Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not sure how to respond

34 replies

Fashionista22 · 09/08/2025 20:26

I’m not quite sure how to respond to this situation and am curious what others think..

Just had an argument before husband started driving DC didn’t really know and was happily looking out the window while I’m sitting in the back too. He asks DC a question but they didn’t respond as they’re distracted. He asked me if they’re ok several times, I said yeah fine, every time, I did wonder why he kept asking, not sure what else I can say? Then he pulled over over to check..! I was shocked, why didn’t he take my word and why would I be sitting saying nothing if not?! AIBU to feel like this is a huge lack of trust?

OP posts:
Changingplace · 09/08/2025 20:29

What a weird thing for him to do, did he think you were lying? What did he think was happening that he needed to pull over?

Does he usually overreact?

beetr00 · 09/08/2025 20:30

@Fashionista22 because he was concerned and you were being dismissive?

Does that resonate?

vincettenoir · 09/08/2025 20:32

I don’t think it’s about you tbh. He seemed to be genuinely concerned for whatever reason. Maybe he thought you dc was choking or struggling to breathe and that’s why they couldn’t talk.

Original poster
Fashionista22 · 09/08/2025 20:34

Not really, he’s never done anything like this before and he’d have no reason to question, if anything I’m overprotective and over worry about DC.

Yeah I do think he thought I was lying as he kept asking. He doesn’t think he did anything wrong…

OP posts:
Pollqueen · 09/08/2025 20:37

Sorry, totally irrelevant, but who was sitting in the front passenger seat?

Original poster
Fashionista22 · 09/08/2025 20:38

I wasn’t being that dismissive and I was in the back too next to DC, if that was the case I wouldn’t have been saying she’s fine

OP posts:
Original poster
Fashionista22 · 09/08/2025 20:39

Pollqueen · 09/08/2025 20:37

Sorry, totally irrelevant, but who was sitting in the front passenger seat?

No one, just the three of us

OP posts:
SunsetCocktails · 09/08/2025 20:40

He’s concerned about his child, for whatever reason, and you see it as a huge lack of trust? Unless he does this kind of thing regularly I’d just shrug and move on. No big deal.

beetr00 · 09/08/2025 20:42

Fashionista22 · 09/08/2025 20:38

I wasn’t being that dismissive and I was in the back too next to DC, if that was the case I wouldn’t have been saying she’s fine

Ok, but he was concerned enough to double check?

Do you always sit in the back with your daughter or....

tilypu · 09/08/2025 20:44

Why do you feel you need to respond?

He wasn't convinced by your answers. He wanted to check for himself. If you were concerned for your child, and you weren't convinced by his answers, wouldn't you do a double check? I know I would!

Moveoverdarlin · 09/08/2025 20:44

I don’t understand the fuss to be honest. You were shocked that he pulled over? Why? The child wasn’t answering and you were being dismissive. So he wanted some answers.

I often pull over if the children are playing up and it lets them know I’m serious. I’ll say ‘we’re not going anywhere until you can be nice’.

You’re making out he pulled over, stripped naked and started singing. Providing it was safe, I can’t see the big deal. Nothing is more irritating than being ignored and ‘fine’ probably wasn’t really cutting it.

Can’t imaging thinking twice about it really.

NightsinthegardensofSpain · 09/08/2025 20:45

Did you ask why he felt the need to pull over?

Original poster
Fashionista22 · 09/08/2025 20:51

That’s interesting, yes I certainly would pull over if I wasn’t convinced by his answers but I would hope that what ever answer he gives, he would do something if there was an issue so I don’t have the need to pull over

That he thought I would sit there for a couple of minutes (from when he first asked to when he pulled over) and not even check, regardless of whether he was convinced by my answers, implies that he thought he couldn’t trust me to even check

OP posts:
SunsetCocktails · 09/08/2025 20:56

How old is the child? When your husband asked them a question why didn’t you say “child, daddy just asked you a question” seeing as you were sat right next to them?

vincettenoir · 09/08/2025 21:02

Maybe your dh was being a bit paranoid but for whatever they were genuinely worried. The moment has passed. I wouldn’t now make this about how this has hurt your feelings and how you might retaliate about that.

Tetchypants · 09/08/2025 21:04

How old is the child and why were you sitting in the back?

WhiteNoiseBlur · 09/08/2025 21:06

I imagine he was being passive aggressive because he was pissed off that he wasn’t getting a response and was being ignored?

beetr00 · 09/08/2025 21:11

Fashionista22 · 09/08/2025 20:51

That’s interesting, yes I certainly would pull over if I wasn’t convinced by his answers but I would hope that what ever answer he gives, he would do something if there was an issue so I don’t have the need to pull over

That he thought I would sit there for a couple of minutes (from when he first asked to when he pulled over) and not even check, regardless of whether he was convinced by my answers, implies that he thought he couldn’t trust me to even check

you are being somewhat evasive @Fashionista22

You know, there's more to this than you're alluding to, so I don't think any of us can really "help", if, understanding the situation is actually what you'd like to process?

PamIsAVolleyballChamp · 09/08/2025 21:17

Oh am all confused! You've 2 threads!!

beetr00 · 09/08/2025 21:20

PamIsAVolleyballChamp · 09/08/2025 21:17

Oh am all confused! You've 2 threads!!

could you link to the other @PamIsAVolleyballChamp?

Original poster
Fashionista22 · 09/08/2025 21:35

beetr00 · 09/08/2025 21:11

you are being somewhat evasive @Fashionista22

You know, there's more to this than you're alluding to, so I don't think any of us can really "help", if, understanding the situation is actually what you'd like to process?

Show quote history

That’s literally all there is to it

OP posts:
Original poster
Fashionista22 · 09/08/2025 21:35

beetr00 · 09/08/2025 21:20

could you link to the other @PamIsAVolleyballChamp?

Show quote history

Yes please do, didn’t mean to post two if I did

OP posts:
Original poster
Fashionista22 · 09/08/2025 21:36

WhiteNoiseBlur · 09/08/2025 21:06

I imagine he was being passive aggressive because he was pissed off that he wasn’t getting a response and was being ignored?

I said I replied every time he asked

OP posts:
buswankerbabe · 09/08/2025 21:44

You are being evasive right now by ignoring questions on why you were sitting in the back of the car and what age your child is. If this is how you evade pertinent questions then I’m not surprised he wasn’t sure if you’d checked and felt the need to pull over.

Swipe left for the next trending thread