Page 2 | social media is convincing all our kids they are nd?

AuntMarch · 2025-08-09T13:38:07+00:00

I've just been sat on the bus and the tiktok videos I'm hearing almost have me seeking a diagnosis. "*ADHD TEST*" Put a finger down if you've ever focused on something so much you've lost track of time/ sometimes think you talk too much or not enough.." it's basically covered every possible behaviour and it's video after video. it's no wonder every kid thinks they have something.

Bingbopboomboomboombopbaam · 09/08/2025 15:20

Not just the kids - a quick browsing through MN will show that here is exactly the same.

CiffHang3r · 09/08/2025 15:20

1diamondearing · 09/08/2025 15:08

As a teacher, we no longer use the official diagnosis in the classroom, as almost by definition, having an official diagnosis of ADHD means you are less likely to be disabled by it. These days it really most likely means affluent and pushy mother.

Whereas the children genuinely disabled by ADHD (which is partly environmental) are less likely to have a mother with the time, money and inclination to get a diagnosis

This is part of the reason schools go by need in the classroom, when allocating support and resources, rather than official diagnosis

You are talking complete and absolute rubbish. Teachers can not ignore diagnoses or medication and no it most certainly isn’t just affluent parents who get their children diagnosed. Often it’s those with behavioural problems( more often boys) that get it picked up first. ADHD can often present differently in girls so they are more likely to get missed for quite some time. It’s not ok as it can often lead to risky behaviours and spiralling MH struggles as they get older.

GeniuneWorkOfFart · 09/08/2025 15:20

@1diamondearing I'm not affluent or pushy tbf. Well, maybe a bit pushy, if by that you mean "highly motivated to get the right support for my child"! But said child was very noticeably impacted by his ASD/ADHD at an early age and wasn't able to be educated in mainstream school because of it.

@soupyspoon funnily enough I'm not really like that with my DC. Meals are at mealtimes, ND or not. Snacks are for specific times/occasions. Long walk up a mountain - there's a snack at the top before we set off back down. Swimming - hot chocolate afterwards. Pick up from school - no snack needed because we're going home for tea, and if you can't wait for tea you can have an apple, oh you're not that hungry, fine I see 🤣 Fall over and bump your knee - I'm not reacting til I see how they react because half the time they get up and run off without needing intervention. Bit nervous of asking the bus driver for your ticket - tough, he isn't psychic, you'll have to ask if you want to get on. Etc etc.

CiffHang3r · 09/08/2025 15:22

Have you got evidence for your incorrect declaration of an epidemic? Rates have remained stable since 2020.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cg5vp62dnnro.amp

x2boys · 09/08/2025 15:23

usedtobeaylis · 09/08/2025 14:44

I just saw a video earlier today saying that if you got straight As in your exams it points to autism and ADHD. I feel like popular culture is eroding import aspects of recognising neuro divergence and making it seem like some things in isolation point to it. For example being bright, or being socially awkward. Combined with a reduction in critical thinking in the online world I think a whole lot of people are becoming convinced it's the 'reason' they have any difficulties. It's great when it's helpful and people who are undiagnosed can relate and see themselves in other ND people but I think we've gone beyond that. Even on here you see people suggesting neuro divergence based on one post of completely typical but, for lack of a better phrase, 'not perfect' child behaviour.

Edited

I really hate this idea that all people with autism are exceptionally intelligent, it just ignore,s those who are profoundly disabled by their autism.

CiffHang3r · 09/08/2025 15:23

1diamondearing · 09/08/2025 15:05

I totally agree with you, serious disabilities are being completely trivialised by this epidemic of diagnosis.

People with these mild/unnoticeable forms of ASD and ADHD really need a different name that describes them, so it is clear what is meant when people use words that mean an actual disability

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You clearly know absolutely nothing about ADHD.

CiffHang3r · 09/08/2025 15:24

x2boys · 09/08/2025 15:23

I really hate this idea that all people with autism are exceptionally intelligent, it just ignore,s those who are profoundly disabled by their autism.

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Many bright people with autism are profoundly disabled by it.

Titasaducksarse · 09/08/2025 15:27

Brianthedog · 09/08/2025 14:39

It’s not just kids. I’m mid 40s so many of my friends are now convinced they have ADHD.

One is obsessed with trying to convince me I am too, “you do X Y and Z!” Yes, but so do most people, it’s completely bloody normal.

Edited

You're so right. I met up with a friend I've not seen in a while. We were both relieved to hear that neither of us was diagnosed or believing we should be diagnosed with ND.
Conversely I spent a weekend with another friend who states she has undiagnosed ADHD...that was exhausting hearing excuses and how everything was due to that.

