for losing weight quietly and now being criticised for it?

[whataboutyouu]

I’ve lost a bit of weight recently, and honestly, I’m feeling good about it. I didn’t announce it to anyone because I’ve failed before and didn’t want to deal with the pressure or attention. I just quietly cleaned up my diet and started strength training. Something I’ve been working on consistently, without talking about it to anyone. This time, I’ve actually stuck to it, and I’ve been feeling stronger, healthier, and more confident.

But now that people are noticing, they’ve started to comment. The weird thing is, it’s not just a casual "Oh, you look good!" Instead, they’re saying things like "You’ve lost too much" or "Don’t lose any more," and asking if I’m on Mounjaro. I didn’t go to extremes, just focused on my health in a way that feels sustainable to me. I am now a healthy BMI.

AIBU for being upset by their comments or should I just brush it off?

It's them telling you how much they looked at and judged your body when it was bigger, but didn't say at the time, cause they're good like that

Well done you. Ignore any comments - it’s most likely come from some form of jealousy:

@SkylarFalls 🤣 Yes!

I should add that I don't mind close friends who I trust and respect asking me about it, because I get the curiosity etc. It's just everyone else!

Is it a fair comment depends on who is commenting

Is it one of the people I ask advice from? Who knows my health concerns? Who would tell me if I was house hunting in the subsiding end of town etc??

I know the people I can say hard to hear things with love to

And it's not random aquaintances

Faux concern is the fat phobes armour

Can you tell them they DO need to lose a bit more back?

No of course you can't

So sorry but why the fuck should we smile nicely?

I lost almost 3 stone last year and went from a BMI of almost 33 to 26. When I got to a BMI of 26, even I was having trouble adjusting to the way I now looked because it’s like ‘I looked too slim for me’ so I could understand where the comments are coming from.
It took me months to adjust to the way I now look and I was getting comments telling me to stop exercising, stop losing etc which made no sense because if I stopped what I was doing, I would just pile it back on.
Because of my ethnicity, 23 is my healthy BMI. I’m now almost at a BMI of 23 after 11 months because I took it slow from then. I’ve been lifting heavy weights, less cardio and I’m now well toned up. I don’t look as slim as I did when my BMI was 26. It makes no sense because I weigh less but I now have a better body composition, also I’m now used to looking like this, the comments have more or less stopped because they’re all used to me looking slim as well.

Why do you see it as an 'accusation' rather than a assumption though?

When I gave up smoking, I went cold turkey and a lot of people assumed I'd used nicotine patches or gum.

I just said, 'no I did it without' 🤷‍♂️

It didn't occur to me that they might be 'accusing' me.

It's an accusation from some quarters because so many people seem to see Mounjaro as being the "easy" way.

I think you nerd go be sure your body fat percentage is in a healthy range for c a woman as well as your BMI. If multiple unconnected people are saying the same thing then perhaps there is some truth in what they are saying?

Conversely I DO use it, but lost weight Extremely slowly on it (on purpose). And people DONT think I used it because I took a break and went on maintenance once I reached a midsize!

I annoy people when I admit to it because I don't fit their profile of obese to underweight to obese again

They try to tell me I'll go one way or another very soon, you know, out of concern, and when I tell them I have in fact used it for well over a year, and maintained for 6months at a time when I was on a break from weight loss... Are they delighted to hear an example of non extreme sensible successful WLI use? Are they F+CK

(Not everyone, but the kinda people the OP is encountering)

Same as nicotine patches and gum then.

But it's still an assumption, rather than an accusation.

No. Honestly, I got myself to the mid-range for a woman of my then age and height, my BMI was fine, my fat percentage was fine.

I was 5ft9 and a size 14. I got "Oh, don't you think you've overdone it?" from friends. On the other hand, family and work colleagues congratulated me on how well I'd done.

Do people see nicotine patches and gum as being "easy"?

It's not in the same ball park

It SHOULD be, but it really isn't

Nicotine replacement was never called lazy, or dangerous (it can be!). People on it werent spoken to or about like silly children.

I think it's really disingenuous to suggest that "bet shes on the jabs" is commonly said in the same neutral tones that "did you use patches or go cold turkey" gets asked

Just to add that I'd say that it's very much an "accusation" - there's a great deal of hypocrisy around anything to do with a woman's appearance. (Yes, people lose weight for health reasons, but there's a tendency for the world at large to focus on the change in appearance.)

Yes they do.

I mean easier than giving up without.

Just as WLI are supposed to make it easier to lose weight than without.

Yes but 'I bet' is still an assumption.

A close friend of mine came round to my house this week and said ‘ oh, you look so gaunt, do not lose another pound. Start eating crisps’
For the record I am a healthy weight, but have lost 2 stone. I am not sure why people feel they can say these things - I told her I am getting little sleep and that’s probably why I look so awful
Imagine if I told her she was looking fat and not good.

Looks are not the most important factor.

I'm losing weight for my health. I don't give a shit if some random thinks my face looks too thin, I care about my heart, my arteries, my risk of T2D, my knees etc.

It's harder to assume you mean well the more you dig in on this.

People recognising nicotine replacement as useful, and more likely to make you a success story... Is obviously not the same as the lazy/easy/fast fix sneering that people using WLIs, or even not like the OP, are dealing with

I'm less and less convinced that you really don't see the difference.

I've stopped engaging. I realised that I've seen this username's work elsewhere.

Up to you what you believe, I'm just passing the time on this thread the same as you and everyone else 🤷‍♂️

People are allowed different opinions to you without having some kind of weird ulterior motive.

And I still don't think when people assume someone is using an aid to weight loss, that they're necessarily accusing them.

Oh good God! 🤣

I'll leave you to your little private echo chamber then.

No worries.

People will do anything to slow your progress through passive aggressive comments. Ignore it.