social media is convincing all our kids they are nd?

[AuntMarch]

I've just been sat on the bus and the tiktok videos I'm hearing almost have me seeking a diagnosis.
"ADHD TEST" Put a finger down if you've ever focused on something so much you've lost track of time/ sometimes think you talk too much or not enough.."
it's basically covered every possible behaviour and it's video after video.

it's no wonder every kid thinks they have something.

Well quite. So some level of masking is normal and social. We all have to live by the rules even if we don't want to.

Which shows how little you know about it. I can't filter out noise and certain letters and words sound like other things. I really do wish it was just being distracted by background noise

All the noises can go into one loud horrible noise

I've lost count of the amount of things I misheard and it's not because I'm slightly deaf too

It is massively debilitating if you have 1,2 or even 3 disabilities though. Hugely so.

The neuro diverse are the new neuro typical.

Yes.

In terms of masking, I don't think you can mask ADHD. But autistic girls do mask as they copy social interaction manners and behaviours from peers to appear to blend in when these manners ns behaviours do not at all come naturally to them as they don't feel/ think in the way neuro typicals do. It's inauthentic, essentially. Autistic girls, while more likely to be part of a peer group if they mask end up alienated from their authentic selves. They get judged by other for being a bit off in social communication and for lack of resilience. It's very difficult. However, it is rare. Many children today are simply not raised well and would fare so much better with limited access to tech, lots of outdoors and creative activity, parents who are emotionally intelligent, healthy food and lots of opportunity from babyhood to manage their feelings and fit in in groups.

They really aren’t, those with autism and adhd form a very small part of the population.

Do you have tinnitus? Are you autistic or do you have ADHD? Asking as a relative has exactly this problem, they find other very difficult to process spoken language in real time but are very intelligent and socially capable otherwise. They also do have tinnitus but it's more than noise that's the problem

The level of ignorance is actually distressing me.

I’ve read some of this thread from yesterday and some from today. You are all over it. I’ve read some of your posts with interest.

But now you’ve said this arrant nonsense, which does make me wonder how much of the rest of your posts are arrant nonsense.

I commute in London and it’s now impossible to get in any public transport without hearing someone’s phone volume because they’re not using headphones. If it’s a couple of people together they’re watching videos on one of their phones with the volume on. It’s across all demographics but please don’t think for one second that young people don’t scroll through their SM without headphones in public places.

How do you know the bus was crowded? The OP posted at 2.30 yesterday afternoon, saying she’d just been on a bus. Middle of the workday in the summer holidays? Very unlikely to be a crowded bus. But even crowded buses don’t have to be noisy - unless someone’s watching TikTok videos with no headphones.

Maybe take a break from this thread? It’s clearly upsetting you a lot.

Masking is a lot more complex than you’re making out - most people don’t even realise they’re doing it until they go into burnout from stress and overwhelm, and everything starts to fall apart.

I was high-masking for decades until I had a breakdown and suddenly didn’t have the mental bandwidth to do it anymore. It was only with professional support that I realised that all my coping strategies were because I was autistic and completely unable to function otherwise.

At the end of the day it’s human nature to want to fit in with society - hence the whole “find your tribe” thing. Nobody likes feeling left out or as though they’re different or odd.

Wholeheartedly agree.

All those who claim a confident self diagnosis with never a mention of co-morbids or any impact on their totally normal lives are exasperating. They totally lower the challenges and struggles faced every day by the genuinely diagnosed.

Anyone can have traits, but unless those traits are, for want of a better simple explanation, across the board and severely impact daily living, a diagnosis by professionals would not be given.

Thank you of course it's not international, and mostly people don't realise it, it's a way to be in groups when the people in the group don't relate to you and you don't relate to them.

I was high-masking for decades until I had a breakdown and suddenly didn’t have the mental bandwidth to do it anymore. Please would you mind sharing how you learned to not mask and be yourself? This is the most important thing for autistic girls and women. The masking destroys their mental health and physical health too, as everyone has a need to be authentic and that means you interact in ways that cognitively make sense to you. It's know a young person who is on the pathway to being diagnosed and cannot see how she masks. It's heart breaking and I hope she will get support to learn to be comfortable in her own skin.