CiffHang3r · 09/08/2025 15:30

GeniuneWorkOfFart · 09/08/2025 15:07

Yes!! And all of them are pretty fucking snooty about people like DB who are messy and poorly presented and self medicate with drink/drugs and have never managed to hold down a job - but that the reality of being severely impacted by ADHD and not being able to access the right support/medication. Just the fact that these women can afford to pay for it shows that they're already doing a lot better than someone like DB...

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What are you talking about. I am late diagnosed( NHS before you ridicule my diagnosis) as were several women in my support group. You need evidence that it has impacted life and all had a history of self medicating, risky behaviours and a completely shit life. I have a job, a degree and a house but I am on a minimum wage and earning way less than I should be. My diagnosis came after my daughter’s late diagnosis during horrific mental health struggles. She was missed because people like you are ignorant as to how ADHD presents in women and girls and like to gate keep diagnosis for the men in their lives. Thank goodness experts are better informed.

IAmQuiteNiceActually · 09/08/2025 15:32

It's not great for proper ND families with proper diagnoses (not sure why but these threads always make me feel like I'm exaggerating my struggles even though me and my two DS's have NHS diagnoses). It means that it's very hard to access support and PIP is almost impossible to get.

LemondrizzleShark · 09/08/2025 15:33

GeniuneWorkOfFart · 09/08/2025 15:07

Yes!! And all of them are pretty fucking snooty about people like DB who are messy and poorly presented and self medicate with drink/drugs and have never managed to hold down a job - but that the reality of being severely impacted by ADHD and not being able to access the right support/medication. Just the fact that these women can afford to pay for it shows that they're already doing a lot better than someone like DB...

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So I can quite well see how that type of high-achieving woman can wonder if she has ADHD (obviously doesn’t excuse the snootiness). You are bright, you are effective, and then you have kids and a family and a house and pets and older parents, and suddenly you are doing everything badly and can’t give anything proper attention.

Far easier to have somebody tell you it isn’t your fault and give you a prescription for speed (which will make everyone, NT or not, better at focusing on things and getting stuff done), than it is to make your DH pull his weight at home, take a step back at work, and make your frail demented mum accept outside carers.

And I say this as somebody whose brother also has definite ADHD which has caused issues throughout his life, and I have often wondered if I have it too - but no, the actual problems is that I take on far too much at work because I don’t like to turn down opportunities, and am also juggling a child and housework with minimal help from DH. The house/child is fine when I’m off work (maternity leave was bliss), and the work is fine when I can focus on it (working late etc). It’s the combination that trips me up. That isn’t ADHD.

x2boys · 09/08/2025 15:34

1apenny2apenny · 09/08/2025 15:03

Not just social media but the benefits system too. When you can get a mobility car when you’ve got a diagnosis and start driving at 16 there’s 2 big incentives right there. And yes I do know someone who had a brand new luxury brand car because of diagnosis. Not saying they aren’t autistic but pointing out that for some the money will be an incentive

You can't get a mobility car for just being autistic it goes off needs
We have a mobility car for my 15 year old becsyse he's severely mentally impaired by his autism and learning disabilities he's cognitively around 2/3
When he transfers to PIP I can't see the rares changing as it's about the person, s ability to navigate a journey from A to B and as he's non verbal ss in can't speak at all he's never going to be able to do that.
It's a massive spectrum.

x2boys · 09/08/2025 15:36

CiffHang3r · 09/08/2025 15:24

Many bright people with autism are profoundly disabled by it.

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And many are not that's my point.

IAmQuiteNiceActually · 09/08/2025 15:36

CiffHang3r · 09/08/2025 15:24

Many bright people with autism are profoundly disabled by it.

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Yep. Often, extreme intelligence comes with more extreme autism traits. That's certainly the case within my family.

IAmQuiteNiceActually · 09/08/2025 15:38

x2boys · 09/08/2025 15:36

And many are not that's my point.

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It often comes at a cost though. They may be heavily masking and suffering from very severe anxiety which causes them to become ill.

x2boys · 09/08/2025 15:39

1apenny2apenny · 09/08/2025 15:03

Not just social media but the benefits system too. When you can get a mobility car when you’ve got a diagnosis and start driving at 16 there’s 2 big incentives right there. And yes I do know someone who had a brand new luxury brand car because of diagnosis. Not saying they aren’t autistic but pointing out that for some the money will be an incentive

Also if they had a luxury brand car they will have had to fork out a significant deposit for it.

