To find this so rude and awkward?

[Mightymaniac1]

Would love some other opinions as it’s one of those times where I feel it makes my parents look bad- so I feel I can’t speak to anyone about it in real life!

Currently living with my parents for a short period before moving back into our house in the next week. They have been renovating their house which is in a lovely cul de sac. Think beautiful houses which are all very neatly kept with their grass etc.

They are away on holiday at the moment and my myself and my partner have been staying at their house. Their elderly parent has been very unwell so we have been visiting daily and my partner has helped me picking up drugs and administering it to my grandparent- this is adding a little bit to my frustration of the situation which is why I am adding it as a detail… bear with me!

Today there is a communal party being held at the grass square of the cul de sac they live at. Whilst being abroad (and whilst he has been helping me and looking after the house) my parents have texted me asking me to get my partner to move his work van off their drive way and to another lane. Presumably so it doesn’t ’spoil the look’ of their driveway on this garden party day.

so… AIBU to find this completely ridiculous and rude? Bear in mind said van has been most gratefully used to:
-pick up furniture for them recently
-house tools to do various works around the house for them

It feels as though they are embarrassed to have a van on their drive… they have had several vans on their drive way whilst their house was being renovated. I felt absolutely awful asking my fiance to hide his van down the road when he has not only been helping me with the emotional load of poorly grandparents but also lots of help for my parents to renovate this house.

I don’t want to fall out with them and would love to see another perspective which I genuinely hope I’m missing!

Thank you in advance for reading. :(

I do not give permission for this to be circulated on any news sites.

I do not give permission for this to be circulated on any news sites.

Personally I don’t know why you shared it on MN at all. You could have shopped it around the tabloids to see who stumped up the biggest offer for the world exclusive.

Not that lazy 😝

I think most people move their cars for street parties?

I probably wouldn’t marry a man who a) would be offended by this request or b) I didn’t feel able to have an honest ‘my parents are loopy but…’ conversation with.

Some of these replies just seem totally weird to me.

I could understand a request to move the van if it was parked on the road and would be in the way but it's on the driveway.

Surely street parties are all about neighbours getting together, having fun and enjoying each other's company.

What's with the fuss about "aesthetics" for photos. Is it because people live their lives on social media? The comments about work vans not looking nice in suburban streets are very Margo from the Good Life.

Thank fuck I've never lived anywhere where people are so snobby.

Yawn. Move the van.

I think you are being unreasonable but maybe you're projecting some worries you have about your parents' relationship with your partner onto this situation?

I don't see this as them being embarrassed of the van - after all they aren't generally unhappy with it being there. They just want to be considerate towards their neighbours who are having a street party. Perhaps other neighbours have previously been asked to move cars or vans, and your parents would stand out if they didn't do the same thing.

Its not clear whether you are staying at their house to help them out with their renovation, or whether they are doing you a favour whilst something is going on with your house? But either way, I feel the same.

Get over yourselves and move the van

What's the harm?

Move it, don’t move it. Make a decision. What’s really sad in posting about it on MN.

If it's just because they think the van 'lowers the tone', I'd be mildly annoyed. It's rather a snobbish thing to worry about to the point of asking for it to be moved. However, as they are doing you a favour by letting you stay in their home, I'd probably do it to keep the peace.

Your partner is helping you care for your grandparent out of love for you, not your parents, so I don't think that has much bearing on the situation.

It’s totally reasonable to ask to move a van off drive way! I don’t understand why you think it isn’t. They are just being considerate of their neighbours. I imagine if you had a caravan or multiple cars etc they’d ask the same.
I often ask my DP to do this as I know it bothers neighbours. Cul de sacs work like that - it’s not awful just a part of living there. Just tell your fiancé to move van please. Easy.

The request to move the van could have had nothing to do with either snobbishness or aesthetics but instead concern for OP's partner's van. Footballs and cricket balls don't stop in mid-flight when they encounter a private driveway. Neither do little kids racing around on bikes/scooters.

See how everything changes when you look at things from a different point of view @Mightymaniac1?

I’ll double whatever they offer OP… please contact me

Tbh, I hate to see a transit van on a drive at any time, I’m with your parents. They have to live there and it’s their neighbours, just love it for the day.

it’s one of those times where I feel it makes my parents look bad

I hope, after reading all the replies saying YABU, you realise that it isn’t your parents who look bad making the perfectly reasonable request.

Move the van

She said they're waiting to move into one.

Where did the OP say that?

She said they were living at her parents and moving back into their house.

I do not give permission for this to be circulated on any news sites.

Haha

Move the van. They dont want the van in any photos of the day. Move it.

Just move the van OP. It's no big deal. Yeah, your fiance might huff and puff a bit (men usually do) but if he goes beyond that then reconsider your relationship.

You should contact the newspapers yourself, you could earn yourself £50 and get a mugshot of you both in the local paper stood next to the tone lowering work van pulling sad faces.

I think YABU. Maybe they want space on the driveway for guests to park there?

Just move it, no problem

I've seen more boring stories on our local TV news, so I think this really should be in the national papers.

Move the fucking van 🙄

It was moved as soon as they messaged- not sure why people need to swear in responses to me, makes me feel great about this community!