To be so sick of being broke?

[PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock]

This is pretty much just a moan really. I'm already doing everything I can to try and improve our situation financially. Although nothing's working atm. 😑

Both DH and I work full-time, on minimum wage. Me 45 hours per week, him between 40-50 depending on the week. And we still can't make ends meet. I'm talking having about £50 left in the bank 2 days after payday because all the bills have come out.

Not entitled to any benefits as earn too much for UC (on MW? 😐). Kids are grown up (22 and 18) but still living at home. DD1 is in college and on UC and waiting to see if she's entitled to PIP for her autism. DD2 is starting uni next month and works part-time herself.

I'm just so fucking sick of the cost of everything. To the point I'm questioning whether I can afford to buy a £6 pack of Benadryl for my fucking hayfever! 😡

Applying for multiple better-paying jobs every week and getting bloody nowhere! Urgh.

@PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock

Just to add, you mentioned being a carer and I just wanted to say that i think another consideration here which maybe people who have no experience of or don’t know people with kids who have additional needs is that sometimes they will only eat a very restricted diet and this could be particular branded items or expensive fresh food often related to sensory issues.

eg I have a friend who’s son is very specific and wouldn’t entertain any sort of “freezer filler” style food which I know I feed my kids on sometimes to pad out expensive food bills, my kids will have a frozen pizza once a week or some fish fingers.

Just for reference if they will eat “freezer food” (obviously not as nutritional as fresh stuff!) but Iceland do 8 items for £10 on freezer food which is good to have in and £10 for 10 fridge type items

Also near us we have a community larder where you pay £5 for 15 items a time and they have some good things, anyone can join it.

We also have “too good to go” and “rescue” food sometimes and have had some great things on there

OP - keep going - it’ll get better as the debt is shifted and my parents always operated on a 25% of what we took home for board money Which is something I’d be considering under the circumstances. My parents didn’t “need” the money but it taught us we couldn’t live for free.

as for the weight loss drugs if people are healthier with a lower BMI in turn they’ll cost the nhs less with a reduced chance of obesity related illnesses and If it makes you feel better in yourself and improved mental health (like gym membership too) I’d prioritise these and look at doing a bit of a family food challenge and see about that, factoring everyone’s needs in and working on it together - please everyone let’s be kind here x

OK, fine, but still work out how you're spending nearly 30 pounds a day on food and toiletries. When one of you, is on weight loss medication, which should drastically reduce your appetite.

What's the game plan for the eldest?She just lives off you forever more?

Agreed. Depends highly on your housing situation. If mortgage paid off you are fine but trying to pay rent/mortgage on low wages is hard going.

It's a well-known fact that when you have a scarcity of resources, it's really hard to take that step back and make the decisions that will save money, you just focus on the next need. Those who criticise the OP should look at a book called Scarcity: Why Having Too Little Means So Much no need to read it, just the synopsis.

You are making ends meet. You're paying your bills, being able to stock up your house with what you want (sorry but it is an awful lot you're spending on groceries), being able to choose not to ask your adult children to even pay for their own mobile contracts. And, you're also able to choose several non-essentials like WLJ, gym membership, and streaming.
On top of you're also able to pay about 20% of your take-home against debts (which is a huge amount proportionately and can this definitely not be reduced and spread over a longer term?)
Fair enough you can't, after all this, also save up for rainy day events or for treats like breaks away. But you could easily afford the hay-fever meds you need if you made some changes. You just can't do or have everything, and neither can most people. What would it take for you to reframe this as you're paying off debts, taking care of your adult kids, keeping on top of bills,and also having some treats?

I agree.

just remember
“you are living someone else’s dream” even in your current situation.

believe it or not, but I consider you to be in a better position than me as you still have things for yourself. I currently don’t (gym, jabs, Netflix)

I know it sucks

I understand you just wanted a moan but your financial set-up seems absolutely ridiculous to me. It's no wonder you're broke if you're spending £100 on weight loss injections, £20 on streaming services, £100 on mobile phones and nearly a grand on food

That's a fair post. No one broke is paying off debts and spending what you are on food after bills.

