To feel incredibly sad when i see little boys in the playground weidling plastic machine guns

[lucyellensmum]

This has always baffled me, even before i became a parent. What is it about human nature that has us wanting to play killing games at such a young age?? I mean, its not a new phenomenon is it - so now its gangsta and whatever it might be called, when i was young it was cowboys and indians. WTF?? Why do toy manufacturers still do this? There are CHILDREN being killed by guns in this country and it appears to be a major problem. I don't know if playing with guns naturally leads to this, i mean, im sure 99% of perfectly nice little boys play with guns and they don't grow up to be gangstas and murderers. But WHY do people think this is OK??

We constantly teach our children that it is NOT OK to hit and be spiteful. But then we say, ah, but its ok to pretend to kill each other?????

I don't have a boy, i have two girls so thankfully havent had to have grandparents etc buy them toy guns and army tanks, i would probably just give in and let them have them for an easy time, but it would make me uncomfortable. But am i being unreasonable, it is just human nature so natural play? ITs the same with play station, i do think that has a lot to answer for though.

Chandon, totally agree about the dangers of Barbie...and Bratz. But that's just cos they're yukky and pink and purple and stuff....and of course, totally non-representative of our multi-shaped culture and sexist/stereotypically wrong on every level.

(just thought I'd show how totally logical and balanced I am about this whole toys debate )

Thank GAWD dd doesn't show any attraction for either...but if she did I'd try not to worry too much about it.

As it is she's keen on cuddly toys which goes against just about every fibre of my being. And my mil likes them/owns them and she's a grown up. God I LOATHE cuddlies. And DD's room is totally buried in them. Aggie and that other woman on how clean is your house would have a field day in her bedroom. Well, in my whole house, actually. Maybe I should have played with more Barbies when I was younger? Then I could have been the compliant stereotype of the large breasted blonde, instead of being the stereotypical big boobied dobber that I sadly have become...

IME mothers of girls are sometimes horrified by all this stuff.

My sister certainly is.

She watches in barely-disguised horror as my two boys wrestle around in the garden, or tie each other up with the hosepipe.

She gasps with worry as they narrowly avoid kebabing each other with garden canes.

And tuts, alongside my mother (who has 3 x DDs) as the boys play 2-player Lego Star Wars and shout fighty talk at each other.

I was also someone who assumed I would ban all weaponry from my children; then I had two boys.

And after DS2 endured much sustained and damaging verbal bullying at school, I came to the conclusion that there are worse things in life than allowing boys to let off steam and play imaginatively in a physical way.

DS2 was crushed and battered by the bullying, and no-one lay a finger on him.

No one has ever properly hurt him with a light sabre or a pirate sword to date.

I'd choose a pretend weapon over a vicious and unkind comment any day.

to the OP, v obvious you don't have boys!

my ds is 3 and obsessed with guns, even though he doesn't and has never owned one/watched gun stuff on TV?PC - unfortunately it is part of human nature, how else do you think war comes about? As Hobbes said - "life is nasty, brutish and short".

That is true humphrey. All of it but especially the mothers of girls thing.

Before I had children I used to dread visiting our friends with 2 little boys - it used to be all about farts and shouting and hitting each other with stuff. I assumed it must be my problem. Until I had a boy and realised that really was what it was like. Even my DD (middle child) has learnt to be a bit like that. Self-defence I think and I refuse to stop her joining in just because she's a girl.

Ages ago I used to help run a M and T group. At the time I only had dd.

We used to put out a wide range of toys, 'Boys' and 'Girls' but no wepons at all. I saw two little boys, who must have been under 3 picking up some dolls, 'Awww' I thought to myself, 'How sweet, this is what happens if you give boys the 'right' toys to play with'

Within seconds they were using the dolls as swords!

Humphrey - you are so right. I used to teach and there was a poem along the lines of 'sticks and stones can break my bones but words can hurt forever'- The last bit is wrong and I wish I could find it but it basically describes how a cut can heal but harsh words stay inside us.
Hugs to your DS.

I thougt it was 'sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me'

Thanks, Sniffy.

By SoupDragon on Mon 02-Jun-08 13:25:36
I find it incredibly sad to see little girls playing with ironing boards and other such stuff. Point taken soupy, BUT when i was being PFB about DD (you know, when she was weeks old) i went the whole, shes not having girls toys which push domesticity - but she is the proud owner of an early learning centre cooker, a hoover (a barbie one god help me!!) and she loves pink.

PLEASE CAN I SAY : I LOVE LITTLE BOYS SO I DO, I DID REGRET STARTING THIS THREAD FOR FEAR OF CAUSING OFFENCE, BUT....ive found it really interesting and have actually changed my mind completely and can't wait to take DD to laser rush when she is old enough

"but she is the proud owner of an early learning centre cooker, a hoover (a barbie one god help me!!) and she loves pink"

See, that shows the whole thing that's wrong. It's OK for girls to be "girls" but it's not OK for boys to be "boys".

I know you've changed your view though

FWIW, I don't have realistic gun in the house. I have obvious toy guns (water pistols, laser guns that sort of thing) and sword but in my mind that's fantasy violence. I wouldn't stop them playing with realistic toy weapons but I don't buy them.

BabyDragon has access to all the boy toys and a few girl ones thrown in. She plays with all equally.

Spanky - the poem was a play on that well known verse. Will try and find it.

I think totally - playing with guns and running around was always such a laugh - did no harm I really think it is being part of a boy. The strange thing is my wife's cousin banned her boys from having play guns tanks ect, and now her oldest has just won his Green beret - and heads off to Afgan in October.