To feel incredibly sad when i see little boys in the playground weidling plastic machine guns

[lucyellensmum]

This has always baffled me, even before i became a parent. What is it about human nature that has us wanting to play killing games at such a young age?? I mean, its not a new phenomenon is it - so now its gangsta and whatever it might be called, when i was young it was cowboys and indians. WTF?? Why do toy manufacturers still do this? There are CHILDREN being killed by guns in this country and it appears to be a major problem. I don't know if playing with guns naturally leads to this, i mean, im sure 99% of perfectly nice little boys play with guns and they don't grow up to be gangstas and murderers. But WHY do people think this is OK??

We constantly teach our children that it is NOT OK to hit and be spiteful. But then we say, ah, but its ok to pretend to kill each other?????

I don't have a boy, i have two girls so thankfully havent had to have grandparents etc buy them toy guns and army tanks, i would probably just give in and let them have them for an easy time, but it would make me uncomfortable. But am i being unreasonable, it is just human nature so natural play? ITs the same with play station, i do think that has a lot to answer for though.

but even if parents don't buy guns or are dead against them etc etc boys and sometimes girls will still find a way to fashion a gun out of lego/sticks etc etc

am pretty certain people don't think this is ok

I don't think that young boys actually have the concept of killing and maiming sorted in their heads.
I think it's more oplay-fighting, which I don't have a problem with at all.
I don't think I would actually buy my sons toy guns but I wouldn't freak out if they pretended something else was one either

my dd3 would play with toy guns given half a chance

misdee you are right, its not just a boy thing, but having a girl just means that the GPS prefer to buy her barbie dolls [puke]. I seem to remember running around my alley when i was a child, with a stick gun. This is clearly a natural part of development then? But WHY?? Does it track back to our ancestors? Some sort of inherited memory or pathway?

If you only have girls you won't appreciate the boy thing. I have a friend with boy and girl 18 mths apart, she brought them up the same but-the boy was very boyish-construction toys-bike-physical-the girl was dolls and dressing up-she was horrified but there was nothing she could do!
I have 3 boys and was anti guns and fighting. They made guns out of duplo, even toast! They have grown up OK and are very peace loving teenagers.It is just a characteristic of boys! If bored they wrestle for fun!!

Children will make a gun out of anything, They will make a gun out of lego, k'nex, sticks, bits of wire, sand (at a push) and cushions, fingers.

Yes, you can take the toy gun away, but you cannot lead a small child's mind away from guns. The excitement of shouting BANGBANGBANG then your mate has to fall over and not get up for 3 seconds! The power of pointing it at little old ladies and they pretend to be terrified!

Children play vampires, ghosts, zombies, car crashes, motorbike crashes, cops and robbers, cowboys, and armies. Children have played games like this since the beginning of civilization, appropriate to their time and culture. We are (sadly) a warlike, confrontational species, so it IS natural that out children should play warlike confrontational games.

You see less of this in cultures where children work, and hunt, and gut animals - perhaps because the need to make a mark on the world in a real adult way is being met.

You can stop children playing with toy guns but you will never stop them playing games with death in. It's the way they make sense of a terrifying thing and it would be very unhealthy to suppress it.

colditz that is a good post, still makes me a little sad though.

I'm off to buy DD a pretend Ouzi - i mean, i wouldnt want to gender stereotype would i?

We don't really have any guns - the boys still make guns and shoot each other. It's boys. Just like all 6 year old boys see to wrestle. Which I find bizarre as well.

why does it make you sad? It's just a reflection of their evolutionary heritage imo.

Honestly take away all toys, ban all tv etc and boys will still wrestle. It's what they do. Even ds2 who has always been a bit hands off and wussy can't help himself now (he's 6)

oh ha ha just seen abbeys post- the wrestling thing is bizarre isn't it. even severely autistic ds1 likes to wrestle.

wrestling thing is not at all bizarre if you imageine young children as young animals...think back to all those nature programmes, tiger cubs, etc.

I have 2 boys and while I appreciate they will make a gun out of a banana, I will not personally buy them 'guns' which look like guns.
Evolution and survival is one thing. So is using your imagination as a child to play games which might be qustionable as an adult but are part of normal childhood development.

Encouraging children that guns are a game, and are fun is quite another thing. IMHO.

jimjams - it makes me sad cos im a idealist and think we should all love each other more I do know its perfectly natural and tried to word my OP as a curiosity thing, as that is all it is. Im sure there is a psychological reason for it too.

