If you are one of 3 adult siblings, would you be upset by this?

[FirstdatesFred]

I’m all hormonal and genuinely can’t work out if I’m being unreasonable or not.

if you are one of 3 siblings would you be upset in this scenario?

you’re sibling 1 and live in the same village as sibling 2. Your parents live about 5 mins away too. Sibling 3 lives about half an hour away and is very busy so no one sees them that much.

today I found out that sibling 2 and 3 and their families went for a walk together then back for a cuppa to sibling 2’s house, your mum was also there. No one invited you and you/your kids were not included. My mum sort of told me by accident otherwise I wouldn’t have been any the wiser. Sibling 3 doesn’t come over this way often.

I would have loved to see them and haven’t seen sibling 3 for ages as they’re super busy.

I got upset on the phone with my mum she said ‘come over’ but I said I won’t as I wasn’t invited. I thought siblings might message but they haven’t. Am feeling sad and left out no one thought to include me and sibling 3 came to my village and didn’t want to say hi.

would other people be upset too or is it just me? I’ve definitely had a disproportionately emotional response due to hormones.

Experienced this exact thing a couple of months ago, DH is one of three siblings and they arranged to all go and surprise my MIL with their partners and children and took FIL along too (they're separated), so all the cousins had a lovely but rare day with both grandparents there... except for us and our children. What makes it worse is the grandparents were told we were asked to go but we said we were too busy and to not to mention it to us. Except FIL called my DH the next day annoyed that we didn't make the effort! They know we know now and know we are upset, no messages from any of them at all.

It's by far not the first time either, often they arrange lovely little family days and don't ask us, so now we are backing right off so as to minimise the damage to our children, who have been really upset to keep missing out and are becoming more aware as they get older. And the only reason they know they are missing out is because FIL is constantly mentioning the meet ups in front of them. It really sucks and I completely sympathise as I know exactly how crappy it makes you feel 😓I'm glad you've reached out to your siblings though and they acknowledge it was thoughtless, hopefully they will think to invite you next time.

This is pretttmuch my family. We see each other in different combinations allthe time. I don't see a problem

Do your siblings have children? Could it have been a ‘no-kids’ outing? If you’re the only one with children, maybe they knew yours were on school holiday and that you would need to take them along.
Even so, that’s not good. They could have asked anyway. Maybe you could have arranged some childcare. If it wasn’t necessarily an ‘adults only’ trip, they could have ‘put up with’ (!) your children!

I would have been upset too.

But I don't understand this bit:
I got upset on the phone with my mum she said ‘come over’ but I said I won’t as I wasn’t invited.

Did you actually find out WHILE they were still at your mum's and refuse to go and join them? If so, I think that was childish.

Edited to say I have seen your updates. I'm glad that you spoke to your sister and sorted out a time to see her.

Yeah, I would be upset. Sorry OP.

Yes I’d be annoyed and I’d ask straight up why I wasn’t included

I'd think about all the times id been with my mum and sister leaving the other sister out.

I'd have been disappointed, but not upset. It sounds like something that had a spontaneous element, anyway.

And yes, I don't think siblings should be obliged to only meet if all can be present. That's just daft. They're likely to have different interests, different things in common, different availability etc etc.

Also it's bizarre to talk of a sibling 30 minutes away, as if they're at the other end of the country! My daughters are 30 and 45 minutes away, and I see each of them (not always, or even often, together) every week.

I think it's down to you to be more proactive, and stop treating sibling 3 as if they're some kind of exotic creature that you can only see once in a blue moon.