social media is convincing all our kids they are nd?

[AuntMarch]

I've just been sat on the bus and the tiktok videos I'm hearing almost have me seeking a diagnosis.
"ADHD TEST" Put a finger down if you've ever focused on something so much you've lost track of time/ sometimes think you talk too much or not enough.."
it's basically covered every possible behaviour and it's video after video.

it's no wonder every kid thinks they have something.

You can evidence the need for reasonable adjustments in ways other than a diagnosis. For example, an OT assessment, an OH assessment, evidence from the GP or a clinical psychologist, an EP…

I am not saying a diagnosis isn’t helpful. I am saying reasonable adjustments are not dependent on a diagnosis.

In order to receive HRM DLA, you need evidence to support the claim.

Lots of kids have less than ideal parenting they don't get extra support in school.

I hate the ones that self diagnose ADHD. My daughters psychiatrist diagnosed her with CPTSD after a traumatic 5 years under a gas lighting gynaecologist, he was bloody awful.

The psychiatrist picked up that she was presenting ADHD behaviour, she’s struggled in lots of areas and often wondered. Ten months later on the waiting list with Psychiatry UK she has the diagnosis, but there is a shortage of medication 🥴

I look forward to the day that I don’t need to have another bloody key cut because she has yet again lost it, or loan her some money because yet again she’s lost her debit card, these things never materialise. She may be able to hold down a hobby, and actually use the gear she’s bought.

There are lots of incidences where I’ve thought why can’t she grasp such a simple task, or keep track of what she’s doing, she’s also dyslexic. Her money management is shocking, she has an IVA, and has put herself in dangerous situations. ADHD is real, it’s a shame that these social media sites undermine this and genuine sufferers aren’t always taken seriously 😐

there is a difference between less than ideal and neglectful. Also some kids get past the bad parenting some don’t.

He shows zero signs of ADHD except not behaving in school. Also he is able to behave in front of me and his grandparents. Basically everyone except his mum and dad.

be doesn’t have ADHD. Yet mum is pushing for it as an excuse for his behaviour.

Self medicate with what?

Also under whst criteria did he Qualify?
If it was under SMI than it is only very recently ADHD has been accepted as condition that meets the arrested or incomplete development of the brain component, you would of course need to also have severe mental impairment
If it was under VUW than the child's behaviour would need to be so extreme rendering them virtually unable to walk
HRM is rightly extremely hard to get and you can lie as much as you want but you need EVIDENCE to back you up.

So he's also showing signs in school to gotcha
You are contradicting yourself all over the place.

Alcohol and drugs

It's because we're supposedly clogging up waiting lists and taking resources from other people

Buying clean socks and underwear every week because you keep forgetting to wash them on time. Same with using paper plates and cutlery.

Showing up an hour early for an appointment to make sure you get there on time, and not being able to do or think about anything else all day other than getting to that appointment.

Spending 100% of your time focused on work, and working until midnight every night, to make sure you don't make any mistakes or get everything done, because you can't concentrate hard enough to finish it during work hours, then burning out and leaving the job six months later. Rinse and repeat.

HTH.

Well I suppose the alternative is not fitting in then.

Ive read many a thread where a parent, normally of a younger child but also applies to teens, is critical of the child's peer group for not wanting to include their child, either as a friend or within a social group, or within a hobby or whatever

Another poster on this thread, cant remember who sorry, talked about her brother who sounds as if he has never been able to manage social conventions and hence has been in prison, jobless, etc etc.

To be 'your authentic self' when that authentic self pushes people away or makes you unattractive as a peer, friend, romantic partner, employee, isnt going to work is it?

Most of us dont want to surround ourselves with people who are awkward and odd, or who cant or dont want to join in, you make friends with people who you get on with and have something in common with and enjoy being with.

What is the better option, to medicate people so that they essentially do what is being claimed happens, masking but on a permanent basis with medication. Or to be their authentic selves which is likely to result in social rejection.

It's used by people who want to place blame on something/someone/anything to convince themselves there's a reason for their behaviour.

Genuine cases are unfortunately then minimised by this.

No genuine cases are not minimised by this, what minimises genuine diagnoses is ignorance and abelism and a lack of knowledge re those surrounding undiagnosed children and young adults struggling with ND.

All of which costs the country big time in harder to treat mental illness, prison overpopulation, poorer education outcomes etc

I suspect those that like to gatekeep aren't even the ones seeking diagnosis which makes it even weirder.

I didn't say diagnoses did I?

Yes, it does minimise cases a lot of times, you get eye rolling when you state you're ND as people are used to a lot of people saying so with no basis.

That's my experience, which may not be true for you.