Interestingly though, if we were to extrapolate the boy girl thing to adulthood. Then all women should be fluffy caring types, staying home and caring for the family (thats what i do, although im qutie butch) and men should be out there killing the mammoths??

Ds2 got guns with his Cow boy dress up outfit.
Like other have said they make guns out of anything. Even their fingers.

Children playing imaginative games roleplay the bad as well as the good. You can't force them to pretend that nothing bad ever happens. And as others have said, most kids who point sticks at each other and shout 'Bang!' grow up to be perfectly civilised and healthy. So get over yourself, basically.

dd1 and dd2 currently play a game where one sets the other one 'on fire' and then they are put in jail

god only knows where this comes from

no pretend gun play as yet

I agree it is sad, we haven't ever bought DS1 guns nor have we encouraged agressive play.
However, he picks up sticks and pretends to shoot with them, his latest is to wander round saying how badly he is going "to damage" me, his brother, his friends.
He has a couple of friends who have toy soldiers and guns and he loves playing with them.
I am just hoping that as he gets older it is something he walks away from.

OP, I just knew you must be a mum of girls when I read your post LOL. I felt exactly the same before I had sons. For four years, I held out against toy guns but it was pointless. As others have pointed out, they just make them out of sticks and Lego or just point their fingers instead. I have absolutely no idea where mine got the idea from as the only television they ever saw was CBeebies and no guns there. In the end, I gave up and allowed them to have a couple of plastic guns. I don't like it and I still ask them to point them at things rather than people but it's just something about boys. I console myself with the thought that DH and my brother and all the other boys I grew up with all played with guns and they've all grown up to be responsible, caring adults. Not a gun-toting gangster among the lot of them. I think it would probably do more harm than good to try to suppress this tendency in boys. Doesn't mean I have to like it, though.

Did anyone see gunny on peep show?

sorry nothing to contribute but pmsl at the image of AbbeyA's boys making guns from toast!

I used to have the same ideals when my DS was little - used to look at all the older boys playing aggressive looking games and inwardly tut!

Now that I have an 8yo DS I live my life with a different kind of reality We now have the arsenal of varying weaponry stashed around his bedroom!

He is still the same little boy inside though - he is no more or less aggressive even now that a few years of play fighting has passed.

I have long changed my view of this kind of anti-boys mentality. I'm now fervently of the opinion that as a society we are emasculating our young males rather than supporting them in developing into responsible men who can manage their (inate I fear) aggression.

Teaching a child how to manage aggression and how to control impulsive behaviour is critical aspect of parenting a boy I think. Toy guns, wrestling matches play a part in this I believe.

YABU. Kids, especially boys, will make guns out of anything. It's roel plat,. not real and boys need to manage their agression - role play is a great way to do it. Just pretending boys are not agressive and like conflct resoluition games will only make thinsg worse for that boy. YOu can still teach them it's bad to bully, but that it's okay to defend yourself - and girls for that matter.

I only have a dd, but if I had a son I probably wouldn't buy him a toy gun.

However, my daughter does have a water pistol and is pretty tom-boyish in her play.

I personally don't think it is anything to worry about too much unless a child starts torturing guinea pigs or something ...

My brother used to dress up as Robin Hood (or James Bond depending on his mood) and role-play killing Guy of Gisborne's troops/Russian spys in the most brutal and revolting ways imaginable ... he is now a Guardian-reading poet/pacifist ...

DS1 picked up a barbie, spread the legs at a ninety degree angle and fired it like a gun. What can you do?

role play, I mean

well.....before I had my sons I too was of the mindset that guns are an evil toy, not haivng my sons having something so awful that promotes 'death', even pretend style etc etc........was rather smug about it too TBH.

I now have two boys........

and they make guns out of lego, sticks, loo roll inserts, crusts of bread, carrots, any damn bloody thing they choose really!!!!

sooooooo

I am not of the opinion that you can ban them anymore.....yes guns are violent and not really an ideal toy, but at the end of the day, many kiddies make violent games up all the time anyway, it helps them make sense of the world I guess, and it does not mean, in any way, that buying a gun for your son/daughter means they will grow up into a maniac!

my kiddies currently like to set up their cars for major crashes, death and destruction.......