To be so sick of being broke?

[PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock]

This is pretty much just a moan really. I'm already doing everything I can to try and improve our situation financially. Although nothing's working atm. 😑

Both DH and I work full-time, on minimum wage. Me 45 hours per week, him between 40-50 depending on the week. And we still can't make ends meet. I'm talking having about £50 left in the bank 2 days after payday because all the bills have come out.

Not entitled to any benefits as earn too much for UC (on MW? 😐). Kids are grown up (22 and 18) but still living at home. DD1 is in college and on UC and waiting to see if she's entitled to PIP for her autism. DD2 is starting uni next month and works part-time herself.

I'm just so fucking sick of the cost of everything. To the point I'm questioning whether I can afford to buy a £6 pack of Benadryl for my fucking hayfever! 😡

Applying for multiple better-paying jobs every week and getting bloody nowhere! Urgh.

I didn't ask for sympathy or advice. If I'd wanted that I wouldn't have posted in AIBU. 😂 And there are plenty of people posting who are being very helpful (thank you to those that have posted advice) without using it as an excuse to just go "OMG I earn 1p per hour and pay £20000 a month for my mortgage, I'm obviously so much better than you".

Because the extra hours, stress and responsibilty wasn't worth the extra £15 pw that would just go on income tax.

I think the big thing here is that at the time, this situation is hugely stressful and isolation and you feel like you’re treading treacle.

but you aren’t on your own

I think you need to write out an income and expenses list out and see where you’re spending money and where you can maybe save.

I also agree with people saying if your DC have UC or wages they NEED to be contributing financially to the household. They wouldn’t live anywhere else for free!!

do you own or rent?? If you own I’d consider selling and moving to a cheaper area maybe?? If you rent, phone up your housing department at your local council and ask to be put on the list for social housing lists can be long but they do consider people’s circumstances.

Sending a handhold and I can tell you, it will get better ❤️‍🩹

Minor point but Aldi do Ceterizine tablets for 89p so it's worth trying these if you haven't. Home Bargains too.

Or maybe in a couple of years I'll have paid off my debts that were accrued when we were on benefits and I'll be able to afford things I want without having gone stir crazy during the process?

80 plus h even on NMW in this country is plenty. Come on.

Seems that a lot of your woes are related to debt repayment so not much you can do there. Agree re: the mounjaro and stopping. You might also as an aside want to read up on the longer term issues of the drug, and consider that when you stop which you inevitably will one day, the weight will just likely just pile back on if you’ve not addressed the reason for over eating etc. Agree with people saying that £850 a month on groceries is insane. Must be loads you can cut down there. Final comment on the internet. Unless you are making Hollywood grade movies and chucking terabytes of data around every hour you don’t need a £65 a month internet! I pay £28 a month for full fiber 1Gb/s speed and never get anywhere near using its full capacity. What are you doing from home that requires what must be a military grade internet connection for that price!? Other thought is that if you have a good phone contract which I’d have thought you must have for £100 a month for you both (even with device payments), you could tether your PC to the phone and get rid of the internet completely. This would assume you have unlimited / loads of data allowance.

I thought UC looks at household income, so if you are unentitled to it - your kids would also be unentitled?

I get it - £15 a week extra is bloody appalling for a lot of extra responsibility but sucking that up for a short while would mean he has supervisory experience and can then apply for higher level jobs. 🤷‍♀️
You are also by the sounds of it doing unpaid overtime on MW jobs - is that right?
If it is, that’s illegal and you should get advice from ACAS or CAB

so therefore you are not broke. You are in debt and trying to < afford > nice things. You lost me. Sorry. Back to basics, money management courses, all this. They give you everything here. Not where I come from. We learn it from life and when hardship knock on your door, it is not what you want, but basics for life

It’s incredibly shit that 2 people working full time have to worry about paying for one or two (very small!) luxuries

The attitude of some of the responses here is even worse

If you are in a better position than OP - don’t forget, some of that is down to pure luck with the cards you have been dealt

Some of the responses the op is getting are really mean I don’t blame her for biting back tbh. This thread has probably made you feel worse not better. Mumsnet isn’t the real world op they all earn 250 grand a year (apparently) and if you are what they consider to be poor you shouldn’t even be watching the tv. Tbh i think they just thrive on this kind of stuff. It used to be a nice place it isn’t anymore.