CiffHang3r · 09/08/2025 15:40

LemondrizzleShark · 09/08/2025 15:33

So I can quite well see how that type of high-achieving woman can wonder if she has ADHD (obviously doesn’t excuse the snootiness). You are bright, you are effective, and then you have kids and a family and a house and pets and older parents, and suddenly you are doing everything badly and can’t give anything proper attention.

Far easier to have somebody tell you it isn’t your fault and give you a prescription for speed (which will make everyone, NT or not, better at focusing on things and getting stuff done), than it is to make your DH pull his weight at home, take a step back at work, and make your frail demented mum accept outside carers.

And I say this as somebody whose brother also has definite ADHD which has caused issues throughout his life, and I have often wondered if I have it too - but no, the actual problems is that I take on far too much at work because I don’t like to turn down opportunities, and am also juggling a child and housework with minimal help from DH. The house/child is fine when I’m off work (maternity leave was bliss), and the work is fine when I can focus on it (working late etc). It’s the combination that trips me up. That isn’t ADHD.

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Great and for other women it’s late diagnosed ADHD. You don’t get a diagnosis for suddenly not being able to run a household. 🙄

OhHellolittleone · 09/08/2025 15:40

1diamondearing · 09/08/2025 14:48

"Neurodiversity" in itself is purely a social media invention, it has no formal scientific or medical definition

It’s an umbrella term for any kind of neurological or learning difference it seems. I fall under this umbrella as a a dyslexic, but I don’t like the term. When I challenged someone on LinkedIn saying I should call myself neurodiverse I was told I do a disservice to others by not… weird. It also included epilepsy under the umbrella which my epileptic friend was really unsure/annoyed about as she feels it’s a condition in its own right and doesn’t need an umbrella as it doesn’t function in the same way as say autism.

x2boys · 09/08/2025 15:41

IAmQuiteNiceActually · 09/08/2025 15:38

It often comes at a cost though. They may be heavily masking and suffering from very severe anxiety which causes them to become ill.

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Look I'm.not arguing
I'm just pointing out it'd s huge spectrum and there are many autistic people who also have severe learning disabilities yet hey are still autistic .
I

TinselTarTars · 09/08/2025 15:42

GeniuneWorkOfFart · 09/08/2025 15:00

I'm inclined to agree tbh, despite having a child and partner who are genuinely diagnosed with ASD/ADHD.

The difference between my 45 yr old brother (whose life has been severely impacted by ADHD but was only formally diagnosed last year after waiting 4 years for an NHS assessment), and the 40 odd yr old women I know who are getting private diagnoses and ADHD meds within months because they're scatty and get bored easily in a job...well it's indescribable.

These women have married, raised children, learned to drive, had jobs, bought houses, got friends, do their taxes - basically they run their lives competently. Whereas DB's life has been completely ruined by his inability to focus and concentrate. He's been in prison because of it. He can't drive because of it. He is completely unemployable because of it. He can't maintain relationships because of it. He can't handle his own life admin, he can't keep hold of a phone, he can't maintain a tenancy, you name it he struggles with it. He is truly and genuinely impaired in pretty much every area of his life, but he is still unmedicated because the waiting list for medication titration (even post diagnosis) in his area runs to years.

It's not the same thing at all. Thank fuck times have moved on enough that my ASD/ADHD child was diagnosed as an actual child and, alongside his special school, have been able to invest a lot of time and resources into teaching him coping strategies so that the impact on his adult life will hopefully be lessened. His presentation and needs are pretty much the same as DB was as a child but the difference is I know what I'm dealing with and are putting all the support in now to give him a much better chance at a happy and successful life. So I'm not against diagnosis at all, I just get irritated by people who don't really appear to be impaired by the traits they feel they have trying to make out they're in the same boat as people like DB and DS!!

Another one nodding along with you. My son was diagnosed ADHD at the age of 6. When a child that young is diagnosed you can only imagine the presentation.

As parents we are exhausted, holding down full time jobs and supporting him. Yet the popularity of such diagnosis takes away the actual difficulties he experiences on the daily and also the fact that he is disabled.
I feel that there are many people who view ADHD as either poor behaviour or lack of attention but it is so much more.

I also have a very close friend who is seeking diagnosis at 38. Yet is very successful in her field, home owner, mother. I did say frankly, why bother etc but she feels it will help her in asking for reasonable adjustments in the work place. My view is having a name to the issue doesn't remove the need, if you need an adjustment to function then how are you able to push on through whilst waiting?