Almost everyone i know is seeking a diagnosis. So many have it now or are self diagnosing that it is starting to not be taken seriously. I know 2 young adults who are seeking a diagnosis as they are too anxious to get a job.

Social media is affecting our teens and young adults in so many ways

It’s part of parenting to guide them through this nonsense nowadays.

Diagnosis or not life isn’t suddenly going to be easy. It isn’t is it? If someone is ND an understanding of that can be beneficial. But if you aren’t ND and get persuaded you probably are it’s more of a detriment.

Some of this can come down to the “you are perfect as you are you don’t have to change or pretend” and that’s bollocks, we all have to do stuff that’s hard, boring, difficult, more so when you are a young adult.

So we have to counter this as parents and explain “suck it up buttercup you are not that special”. Like bear hunt said “you have to go through it” - yes you will have to do your own domestic chores at uni, yes you have to get to classes on time with what you need, yes you have to do the boring jobs when you start work, no no one thinks you are special, you are a bang average human out there, get on with it.

So yes social media is a poison in our society, or can be, Might be worth trying to figure out who benefits from trying to persuade large numbers of young adults they are ND, I mean if you can persuade a fair number of people they can’t cope in the big bad world, that means there is less competition out there doesn’t it.

Yes this is true
Teens call it “the isms”
“oh yes they have an ism”
and then they shrug and carry on - it has become so frequent, and impossible to accommodate that it feels like they have compassion fatigue - which I can totally understand

That doesn't mean they will get one though .

No but if they see TikTok telling them because they can’t be bothered to do any laundry that indicates they are ADHD - official diagnosis or not - the power of persuasion - oh it’s not you you don’t have to change it’s modern society your brain is different so other people have to understand that otherwise they are horrible ableist people

humans are lazy - they don’t seek out social media that says - yep life is hard and boring - they seek out - oh poor misunderstood you

ok so you have ADHD? Now what are you going to do? The world isn’t suddenly going to change. Do you expect other people to carry you through life and effectively become a passenger? Not going to happen it’s hard enough for youngsters right now carrying someone else is unreasonable.

Because diagnosis itself is rooted in a model/paradigm/philosophy that is a) medical and b) positivist - that reality is objective and can be quantified through science and observation. This poses problems when applied to something as complex as human experience. It fixes a cluster of difficulties into something treatable through medicine and explains away something infinitely more diverse in its nature into one concrete label. It reifies a condition as essentially biological rather than taking into account the psychosocial experience of a person. Placing human behaviour and experience into this concrete box is limiting, and leaves less room for change and development, and also perpetuates a worrying trend of medicating subjective experience, which, to take it back to the topic of this thread, is an understandable concern for children in particular. Pathologising the child means nothing in society, family, relationships and so on has to change and everything can be fixed through taking medication, which is expensive but also comes with risks.

@Bellsbeachwaves yeah, but why does that bother you?

“Buying clean socks and underwear every week because you keep forgetting to wash them on time. Same with using paper plates and cutlery.
Showing up an hour early for an appointment to make sure you get there on time, and not being able to do or think about anything else all day other than getting to that appointment.
Spending 100% of your time focused on work, and working until midnight every night, to make sure you don't make any mistakes or get everything done, because you can't concentrate hard enough to finish it during work hours, then burning out and leaving the job six months later. Rinse and repeat.
HTH.”

all of this and for me add:

Drinking too much on social occasions since teenage years to try to quell brain wildfire and appear ‘normal’.

5 paid for todo/diarising/notetaking apps costing almost £1k a year. All essential to to sustain my career.

internally repeating/revoicing what someone is saying to me in real time, trying to take-in and remember what they are saying

stimming in socially acceptable ways - big gesticulations, lots of movement even when standing ‘still’, breaking so many pens through fidgeting in meetings.

sleeping every single night with a podcast.

internally counting steps when walking anywhere as can’t handle the boredom of simple walking

Hiding anxiety is easy to do if you’ve been doing it since you were a child.

Lists of things to do, including ‘get dressed’, ‘brush teeth’, ‘go to toilet’, ‘have breakfast’ required just to get out of house.

As a child masking obsessive behaviour - eg pretending to ‘play hide and seek with no one’ whilst actually checking behind all the furniture and doors.

Buying repeats of the same clothes to stop decision paralysis.

there are so many more.

Weighted blankets. Hot water bottles in bed even in heatwaves.

The fact that some people are denying that ADHD masking could be real really exposes how the other half live 😢

Above post as response to posts by

SteakBakesAndHotTakes

1diamondearing

Exactly. When you've never had to mask, you have no idea what it entails and how utterly exhausting it can be.