To be so sick of being broke?

[PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock]

This is pretty much just a moan really. I'm already doing everything I can to try and improve our situation financially. Although nothing's working atm. 😑

Both DH and I work full-time, on minimum wage. Me 45 hours per week, him between 40-50 depending on the week. And we still can't make ends meet. I'm talking having about £50 left in the bank 2 days after payday because all the bills have come out.

Not entitled to any benefits as earn too much for UC (on MW? 😐). Kids are grown up (22 and 18) but still living at home. DD1 is in college and on UC and waiting to see if she's entitled to PIP for her autism. DD2 is starting uni next month and works part-time herself.

I'm just so fucking sick of the cost of everything. To the point I'm questioning whether I can afford to buy a £6 pack of Benadryl for my fucking hayfever! 😡

Applying for multiple better-paying jobs every week and getting bloody nowhere! Urgh.

I'd recommend changing your name. And maybe getting some glasses? I have no problem with people challenging me or saying I could do better. It's people with no imagination (like yourself) who just jump on the bandwagon and repeat what other people have already said, and then complain when I'm rude.

People just need to realise that joinery is an art that requires imagination and skill. Rather like an architect

Didn't jump on the bandwagon - I thought it from the off but wasn't gonna post but then saw you being rude and thought why not.

Anyway going to go for a walk and sign off for a bit. Enjoy your Disney or netflix or prime or luxuries and keep feeling sorry for yourself.

Toodles 😊

People are so angry that you’ve dared moan about being skint because you can’t feel skint if you can afford bills and food and some minor ‘luxuries’! Can’t believe it’s still going. And how dare you defend yourself against some of the rude comments you’re getting!

I earn a good wage, my disposable income is pretty good. Sometimes I will moan about the cost of everything - I’m in shared ownership and my mortgage went up dramatically last year and then my rent went up in April, shock horror I moaned about how expensive everything is now. Honestly peoples heads would explode if they knew the amount of money I waste and had the audacity to moan!!

That is literally jumping on the bandwagon!

Didn't jump on the bandwagon - I thought it from the off but wasn't gonna post but then saw you being rude and thought why not.

So you did jump on the bandwagon then. 😂

Because she's not moaning about the cost of things, she's moaning about being broke. There is a difference to moaning that your mortgage went up and saying you're always broke.

She has more disposable income than me and I'm not complaining I'm broke because there are people worse off than me and I'm not tone deaf, and have the self awareness to know that saying I'm broke then saying I spend on x y or z is likely to get people's backs up.

That also doesn't give her the right to be quite so rude to people.

If people are rude to me, they have to expect some rudeness back.

It’s hardly tone deaf to say that you’re sick of being broke. It’s ok for her to have outgoings that you personally wouldn’t want to prioritise but it’s hardly unreasonable of her to have so non-essentials. She wanted a moan and everyone else just want to give her advice. It feels very moral. I feel like there’s an unrealistic and unreasonable expectation for people who don’t earn a lot of be perfect and frugal and live without any luxuries or modcons otherwise there’s always a pile on saying a ha! You can’t be that skint if you can afford Netflix/bendryl/a TV/brand name ketchup/meat/heating/phone/cigarettes/a pet. Mumsnet seem to want to discredit anyone who dares say that things are rubbish. But people are not perfect and having a moan because you’re working full time and feel like you can’t even afford some Bendryl when you’re hardly living it large is ok. And it is ridiculous for people to come on here and berate OP for having the audacity to have some non necessities,

Im sure if you started your own thread and told people what you spend you money on you’d still get all of these people saying you are wasting money for one reason or another because they always do

Some people here act like having money is a crime and being broke is some sacred badge of honor. They are so protective of what it means to be broke. Judging by the outrage, you’d think the OP spends their mornings bathing in champagne.

You’ve been rude to a lot of posters ‘dear’

Anyone who doesn’t agree with you gets a rude/sarcastic reply………and you’re not getting Disney for free if you’re spending points that could give you discounts elsewhere. You’re still paying

perhaps if you had a hobby you wouldn’t need so many streaming subscriptions (that aren’t free)

If she isn’t paying for it, it’s free. You may feel she could get discounts elsewhere instead, but that doesn’t change the fact she doesn’t pay for Disney plus

Jesus H Christ! Ok, let's have a detailed breakdown of your incomings and outgoings so we assess whether you're wasting your money, whether you're "entitled" (like me apparently) and whether you're a worthy high earner who can do what she likes, or a lowly minimum wager who must bow down and obey her superior rich masters.

Can everyone who has criticised, called me entitled, rude and a whole other manner of shite, post their income and expenditures please? We need to assess whether you're all taking through your arses or actually practice what you preach. Wouldn't want a thread full of high and mighty hypocrites now, would we? I'll wait...

