful at all.

@sunshine244 no it isn’t helpful but you can’t really answer the problem I posed that all females are treated poorly in healthcare especially relating to mental health, and even their physical health is attributed to women being anxiously neurotic

how autism diagnosis is going to eliminate the gender barriers and issues to create equality? The girls cannot GET to the diagnostic pathway.

The answer is to focus on the symptoms. If a child, regardless of gender, has unexplained anxiety or sensory issues or friendship issues etc etc then autism should be considered.

Anyway, we can agree to disagree.

Same here too. My ds wasn't diagnosed until early teens. We saw early signs but were always dismissed because he was quiet and well behaved.