To be so sick of being broke?

[PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock]

This is pretty much just a moan really. I'm already doing everything I can to try and improve our situation financially. Although nothing's working atm. 😑

Both DH and I work full-time, on minimum wage. Me 45 hours per week, him between 40-50 depending on the week. And we still can't make ends meet. I'm talking having about £50 left in the bank 2 days after payday because all the bills have come out.

Not entitled to any benefits as earn too much for UC (on MW? 😐). Kids are grown up (22 and 18) but still living at home. DD1 is in college and on UC and waiting to see if she's entitled to PIP for her autism. DD2 is starting uni next month and works part-time herself.

I'm just so fucking sick of the cost of everything. To the point I'm questioning whether I can afford to buy a £6 pack of Benadryl for my fucking hayfever! 😡

Applying for multiple better-paying jobs every week and getting bloody nowhere! Urgh.

Yeah you really don't wanna do that.

Going on to benefits has its own challenges. At that point, the earning capacity of every single adult in the household will be looked out and there are four of them

It's worth contacting your water company and local council about debt relief support.

Our local water company has a charitable side that gives grants to write off around 50% of customers debts. The council also have debt advisers who can reduce monthly payments and in some cases (rare) write off debt.

If there is an end in sight they might also consider discretionary housing benefit toward your rent for a short time.

Any need for such a catty comment?

I went to a grocery store the other day and bought some fruit. I bought one tangelo and two oranges. The tangelo cost $3.27 …wtf?!

The cost of living is utterly obscene.

I’m wondering at what point ordinary people are going to resort to crime. There is such a disparity between the rich and poor.

I don’t have money but I have rich relatives who own multiple expensive houses and whose children have trust accounts and I have seen some of their excess.

It’s just not fair. I’m cutting back on food because everything is so expensive. It’s our biggest expense and I feel so guilty spending $3.27 on a tangelo. Even baked beans are expensive right now. When there is a sale on baked beans at the supermarket they sell out - that’s how desperate things are right now that baked beans seem like a treat.

In my city there are ordinary working people who are homeless. They work, don’t have drug or alcohol problems or mental health issues that are a barrier to finding a home. The barriers are inflation and a housing crisis. A house went for rent in my street at almost $1000 a week. That’s the rental for average houses in my city right now.

I don’t understand how some people are coping.

The kids work hours would have nothing to do with op making a claim and her eldest is already on UC.
Agree they should not pursue the benefits route though. They would be very unlikely to get anything with two adults working full time and no dependents ( well UC wouldn't see their adult kids as dependents even if they are dependent on op )

I'd get rid of all the outgoings you don't need e.g. Netflix and buy cheaper phone packages for the kids. Anything you save will go towards the pot. When they get jobs, they start paying for their phone plans and clothes.

OP, as you've noticed, Mumsnetters often come with plenty of judgment, not just about your character but also about your DH's and children's characters too.

Have you tried using AI apps? They can offer helpful ideas and even solutions if you present all the details clearly and thoroughly, without judgment.

Honestly, I find myself turning to AI for every question in life rather than public forums. Mental health is incredibly important.

@PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock really good advice. I did find some government advice
Start phoning round tomorrow.

"Get free debt advice - GOV.UK" https://www.gov.uk/debt-advice

I understand where you're coming from. Before the pandemic, we had a solid lifestyle, but COVID completely upended everything we lost our jobs, our savings were wiped out, and we still haven’t fully recovered. The rising cost of living has only made things harder. We’ve already cut back on everything we possibly can.
Just before the pandemic, I invested in a professional course to advance in my career, but I’ve struggled to find work in that field since. When people talk about upskilling, it’s important to remember that these courses can cost thousands, and for many of us who are barely staying afloat, that kind of expense just isn’t realistic.

Fundamentally OP, there ARE ways you could cut down, or improve your income a little bit by charging (temporarily and pay it back once the debt is paid?) your DDs a small rent. I probably would- if only to get a small emergency fund behind me for the inevitable car repairs and other sudden expenses. When there is no slush fund for these things, it’s incredibly difficult to dig yourself out of a hole
I get that my choices aren’t necessarily yours and that’s ok. You have to then accept that the shit broke phase is going to last longer and feeling sorry for yourself is unlikely to make you feel better.
Some posters have been a bit unkind granted, but that doesn’t alter the fact that you could improve your finances with a bit of tweaking if you choose to

OP has bitten the head off so many people in her replies who were trying to help, with good advice and intention, which may be tough love but she just doesn't want to know. Because she came for a 'moan' on a public forum and doesn't want advice. She's been sarcastic, nasty and IMHO undeserving of sympathy. Which she's made it very clear she doesn't want. Because she just wants a moan. A moan and a swipe at anyone who dared try to help.

The kids deserve an education which may be the only way they can break the poverty cycle.

OP I can see why you’re struggling. Totally in denial and you have created a narrative around all of the ‘essentials’.

I do get though that you just wanted to moan and not practical advice. But having seen your outgoings list, I’m absolutely gobsmacked. It reads like a wind up.

And she's entitled to have a moan.

Are you sure about that.

My mum was on a low-income when I started working. And her housing benefit was cut because of my income.

This was donkeys years ago, so I understand that UC has replaced housing benefit for the most part. I don't know though because i'm not on any benefits.

I think the working adults, income is taken into account with means tested benefits. I'm sure I remember reading about a non dependent deduction at some point with UC. So if she ended up with any universal credit towards housing costs, there be a nondependant deduction anyway. I think it is about £93 for each non delendant adult.

So reducing her working hours to claim benefits may not leave her any better off

I can understand it's hard for you. Anyone who is saying to stop the Monjaro obviously doesn't realise that obesity is a medical condition. Also, if you stop suddenly you will get massive rebound weight gain.
Also the gym is important for mental health and it's really not a huge cost. Looks like there may be ways to bring down your food budget but I get it's hard and depressing. Wishing you all the best.

They can get an education and financially contribute to the household that they live in.

It is true for some drugs but not for others. For example, paracetamol and anti-inflammatories - never ever buy branded ones, the active ingredient in them is identical whether you buy Tesco's own brand or a big brand. Nurofen is a classic example - you're paying for their marketing, shiney packaging, tv advertising etc but getting the same as the supermarket own brand. Piriton is also a big brand, you can get much cheaper generic versions.

OTC (over the counter) drugs often have generic versions but those that are prescription only are less likely which is probably why you can't change your epilepsy drugs, (the active ingredients will be different).

And she's come to a public forum to do it. Hence I'm entitled to call her out on her attitude to others trying to help.

Thanks for explaining

Almost no one is eligible on nhs for obesity. Bmi over 40 and 4 out of heart disease, blood pressure, high cholesterol, sleep apnoea and diabetes. And in my area the clinics to prescribe under that criteria are nowhere near being set up,and we're being funded for about a third of the people we think meet those criteria. Nothing to do with the GP

But the OP's main issue is her partner who turns down opportunities to earn more.

It's the debt that is crippeling you but your grocery bill is very high!
We are a family of 4 adults and our monthly grocery spend is around £450 - £500. (I'm also with Shemed and the food costs have gone down since I started).
You need to focus on paying off the debt asap - if you could reduce your grocery bill by £200 a month you could pay off the debt sooner!

Would be interesting to know what things you can list as “using only for work”.