Diphenhydramine
Drug

Diphenhydramine, sold under the brand name Benadryl among others, is an antihistamine and sedative

sorry to burst your bubble! All drugs have a generic brand name and it’s different companies that change the name! It’s also known as as Nytol amongst others!

I have an actual packet in front of me. Its acrivastine.

There is more than one type of benadryl in the UK, (they do a daily one too) but the one that works for me is acrivastine. You may also be looking at a non-UK website where the ingredients are different.

She's not exactly on the breadline. She's able to afford rent bills a lot of money on food am and she is able to choose not to take money off two adults who have income of their own.

Not even twenty quid for their own mobile bills, would she take.

It's just she doesn't have anything left once she's paid for all of this stuff.

The real problems are when you've havent got enough money for food or your rent.

Ok, if the eldest diet is expensive, because she'll only eat xy or z, she has over three hundred pounds a month of benefits of her own.

The eldest is 22. She isn't 12. She could contribute towards some of her food bill.If she will only eat specific things.

But the op won't take her money.Therefore again it's a choice she is making.

Why not? She has minimal outgoings. You could ask for £20 a month and she’d still have and she’d still have over £250 a month th. My DS worked part time through Uni and still gave me £30 a month. It teaches them that nothing is free in this life’

You have not included in your list

Fuel for vehicles
Breakdown cover for vehicles

Birthdays
Christmas

Holidays

Reducing hours to get UC doesn’t always make people better off! As for cash in hand jobs, OP if caught could be charged with benefit fraud!

It’s tough op. I get it - you work hard and you give yourself a few treats.

I think it might be wise to cut back on some things so you can prioritise debt repayment and then build an emergency fund for emergencies like car repairs. It will be shit for a few years but you’ll be glad of it in the end. I’ve been there - sympathies.

I mean I get that some people don’t want to take money off their kids…… this is an individual choice

HOWEVER my view would be in these circumstances I think it needs to be considered really in the nicest, kindest and most realistic way

I’d never want to knock anyone when they’re down but you have to be realistic sometimes to be able to move forward.

As has been pointed out by several other posters, in the UK, it is acrivastine, not diphenhydramine, it is a different active ingredient. You are wrong, (unless you're based overseas in which case we are both right).

You are also wrong to say all drugs have a generic equivalent. Most if not all drugs start life on a restricted licence which means they cannot legally be copied. When their licence runs out, competitors can then copy the ingredients and can make their own branded or unbranded equivalents. So newly developed drugs wont have a generic either. I've been using Acrivastine for years. It's expensive and I'd love it if there were generics out there but for some reason there never has been. If you can find me one in the UK, I'd be delighted, please feel free to prove me wrong.

of course you’re broke, you have two kids on a minimum wage role and your husband won’t take on extra work because ‘it’s not worth the extra work for the income tax’. As a lone parent, not in a minimum wage role and very much paying a whole load of income tax, I think the first port of call should be more work. I’ve lost count of the amount of times, I’ve sat through some hideous situation at work just so that I know I’m capable of keeping the show on the road myself. Always worked full time, with a child who also had an autism diagnosis. Also deliberately limited my family to one once I knew my marriage was going down the drain. It sounds harsh but no one is coming to save you: if you want a better life you’ve got to start working for it, a day at a time if need be.

You pay £850 debt each month thats why you are skint!!!

You are paying off four separate debts. That's a heck of a burden. I think there's a cheaper way to do that I read on here somewhere.

For instance who supplies your gas and electricity?

I sympathise. Especially when I read about folk raking in tax free benefits. Far more than any minimum wage job.

If this is true why can’t epileptics change brands of epilepsy medication?

If you are both working but only on minimum
wage then it’s a sign you both need to retrain into a field where you can earn more money.

Agree things should be better once debbt is paid off