I don't believe therapists are often equipped to deal with this and much more training is needed.

Again, question completely dodged - how many more ways are people going to try and insist I am wrong without explaining why I am wrong?

It just emphasises that there is no explanation.

"Masked ADHD" is still an oxymoron

I don't think you can mask ADHD

You can.

Please explain why "masking" is different to "behaving normally" which is something every single civilised human being learns, some with more difficulty than others, but it isn't natural to any of us.

And how is "learning to behave normally" possible in a condition defined by not being able to behave normally?

How, with poor impulse control?

I have explained how I did further up. Not everyone can.

It really isn’t. A quick internet search will show you what happens

Girls with ADHD often mask their symptoms to fit in with social expectations, which can lead to them being overlooked or misdiagnosed. Masking involves consciously or unconsciously modifying their behavior to appear neurotypical, often leading to exhaustion and self-doubt.

Common masking behaviors include:
Suppressing hyperactivity:
Forcing themselves to sit still, suppressing fidgeting, and appearing calm when they feel restless.

Over-preparing:
Spending extra time and effort to avoid making mistakes or saying the "wrong" thing in conversations.

Mimicking others:
Copying the behavior, speech patterns, or organizational styles of others to blend in.

Suppressing emotions:
Bottling up feelings and impulses, which can lead to emotional dysregulation and anxiety.

Compensation for inattentiveness:
Working late, overcompensating for missed deadlines, and creating elaborate systems to manage tasks.

Camouflaging in social situations:
Pretending to understand conversations, nodding along, and appearing engaged when they are struggling to focus or understand.

Internalizing perfectionism:
Striving for perfection to avoid criticism and judgment.

Consequences of Masking:
Burnout and fatigue: Constant effort to mask can lead to physical and mental exhaustion.

Low self-esteem and self-doubt: Masking can create a disconnect between their true selves and their perceived selves, leading to feelings of inadequacy.

Social anxiety and isolation: The fear of being judged or misunderstood can lead to social anxiety and withdrawal.

Difficulty forming authentic relationships:Masking can make it challenging to form genuine connections with others.

Why is masking more common in girls?
Societal expectations:
Girls are often socialized to be quiet, polite, and compliant, leading them to internalize the need to mask their ADHD symptoms.

Lack of awareness:
ADHD in girls is often overlooked due to a lack of awareness of how symptoms manifest differently in females.

Underdiagnosis:
Because girls may not exhibit the stereotypical hyperactive and disruptive behaviors associated with ADHD, they are often underdiagnosed and miss out on appropriate support and treatment.

Read my previous post. Same goes for your question about how it differs from typical behaviour @1diamondearing.

How! "Masked ADHD" is a total contradiction in terms.

it like me saying I have totally benign cancer. Or I have normal-colour-vision colour-blindness.

Of course it's different, it's not about not slurping, burping or picking your nose or worse, most people learn not to do these if culturally not appropriate and no one will get mental health problems as a result of not doing these things.

It's about communication and interaction. It's acting as if the way people talk with each other and socialise also comes naturally to you when it doesn't at all. It's about speaking, looking, dressing, moving and acting in a manner to fit in with female peer group (not sure how it works with boys), even adopting facial expressions and laughter so that you gel and are one of them when none of this comes naturally to you do to the way your brain works. The way autistic girls are different socially is obviously slightly different for each individual but masking in that way is extremely detrimental as you live life as a fake version of yourself merely to fit in. Can you se the difference?

Apologies, I don't mean to oversimplify it. I think your post makes total sense in how you explain the impact of masking.

My question (and it's not with your case specifically) is why is that now often defined as part of being autistic or ADHD. Masking, then it not working anymore, often in midlife(!), has been around for a long time. Why is it now diagnosed as autism and ADHD. Why the need for a 'diagnosis'?

I didn't know this, thank you for posting