To be so sick of being broke?

[PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock]

This is pretty much just a moan really. I'm already doing everything I can to try and improve our situation financially. Although nothing's working atm. 😑

Both DH and I work full-time, on minimum wage. Me 45 hours per week, him between 40-50 depending on the week. And we still can't make ends meet. I'm talking having about £50 left in the bank 2 days after payday because all the bills have come out.

Not entitled to any benefits as earn too much for UC (on MW? 😐). Kids are grown up (22 and 18) but still living at home. DD1 is in college and on UC and waiting to see if she's entitled to PIP for her autism. DD2 is starting uni next month and works part-time herself.

I'm just so fucking sick of the cost of everything. To the point I'm questioning whether I can afford to buy a £6 pack of Benadryl for my fucking hayfever! 😡

Applying for multiple better-paying jobs every week and getting bloody nowhere! Urgh.

@PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock your comments are a good example of how the cycle of not getting ahead self perpetuates.
You’ve scrimped so much so long you think you “deserve” XYZ, and can’t see how giving up ABC would help.
Moan away BUT it’s a terrible example to set for your teens.

Thank you.

So I shouldn't have Netflix and Amazon because I'm setting a bad example? What?

I’m sorry to hear that.

im autistic and so are my children. It’s tough.

Yep. This is the col crisis for many people. Low wages, many hours, expensive food / bills / anything. It’s hard for lots of people.

And also ref the weight loss drugs, worth it for you. Less £ spent on food and less likely to be ill / less likely that being overweight would make an illness worse, as you’ve lost / continue to lose weight.

You probably could spend less on food if you batch cooked / made stuff from scratch, but that takes time (and freezer space).

You def don’t need to pay for VPN, work should do that.

Otherwise yep, you and millions of others 🙈.

VPNs, weight loss drugs on private prescriptions, expensive phone contracts and super expensive broadband aren't luxuries. You clearly aren't very good work money (don't mean that as a attack - you also have a lot of debts which are testament to it). But this is how people end up in debt and not coping - by spending money on things they really don't need.

Well when you are saying you can’t afford £6 on Benadryl but paying out for non essentials the message you are sending is not one of prioritising the most important things in life is it?
You can’t have it both ways - either you don’t have the money for essential medication or you do but are choosing to spend the money on other thjnfs

did you not appeal? both of my DC are severely disabled and I always had to work. We also got turned down for DLA and had to appeal to tribunal. It's hard but sometimes, you have to go all the way.

I think you said you just wanted a moan and that's fair enough-we all need to be able to moan from time to time!

But although you don't seem to believe it possible, I work in this field and think you could get more disposable income by getting decent debt advice and checking all outgoings - can you make them cheaper?. It's worth a shot, isn't it?

Eg Could the food budget be reduced with meal planning, cutting down meat, cheap meals, eating from the freezer etc etc

@PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock . I completely understand the joyless existence of having to cut back to the bone but like you we ( many years ago) acquired debt, due to unexpected circumstances rather than splurging, and at the time our joint income, like yours were very modest .
We had to consider , regardless of what we wanted , or felt we deserved, what we could actually afford and had to cut out everything that wasn't essential unless debt was repaid .
The quicker you can clear the debt the quicker a great weight will be lifted from your shoulders .

Loads of people live like this..
You need to focus on whatever you have got.
Somebody out will be jealous of you and will have less than you.

The problem is not having money to spend on small things (like Benadryl) week to week. Any unexpected expense (like we've just spent over £400 getting the car fixed) means we'll have less than £10 in the bank for anything else.

DH gets paid weekly. I get paid monthly. My wages pay all the bills, and his pays for weekly expenses like food, etc. An unexpected expense comes in (like the car) and we're fucked. Hence not having £6 for Benadryl because I didn't realise the pollen was going to be this high and I'd need more than usual.

You probably need to consider ways to reduce the food budget - that's a lot for 4, especially on a limited budget.
Maybe post a shopping list/meal plan?
Do you eat a lot of meat? Chocolate? Brands?

You should live within your means with zero extra until debts are paid. No Amazon No Netflix No Gym No WLD. Nothing zilch for 10-12 months whatever till debts paid THEN reassess.
For most, who are interested in a balanced budget, the sacrifice and resulting peace is worthwhile.
But your defensive tone says it all.
Question without WLD did you equally feel you “deserved” the extra foods you consumed? or are your weight issues and high food cost issues linked to poor cooking skills?

£850 on groceries? WTF?!?!?!

and Mounjaro is not essential - it really isn’t. You say you don’t want a heart attack - if you were that unhealthy you’d have it on nhs prescrpition

gym membership? What’s wrong with walking or running?

i pay half what you do for broadband plus it includes tv and netflix

Is there any way you could cut your food expenses for a few months, just so you can get a few pennies behind you? Any naughty treats that could go, just for a little while? I know that'd be hard. If you reduced it by even £100 or £50?

The weekly shop cost is increasing every week😤. I see people with their trollies piled high and I really feel for them when the cashier says £150, £200, etc😩

Where is most of the money going, your rent/mortgage?

Yes you won’t be eligible for UC, and why should you be? All you can do is continue applying for better paid jobs and trying to cut expenses where you can. For example, Benadryl is just diphenhydramine; you can buy a cheaper variant in the pharmacy or the supermarket.

@PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock I buy 360 cetitirizine tablets on amazon for £12.

Why had your husband not bothered to improve his career over the years? I get that yours has been restricted by caring.

Some people are too busy working and surviving. Also, milkmen are actually contributing to a community, perhaps he enjoys it?

That's nice. If I wanted live TV and I'd need the extra expense of a TV Licence, who is going to fund that? Do you WFH permanently?

No I couldn't get it on NHS prescription because I can't even get an appointment with my GP! I have get my HRT from Boots because my GP won't even entertain seeing me for menopause!

And swimming is a far better exercise than walking. Running - DH has bad knees and literally can't run.

Yes I may sound defensive, because like I said I wasn't looking for advice. If I was I'd have posted in the money section. I only wanted a bloody moan! (Although I do seem to be having a good moan right now 😂).

If you can't afford allergy medication, you don’t Netflix ot Amazon or a VPN. Surely that's not hard to work out.

Once the shitload of debt is paid off, reconsider.

Sorry quoted the wrong person.

If you have a child so disabled that they need a SAHM then you've got a responsibility to earn a bit more to support them.

Sorry things are tough, I hope the PIP application is successful this time.

My gas and electric bills are horrific, no debt just high usage. But it transpires a faulty fridge freezer was costing us about £200! Of course having the money to replace items is another problem when things are already really tight.

As you're locked into contracts there's not much you can do about that. I signed up to do telephone surveys and I've made a whacking £10 in the last month😅 but it might be worth you all looking into something like that? Appreciate it feels a bit pointless, but when there's nothing to cut back on it would at least pay for the Benadryl.

He has! He's worked in shops, factories, warehouses, kitchens, pubs, bars, gyms, went to college several times around working. Done driving jobs. He got laid off during Covid, and we were absolutely fucked financially. He managed to get the milkman job in July 2020 and it stopped us from being evicted due to not being able to pay the rent. It's not like he isn't actually looking for another job! But working for EVri or DPD is a hell of a lot shighter and more unstable than the job he has now!