CiffHang3r · 09/08/2025 15:43

IAmQuiteNiceActually · 09/08/2025 15:32

It's not great for proper ND families with proper diagnoses (not sure why but these threads always make me feel like I'm exaggerating my struggles even though me and my two DS's have NHS diagnoses). It means that it's very hard to access support and PIP is almost impossible to get.

It really doesn’t mean that( I have a child on PIP) and 2 without. If you don’t need support you won’t get it.If you need MH support or PIP you apply. Even those with extreme MH struggles don’t get support so I fail to see why somebody who has no MH struggles is going to get any or take from you.

soupyspoon · 09/08/2025 15:44

LemondrizzleShark · 09/08/2025 15:33

So I can quite well see how that type of high-achieving woman can wonder if she has ADHD (obviously doesn’t excuse the snootiness). You are bright, you are effective, and then you have kids and a family and a house and pets and older parents, and suddenly you are doing everything badly and can’t give anything proper attention.

Far easier to have somebody tell you it isn’t your fault and give you a prescription for speed (which will make everyone, NT or not, better at focusing on things and getting stuff done), than it is to make your DH pull his weight at home, take a step back at work, and make your frail demented mum accept outside carers.

And I say this as somebody whose brother also has definite ADHD which has caused issues throughout his life, and I have often wondered if I have it too - but no, the actual problems is that I take on far too much at work because I don’t like to turn down opportunities, and am also juggling a child and housework with minimal help from DH. The house/child is fine when I’m off work (maternity leave was bliss), and the work is fine when I can focus on it (working late etc). It’s the combination that trips me up. That isn’t ADHD.

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Absolutley this all over. I keep reading that women of a certain age, ie my age! Are likely to be late diagnosed because we've masked all our lives and then menopause comes along and the wheels fall off and voila, it was ND all along and if only you had known blah blah blah

Actually women in their 50s are largely suffering from shit life syndome, that should be the diagnosis, caring for both kids and elderly parents, perhaps ending or wanting to end a relationship with their useless husband, over stimulated by the relentless demands of impossible jobs and the structure in society not being family or female friendly or actually human friendly.

We might be falling apart but its not ND

TigerRag · 09/08/2025 15:46

1apenny2apenny · 09/08/2025 15:03

Not just social media but the benefits system too. When you can get a mobility car when you’ve got a diagnosis and start driving at 16 there’s 2 big incentives right there. And yes I do know someone who had a brand new luxury brand car because of diagnosis. Not saying they aren’t autistic but pointing out that for some the money will be an incentive

I've seen on a Facebook group a parent trying to get enhanced mobility pip for their child so the child has a car to drive. The child doesn't have a disability which affects their ability to walk but has ADHD

I'm genuinely confused how someone can be so severely disabled that they can't follow a familiar journey without help but can drive?

CiffHang3r · 09/08/2025 15:48

TinselTarTars · 09/08/2025 15:42

Another one nodding along with you. My son was diagnosed ADHD at the age of 6. When a child that young is diagnosed you can only imagine the presentation.

As parents we are exhausted, holding down full time jobs and supporting him. Yet the popularity of such diagnosis takes away the actual difficulties he experiences on the daily and also the fact that he is disabled.
I feel that there are many people who view ADHD as either poor behaviour or lack of attention but it is so much more.

I also have a very close friend who is seeking diagnosis at 38. Yet is very successful in her field, home owner, mother. I did say frankly, why bother etc but she feels it will help her in asking for reasonable adjustments in the work place. My view is having a name to the issue doesn't remove the need, if you need an adjustment to function then how are you able to push on through whilst waiting?

Show quote history

You self medicate and in the case of women you hide it. Lucky you getting a diagnosis for your boy at 6. My girl was ignored because girls can present differently which then often leads to severe MH struggles and hospitalisations. My daughter has been seriously ill due to ignorance re ADHD presentation in women and girls. It’s always the mums of boys who seem to want to gate keep from women and girls. Thankfully we are far better informed now and girls like my daughter are far less likely to suffer in silence.

LemondrizzleShark · 09/08/2025 15:48

CiffHang3r · 09/08/2025 15:40

Great and for other women it’s late diagnosed ADHD. You don’t get a diagnosis for suddenly not being able to run a household. 🙄

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I am not saying anyone gets a formal diagnosis or medication based on that! I am saying why it is an appealing solution for people like me who do not have ADHD but who are struggling with a lot of competing demands!

OP was talking about people doing online quizzes and watching TikTok, and self-diagnosing based on that.