Not sure how to respond

[Fashionista22]

I’m not quite sure how to respond to this situation and am curious what others think..

Just had an argument before husband started driving DC didn’t really know and was happily looking out the window while I’m sitting in the back too. He asks DC a question but they didn’t respond as they’re distracted. He asked me if they’re ok several times, I said yeah fine, every time, I did wonder why he kept asking, not sure what else I can say? Then he pulled over over to check..! I was shocked, why didn’t he take my word and why would I be sitting saying nothing if not?! AIBU to feel like this is a huge lack of trust?

You’re playing games here…. The same as you are in the car. Take a look in the mirror not at the driver!

Driver asks child a question. Child does not answer. Non-driver sitting next to the child does not encourage child to answer or reprimand them for being rude. I'd stop the car too. And then go home and teach the child some manners whilst wondering why I'm married to and had a child with someone who doesn't seem concerned by the child having no manners.

Why on earth did you not parent your child and get them to reply to the question?

sorry double post

I’m not proud of this but if I reply “fine” to a question it normally means something else. In the situation you describe it might mean “of course DC is ok you twat but I am still fucking livid with you” in which case pulling over to talk might be the right course of action regardless of how many times I replied “fine”

What is your communication with DH normally like? How old is child (old enough to talk as he expected a response from them, but for some reason you felt the need to sit in the back with them, so maybe young?) and are they usually able to respond verbally to a normal question?

I'm just thinking if the driver spoke to my child and I heard it but the child didn't, I'd probably say to the child 'hey child, dad asked you a question' in a friendly tone. If they still didn't reply, and I was sitting next to them, I'd get their attention with a friendly tap on the leg/arm and say again 'dad asked you a question, did you hear it?'

Or if DH asked me if DC was OK, I'd say something like 'yeah, they're fine, just distracted/asleep/looking out the window'. So more than just a single word answer.

If this all played out with DH saying something, neither you or DC responding until he directed the 'are they ok?' question to you. Then you just gave a one word answer of yes or fine without any further explanation, that sounds like you are all not really talking to each other and there are bigger things going on than just this conversation.

Strange for him to pull over but sounds like it was all a bit of a weird non conversation prior to the pulling over.

Exactly this - OP’s behaviour is passive aggressive and then acting innocent

Sounds more like quite serious anxiety to me, rather than a lack of trust in you- he should talk to someone.

You are massively overreacting! Are you trying to cause an argument with dh.

No it isn't.

What happened when he pulled over? Did he get out, open the back door and talk to DC to find out what's wrong? Or did he just glance over his shoulder.
What did he THINK was wrong - surely you asked him?

And, as pp have said, why didn't you encourage your child to respond to their dad?

It does rather sound as if you and DC are in the habit of "tuning him out" and he got fed up with it.