for losing weight quietly and now being criticised for it?

[whataboutyouu]

I’ve lost a bit of weight recently, and honestly, I’m feeling good about it. I didn’t announce it to anyone because I’ve failed before and didn’t want to deal with the pressure or attention. I just quietly cleaned up my diet and started strength training. Something I’ve been working on consistently, without talking about it to anyone. This time, I’ve actually stuck to it, and I’ve been feeling stronger, healthier, and more confident.

But now that people are noticing, they’ve started to comment. The weird thing is, it’s not just a casual "Oh, you look good!" Instead, they’re saying things like "You’ve lost too much" or "Don’t lose any more," and asking if I’m on Mounjaro. I didn’t go to extremes, just focused on my health in a way that feels sustainable to me. I am now a healthy BMI.

AIBU for being upset by their comments or should I just brush it off?

Well done!
Ignore them. It's none of their business. Just smile and say thanks and move on.

I’m currently getting the ‘don’t lose anymore’ from friends who are slimmer than me. And it’s not malicious I just think it’s a shock to see me 2.5 stone lighter. I don’t want to lose anymore . Well done you for looking after yourself and I bet you look fab

Instead, they’re saying things like "You’ve lost too much" or "Don’t lose any more"

Are these fair comments?

Meh! Just ignore.

Your body, your choice.

In my workplace, anyone who has lost weight “must be on Monjaro” as if people never went on diets before it was available.

I said in my OP, I am now a healthy BMI.

Healthy BMI or not, it’s about how you look. That said, you should just ignore - no one else’s opinion matters at all!

It’s the change. They’re used to seeing you one way and need adjusting to the new you. When they say ‘you don’t need to lose any more’ just smile and say something noncommittal.

In my workplace, they are all on Mounjaro - some are quite open about it with others saying the same as the Op re ‘just being healthier & cutting out takeaways’ (but they’ve told others they’re taking it who have been less discreet on their behalf!)

It’s crazy how many regular people are on the jabs!

A healthy BMI is a range though - you might look great at one end, less so at the other. (My BMI is now 27 so obviously I need to lose more to reach 25. I don't think I'd want to go below that, I'm not sure it would look well on me. I have been that slim in the past but that was then.)

I'm not saying they are right, just wondering if they might have a point.

A heathy BMI can be pretty meaningless though op. There are lots of body types for whom the lower ranges of the 'healthy' BMI are unsuitable.

A friend of mine has recently lost a couple of stone, going from being a pound or two overweight to a very low BMI but technically in the healthy range. To be frank she looks fucking dreadful - ill and drawn.

If people are asking if you've used Mounjaro that's normally indicative that you appear to have lost a substantial amount of weight, not just lifted a few dumbells and toned up.

No one can lose weight any more without being accused of being on Mounjaro 🙄

I was 26 and I am now 24 so not at the lower end.

Maybe they genuinely feel you look too thin but even if they do they absolutely do not have the right to comment. I really don't understand why people do this, are they trying to put you down again in case you get too full of yourself now that you are happy with your size? I don't know the answer.

Rise above it and be proud of yourself, that's all you can do.

I'm getting 'don't lose any more' and people saying 'gosh you look really skinny, are you sure you're okay' because I'm lost 5 stone. I'm still a stone and a half above the top end of a healthy BMI for my height 🙄People are just used to seeing you a particular way and find it hard to adapt, I think. You can't stop them so you may as well learn to (internally) roll your eyes and redirect the conversation!

People hate fat people getting slim. Well done and ignore and as long as you are a healthy weight it’s no one’s business.

I think we’re used to seeing meat on bones now, so anything less can immediately look wrong. Once we get used to seeing more slimmed down versions we get used to it and that then becomes okay. My dsis once lost a good amount of weight - but her face looked so gaunt - dug out old photos and she was just the same back then before she put the weight on!