I hate spending my Tesco points on food!! Spending on food is wasting them in my opinion. Disney/ restaurant or family railcard is what I spend mine on.
Netflix and Amazon prime together is only a little bit of than the tv licence. Definitely better value.

@PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock I don’t live in the UK so I’m not sure how things work but I have read about something called a Debt Management plan and I was wondering if you could try and get your debts rescheduled to take some of the pressure off you. You’ve said you’ll be paying them back for another 18 months to 2 years and I’m wondering if taking another 5 years to pay them off would make the grind of it easier for you.

And your club card points - how many do you use for Disney as you have said your Disney subscription is free but it’s not really and the monetary value of your points could perhaps pay for your Benadryl instead. I don’t live in the UK all the year round but I do have a Tesco card for when I’m there that I use.

I think I understand about not wanting to take money from your children. There’s very little in your budget to spend on them so you want them to have/keep their own money to spend and for life to be a bit easier on them after there being even less money when they were growing up than there is now. But the truth is that you need every penny you can get to keep your head barely above water, not get into more debt, and even if the girls paid for their own phone contract it would help you breath a bit easier. Could you consider this even though it’s very much going against being the kind of parent you want to be (based on complex emotional reasons).

Netflix and Amazon prime together is only a little bit of than the tv licence

Im not sure that’s correct. I have a tv licence and it’s 15 pounds a month. Amazon prime is about 9 pounds a month or 95 pounds a year and Netflix is 6, 12 or 19 pounds a month depending on your package. So having Netflix and Prime could be about the same price of a license or a whole lot more depending on your package.

@PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock I just saw your mention of the VPN after I had another look at your posts - I use a VPN and it’s way less than the 10.99 you’re paying. Could you maybe get a cheaper one?

Little savings that don’t seem like much in their own can add up once you look at them altogether.

www.tomsguide.com/best-picks/uk-vpn

I'm sorry, I don't know what that means. Do you mean that you've been a stay-at-home mother, or that you've been a low-paid aide at a care facility? And what about your husband, who I think is also getting minimum wage?
Good luck with the job applications!

Not much advice as such (as not requested) , and understand that it can be one step forward & two back, & you needing to vent, but admire you on both working & not relying on benefits.
However, (sorry, here comes some unwanted advice/suggestions....) have you actually applied for & been turned down for UC? Have you looked up the Local Housing Allowance rates? Looked into Discretionary Housing Payments via local council to help with rent - tends to be maybe for a fixed period only though? The Household Support Fund via county councils (not local council) - (can sometimes maybe a 'one off' payment though, if accepted, but they can also look at fuel bills etc, not just 'supermarket vouchers'.)
Did you put on UC application that you have family member with 'special needs', even if she isn't in receipt of PIP at the moment - that has potential to make any Benefit Cap be removed from UC and maybe make you eligible?? And always appeal PIP if turned down, maybe with help from CAB / health workers or similar to get the 'wording' right'? (any support workers etc involved?) Councils (often county councils, not just local councils) have benefit advisers for people under age 25 with such needs?

Also maybe google CAP, & Step Change, and even certain companies (such as Southern Water, depends on your area) can assist with help lowering the rates?.

Can you try GP again for Mounjaro or similar as suggested, due to BMI (not necessarily mention the 'dreaded' / often ignored menopause - insist on an appointment) (and wow at the weight loss so far on it) - yes, a whole lot of 'faff' to go through, but maybe word it differently eg about the stress you are going through? So sorry, not meant to be a 'lecture', we have been in a pretty similar situation before, and its crap - it will pass though, and I hope you will update in a few months or so to let us know how you are doing? (I didn't mean to write an essay, sorry). Good luck 🌹x

Not quite on topic, but if you're on the jab, please please please ensure you are getting enough calcium. There is a link (it's not clear if it's the injection or the reduction in appetite, in what I've read so far) with osteoporosis/reduction in bone density.

Back on topic, as a family of 6, my food budget is £400. I can't afford more. Have you looked into meal planning/batch cooking etc? "Feed your family for £20" has some great recipes that don't break the bank, although it's a bit more than £20 nowadays.

Obviously you can't break contracts without being penalised, but when are they finished? We managed to get SIM only via O2 for £8 for 4 of us during black Friday. Also worth looking at cashback sites when doing any shopping. Last time I changed broadband I got £90 cashback and car insurance £45. Went towards Christmas last year.

Things WILL get easier. Once you've paid one debt off, can you "snowball" to pay off the next (use the money from the one you've paid off to help pay the next quicker)?

Do your research, contact citizen advice and get a DRO.

The trouble is that by going down the Debt Management route it will affect the OP's credit rating. This may not bother her at the moment, but it could cause problems later on down the line. If she is really struggling though, it could definitely be a way forward.

The person I was replying to suggested working cash in hand which is why I said it’s promotes benefit fraud.

Wouldn't you rather live somewhere tiny and save 2k each month for a deposit for your own home?