Exactly, it's like Calpol. Which is just liquid paracetamol for children. Apparently some parents are only able to give their kids Calpol, according to an A&E consultant I saw once, who told me that they refuse give generic medication as "it's not the same". 😅😳

Even though it is.🤷

It’s debt repayment that is killing their finances.

Thank you! I did expect some biteback, I've been here a long time. But some people seem to take pleasure in just posting shite to people.

True but you can see why if benefits were suddenly removed for an adult DD overnight and Covid screwed the husbands work situation.
Blame does not change these facts.

You asked for help and when advice comes you become defensive !
We have 4 adults in our household and food shopping is approx £600 a month maximum.
Yiu either need to cut spending, get a better paid job or get DC to start contributing.

God its a race to the bottom in the UK.

God forbid a family who work hard and struggle to raise a child with sen watch some tv to relax.

Mc families could spend in a single outing or meal out what the op is spending on her tv subscriptions

Op ignore the joyless critics who think poor people should live a hair shirt existence. Obviously losing weight will help you get fit and hope you can use the energy gained to find better work.

Raising a sen child has held back your earnings . You are a family on a low wage and I think the key would be someone in the family raising the income coming in.

I do think life is expensive now - more so than 5 or 10 years ago. Unfortunately this means a lot of things we consider as normal, reasonable things to expect in life (gym memberships, TV subscriptions) are not actually essential but have become a bit of a luxury because of the cost of living. Ditto weight loss injections and having a dog - they no doubt feel essential because you are used to them.

I am not at all saying you should get rid of any of these, just maybe reframe your thinking to feel like you are doing ok to be able to afford these luxuries. We didn't get a cat until the dc were out of preschool childcare because we had no spare money and would have struggled with any vet bills - and even things like paying someone to feed them. I feel quite skint at the moment compared to my friends, similarly not in a position to change anything much, and do find it comforting to remind myself we're lucky to have cats (2 now!), gym membership etc which do improve my quality of life.

And btw..if the gym membership helps the husband with his mh and fitness its very worth it as working permanent nights is a factor for poor health.

Oh my goodness, I cannot believe all the nasty and condescending comments on your post.
It sounds like you and your husband have both been working incredibly hard and trying to find better-paying jobs, but for some reason, it hasn’t been working out. I know it’s tough, but both your children are in higher education, and you’ve shown them such a great work ethic. You absolutely deserve to have Netflix and a gym membership. Try to ignore the negative comments and focus on what truly matters.

If you actually read the OP you'll see I specifically didn't ask for advice. "This is pretty much just a moan" is what I said.

She doesn't want advice, she wants sympathy and to be told she should definitely carry on the the weight loss jabs and her extra fripperies even though she's in debt and struggling.

Anyone who disagrees with her and doesn't offer her the response she wants is being nasty and spiteful oh and smug.

You're spending nearly, thirty pounds a day on food and toiletries. That is extremely high especially considering that one of you is on weight loss drugs and that causes you to have very little appetite.

You are supporting two adults and Im assuming they don't contribute to the household? In that case this should be.

The eldest has her own benefits. Therefore, she should be buying her own food or giving you some money towards your food bill. She should be paying her own mobile phone bill and her own toiletries. She's twenty two.She's been an adult for 4 years now.

Same goes for the eighteen year old. She's working part time.She can pay her own mobile bill and toiletries etc

Just want to send some solidarity.
Its shit.
Really shit when you can't see any chance of things improving anytime soon.
Amd everytime I go food shopping, seems more and more has gone up again in price.
Hope the utility debts are paid off soon, as the extra you are having to pay there is probably the little bit of wiggle room that you need.

And we'll done for taking control and getting the weight loss injections.
its not a miracle cure or cheating. Just a different tool.
Others I know on them say they are saving more £ on food than the injections are costing them anyway.