I've had the same in the past: once when I went down from 15st 4 to 10st 12, more than 20 years ago and now. (I'm 5ft 9 with skinny wrists.)

This time I went down from 16st 4 to a really skinny...14st 4. I'm hoping to lose a bit more, but I'm doing it gradually.

I hate to say it, but I think that some people are more comfortable seeing me as 'the fat friend'.

Well done on losing the weight. I know exactly what you mean about people saying “ooh don’t lose too much”, “it won’t look right on you”, “but you’re quite tall so…” (because tall slim people don’t exist 🤣 and being tall for some reason means you should have a large frame 🤔) I’m 5’8” but have a naturally slender frame (best way I can think to describe it) I was slim, size 10 with not many curves all my life until I had children 6 years ago and packed on the pounds, bmi hovering between 26 and 30 ever since. I think people get used to you being bigger and that becomes what you’re supposed to look like in their eyes, when in fact you’re not supposed to look like that, you’re obese and unhealthy and it’s not “natural” for you. I am on the jabs and have lost 1.5 stone so far but my bmi is still 27. I’ve had compliments but often followed by, “you look great now, don’t lose anymore though”. If I say but I’m still overweight and that I want to get down to 10 stone to a bang in the middle healthy bmi of 22 they gasp and say, “oh no, that’ll be far too much! You’ll look way too thin!” How can I be too thin with a bmi of 22…what I used to be for most of my life?! It’s so annoying! Mostly people just aren’t used to seeing me like that anymore, but for some people I think they feel threatened because they don’t feel able to lose that much weight themselves

People are so nosey and so jealous
my own sister who I thought knew I was on Ozempic for type 2 said about me the other day you are looking a bit gaunt is it ozempic face - I looked her in the eye laughed and said - hmmm or maybe as I have had 2 big teeth removed recently.... she was all "ewwww" so I just said think about what you are asking

I am just getting older prior to Oz lost 4 stone and have lost about another 10lb since - your body needs time to adjust to be frank and esp the face when you loose a layer of fat the skin has to adjust - and may or may not make you look abt 30 depending on what age you are when you loose the weight

I have lost a lot of weight over the last year, largely through giving up drinking, eating better and getting back into exercise.

People comment on it all the time and it makes me v uncomfortable, eg "oooooh don't disappear!" The comments make me uncomfortable and the fact that people have been looking at my body (I know that's life, but I could live without the comments as I am self conscious).

So, yanbu. I get it.

I recommend the phrase 'I'm very happy with my weight loss, but I think it's a very boring subject to discuss' accompanied by a sweet smile.

I'm someone who I at least personally thinks does look too thin within most of my healthy BMI range. Genuinely.

Ideal for me is to hover a little above it, or only just within it.

And yet, as much as I acknowledge that for myself , I would still not take "DONT LOSE ANY MORE" as well meant unless it was from my inner circle.

Fatties who recently got thin are still treated as fatties by the fat phobes, and as such get spoken to as if we're naive teenagers.

There's a whole new wave of bollocks to wade through when you LOSE the weight that's just a new layer of fat phobic faux concern.

OP some people make half an effort to hide their fat phobia to your face when you're still fat, but show you their whole ugly faces once you shrink. And "MAKE SURE YOU DONT FADE AWAY" etc is just another way of speaking to fatties as if their brains aren't grown up adult brains, and it's in the same tone as giving a kid £20 but then letting them know that you don't trust them to not spend it all at once!

And they say that in one breath and at the same time are holding their breath for you to "pile it all on again".

It's just people's masks slipping.

I like "oh but I'm sure that's the least interesting we've been up to since we last saw each other"

Which is kinda my little angry way of telling them, I see you!

I doubt they hear it that way though

It’s the old crabs in a bucket thing…people want you to stay stuck because when you start to do well (job, weight loss - whatever) they take it personally for some odd reason and want you to stay stuck like them.

Ignore ignore ignore!!